Intro: Welcome to The Masterful Coach podcast, with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place. And now your host, master coach instructor, Molly Claire. Molly Claire: Coaches, how about a little coaching mastery episode for you? I was so inspired this week, as I was working with my current group of coaches, helping them to really master their coaching skills and really understand some of the fundamentals of what makes coaching effective, even beyond the tools or modalities that you’re using. And so it was so fun working with them this week. And I thought, you know what, I want to share a few ideas with all of you. So don’t worry, those of you that were in our Master Your Coaching call, this is something that will really add to what we talked about there. So, stay tuned, there’s more to come. Meanwhile, I want to do a quick shout out to my new small group of coaches. 90 Days with A Master Coach is happening now, actually, when this podcast comes out. This will be our first group call. So essentially, what I’ve done is I’ve connected with each of these coaches ahead of time; everyone knows exactly what they’re focusing on, everyone has a little bit of a plan already in place that we’ve laid out, and we are going to get to work. When I was talking with each of these coaches ahead of time, I told them, “This is going to be the most effective 90 days, and you’re going to get more done than you’ve ever gotten done in a 90-day period before and you’re going to do it without overextending yourself, without stressing yourself out. We’re going to come in, we’re going to do the easy things, we’re going to get it done, they’re going to be impactful. Friday comes, and you get a weekend, and then you come back on Monday and we do it all over again. So really excited to help you coaches to create a business that is working, that is moving forward, and that fits in with your ideal life. Let’s do it! All right! Now this episode, this is going to be a short and sweet episode with a few things for you to think about as a coach when it comes to the basic things you do with your client. And essentially, this comes down to, first, the ability to be with your client. Second, the ability to teach your client to be with themselves. And finally, teaching your client how to be with the people and the things and activities in their life in a way that serves them and the greater whole. So, let’s talk first about how to be with your client. As you’re listening, I want you to think about how you prepare yourself to really be with your client in that space. Now, as you’re preparing for your session, are you thinking about your own insecurities or worries? Are you caught up in your own mind? Or do you have a practice for being able to allow yourself to step into the space where you are there in service of your clients? Now a big thing that I talk about often with my coaches as they’re learning how to be effective is the value of that relationship with your client. And so part of being with your client is ensuring that you are setting up a good solid connected relationship. It also means that as a coach, you are able to be present with your client emotionally, and that you are able to connect with your clients’ emotions. Now oftentimes, what we bring as a coach is we bring an objective view. We’re able to show the client from an outside perspective what they can’t see, which requires us to not get swept up in the emotions of our clients. But the artfullness in all of this is the ability to be connected with your client and their emotions, while also allowing that broader view. This is vital when it comes to being with your client. Also, really think about how you, in your mind, carve out the space to be with your client when you’re in the session and you notice your own thoughts of insecurities come up, your own thoughts and feelings of: “Gosh, I’m not really sure” or “I’m a little stuck” or “I don’t know what this client needs.” Because the reality is that as a coach and as a human, it’s normal to have these thoughts and feelings come up. So, the question for you to consider as you’re going into your coaching this week: How do you carve out the space to be with the client, and allow yourself to stay there stay with it, even when the noise comes up in your own head, okay? So that’s part one, be with your client. Let’s talk about item number two, teaching your client to be with themselves. As a coach, you are helping your client with their relationships, stopping over drinking, stopping over eating, making more money, doing the thing, whatever it is, improving their relationship with their kids, and their family. And one of the most vital things that we do is we teach our clients to be with themselves. So, think about for you, think about your niche, the clients that you are working with, and what it is they’re wanting help with. So, if they’re wanting help in their relationships or with their job, or with food, most likely, they’re putting so much power outside of them. The power is out there. And when you can, work with your client, and teach them to be with themselves, including their own emotions. That is the magic to them being able to change everything, not only internally, but outwardly as well. So, keep in mind that the self-work that you do as a coach is the foundation for absolutely everything your client will do. So, every time your client is wanting to look outside of them, wanting to give that power away, how do you bring them back to that foundation? The key really, is always pointing the client inward. Now this can be misused often as well. For example, if the client is blaming people or things outside of them, and then they start looking inward, and they turn the blame inward, this is never going to be useful. This is not what we’re going for. This is not what looking inward means right? But looking inward, rather, is an opportunity for you to help your client to be with their emotions and understand what is going on for me. So, this work is the foundation. It is pointing the client inward. And the last thing I want to speak to about you helping your client to be with themselves, is the importance of helping your client to pay attention to their own wants and their own needs. Most of the time, when your clients are looking to change things in their life outside of them, they are looking to fulfill some need or want that they have. And in fact, they want to quit that thing or change the thing in order to fulfill that need. And the reason they have that problem or thing they want to change to begin with, is because they have a need. So, remember that as you’re teaching your client to be with themselves, that part of that is really connecting with their own wants and their own needs. We’re going to talk about one more thing before I send you off today. Teach your clients how to be with the people and with the things in their life. So oftentimes, when our clients come to us, this is where they want us to start, right? They want us to help them learn how to engage in their relationship, what to do at work, how to show up. That’s what they’re asking for. And even though as coaches, we are really setting the goal there with them and saying this is the goal, right, we’re working on changing this thing in the exterior, we first have to begin with that self-connection. So that’s why we’ve talked about that first: be with your client, teach your client to be with them. Now when you’re working with your client to learn how to be with the people in their life, how to be with the things around them, in the situations around them. Once they have created that self-connection, this is when the work moves to helping your client connect with the purpose and the intention in each relationship, thing, place, whatever it is in their life that they’re looking to change or improve. And the more you can help your client to be in touch with their own wants and needs, which is what we talked about just a minute ago with connecting to themselves, this actually sets them up to be able to connect with what is my purpose or intention in this relationship, in this job, in this exercise of learning to stop over eating and regain my health? The next thing you can work with your client on as you’re teaching them to be with the people and situations in their life in a better way, is really simply choosing intentionally how they want to show up. And typically, what gets in the way of this is the client not having that foundation of self-worth. So, by following this process, and allowing them to learn how to be with them, it actually sets them up to be more intentional with the people and things around them. Now, it doesn’t mean that you can’t simultaneously work with your client to be showing up in their life and relationships in a new way. We just want to make sure that we’re not skipping over that important part of self-connection. The last thing with regard to teaching your client to be with the people and the things in their life, is spending time with your clients during your sessions, really helping them to visualize what they’re ultimately wanting, and connect with that outcome, in their mind, with their emotions, and really, with all of their intentions. What I want to offer all of you today, as you walk away from this podcast, and you go out to coach your amazing clients, is that when you can first set the stage, by being with your client and teaching them what that feels like to be with them, it will actually set them up to be able to start giving themselves that same space to be with them. And that foundation right there is the best possible foundation for them to show up in their life, for the people at the job, for the kids everywher, in the most powerful way and most likely the way that they really want to. All right, Coach, this is what I’ve got for you get to work, go change the world, and I’ll see you all next week. Outro: Thanks for listening to The Masterful Coach podcast. You can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com, for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. To find out more about Molly, you can visit www.mollyclaire.com.