Intro: Welcome to the masterful coach podcast with Molly Claire. If you're a coach who's ready to impact more lives, make more money and create a life you love, you're in exactly the right place. Get the support you deserve as a female entrepreneur. Master your coaching skills, grow your ideal business, and honor your priorities in your personal life. Are you in? Let's get started with your host, best selling author and master life and business coach, Molly Clare. Molly Claire: Hey coach, today's episode is very different than what you are used to hearing on the podcast, but this is a topic that is important to address and bring up to the forefront of conversations. I'm interviewing Karla Hernandez and her husband, Gerald Ericksen, as they share a little about their cause, VIVO Alliance. Karla was the victim of a violent sexual assault a few years ago, and it was incredibly disheartening, to say the least, as they realized how powerless they were to actually advocate for change and to get justice in this situation. Karla and Gerald have been living in Puerto Rico for the last five years, which is where Karla is originally from, and so they are really moving this cause forward, as this is a big widespread problem in Puerto Rico. There are so many victims of all ages, of all genders, and they are really standing up to make a change. I wanted to interview them for a few reasons. First and foremost, as you will hear on this episode, Karla is such a great example of a woman who is so brave, so courageous, and so determined to make a change in the world. She is speaking up and she is speaking out and creating a space where other women can do the same. She is just such an example of championing change and I just, I love everything about her soul. Her husband, Gerald, happens to be my cousin. We grew up together. I babysat him so much. And it's just a really great connection. I'm so happy to be connected with both of them and so honored to be able to support this really important cause. So this is a bit more serious topic, but I encourage you to listen, tune in, hear about their experience. And my hope is that you will be inspired to continue to move for positive change in the world and to speak up and to speak out around things that matter to you. All right, coach, let's go ahead and dive in. Okay. Karla and Gerald, welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy to have you here. Karla Hernandez: We're very happy to be here with you. Gerald Erikson: Thanks for having us. Molly Claire: Thank you. I'm so excited about the cause that you've gotten behind, that you're moving forward, and just you sharing your personal experience. So those of you listening, you're in the coaching world, right? You're building your business. And all of you really have a mission to help people improve their lives. And I think that it goes without saying that usually the clients we're working with have had things in their life, pretty significant things, that have held them back. And so that's why I felt like just your story and the more women that can hear your story and can understand that there's healing and possibility, the better. So I'm excited to have you share. Okay, so Karla, tell us a little bit about what happened to you that really started you, you know, moving this movement, this cause, forward? Karla Hernandez: So it's a very long story, but I'm gonna tell it to you in a little bit of a nutshell. So in December of 2020, we were doing, they call it internal tourism. We lived in Puerto Rico - we've been living there for the past five years - and we love going to different parts of the island. And there was one of the incidents where I was walking in the beach and I got surprise attack and sexually assaulted by a strange man. So yeah, that was, an aspect of what happened to me. But then after that, the whole criminal process from when you file a police report to dealing with the justice system, just all of those things, roadblock after roadblock. And that kind of led us down the path of understanding that there's a big problem, that is kind of... I mean, people can see it, but nobody's really talking about it. And more than that is not being addressed because it's kind of an issue that first of all is very taboo, but second, it requires a lot of understanding. Molly Claire: Yeah. So there's almost like, as you're talking, there's so much to it, but there's this piece of what happened to you personally and how that must have impacted you just to have that experience of being attacked and assaulted. And then it's like part two is trying to get some justice and correct that and ensure it doesn't happen to other women. And I would imagine there's a lot of pain and healing in both of those areas. Yeah, Karla Hernandez: Yes. Molly Claire: I know these are such personal questions, but I know you also are, you're here because you're willing to speak out, right? How did this impact you personally, having experienced this just really unexpectedly? Karla Hernandez: So, a situation like that, an incident like that, completely distorts your concept of reality. It's obviously a little bit hard to put into words, but, the concept you had about yourself and about daily life and existence in general, going all the way to questioning God. You know, everything. Everything is completely, completely distorted. So that's from the standpoint of the incident itself. Molly Claire: Yeah Karla Hernandez: But then you have the other element, which was that you're willing to do everything possible to get justice for that. And not getting it kind of leaves you in a state of feeling like you're frozen in time. Yeah, which it's almost like you never get closure. So the trauma, the pain, the suffering is something that, that kind of never ends because you live with it daily. And then you end up becoming familiar with it and just understanding how to basically navigate through life, just having all of those feelings, and learning to know who you are moving forward and rediscovering life as if you're a child. Molly Claire: Yeah. It's like, I mean, I would imagine, I haven't experienced that exactly. Yeah. I would, I know for me, when I have experienced challenging things that have really made me question myself and everything, that you kind of have to set up a new foundation almost, of who am I and finding a new inner strength, and that's kind of what I'm hearing you describe a little bit Karla Hernandez: Yes. Molly Claire: And Gerald, I can't imagine what this was like for you to know that this happened and I, what was it like for you? Gerald Erikson: Well, obviously it wasn't like being a victim, but it's really interesting to just have to, in the beginning, just deal with the shock and like the secondary trauma, I guess, of knowing that the person you care the most about had that happen to them. But I don't know. I feel like with the secondary stuff, with the justice system failing us and just being you as a husband and as a man, like, you want to do everything in your power to bring whoever it is to justice or find them. I obviously you want to like kill the person - I'm not, I would never do that - but it's like, those are your thoughts. You know, it's like. Molly Claire: Oh yeah, I'm sure. Gerald Erikson: And then you just rely on these people, assuming from my standpoint, you know, I know things are never perfect, but I came from the US. And I'm like, Oh, okay, well, the police will probably take care of it, you know, Molly Claire: Right. Justice will be done. There's no way something like this can happen and it can just be okay. Gerald Erikson: When it was such a clear cut case. Molly Claire: Yeah. Gerald Erikson: So anyways, for me, having to see and be on the side and just wait and watch as this thing just slowly deteriorated and didn't come to fruition. It was like, I don't know, that's one of the, that's probably the hardest thing I've ever experienced and almost drove me insane, but it's brought us closer together. That's for sure. Molly Claire: Yeah. I would imagine. I mean, I'd imagine both of you have felt quite a sense of powerlessness as you've been trying to make this better and make it right and get justice and yeah, Gerald Erikson: Yeah. And I would just say also, like you kind of had to face that moment where it was like, Oh man, this is either gonna destroy us, or we have to just sink or swim. And I feel like I'm grateful that we have done our best to swim. It's still, we're still swimming, but it's like, yeah, I don't know how people get through them. It's crazy. Yeah. Molly Claire: And sometimes it's like just maybe staying afloat sometime, right? Like, maybe it doesn't feel like we're quite swimming, but at least it's true, right? When you experience things that are that hard, and it feels like you're barely getting through it, I know that feeling of, how do people really get through this? Cause, it's I just, I can't imagine. And so I'd love to know, as you did move forward from this horrific incident, what problems specifically did you see that needed to change that have really called you to come forward and try to make changes? Karla Hernandez: Yes. So the whole issue of gender based violence and sexual assault, as I mentioned before, is a very difficult problem to address and understand, not only because it's taboo, but because it's a multidimensional problem. But based on our personal experience, what resonated with us the most was the lack of a voice or the lack of a legitimate voice that victims have in their criminal cases towards their asylums. And the lack of transparency and accountability within the justice system, that leaves enough room for cases like mine to be mismanaged and handled in a non ethical manner. Molly Claire: I mean, I can't imagine that it's been easy to step forward and speak up about it. But I don't know, maybe it's not easy staying silent either, right? Tell me about that choice that you have made, that you've both made, to speak up and move your cause forward to make things better. Karla Hernandez: It's a very interesting question you're asking. So when I first publicly told my story, it was under inconvenient circumstances. We were not backing down in wanting to move our case forward and wanting to get justice. They couldn't get rid of us and it got to the point where we started feeling threatened by the people that were managing our case. And my response to that was to publicly tell my story and talk about what was going on so that people knew what was happening. And it wouldn't stay behind closed doors and we could shine a light on a topic that most people are not really talking about. I mean, because one thing is to just speak and tell your story as to getting assaulted itself, but then speaking about how your case is being mismanaged and how you're being treated. So that led us to basically telling our story publicly. Molly Claire: Yeah. And it really is such a courageous thing. I mean, it really is. When you were talking and saying, "They couldn't get rid of us. We're not just going to stay silent." Good for you. And I think it's just, I think it's a reminder that we're all capable of doing that, right? Somewhere inside, we are capable of speaking up and standing up for something that needs to be changed and standing up for ourselves. You standing up for yourself and making a difference. So tell us more about your organization. Exactly. What is it and how can other people get involved? Gerald Erikson: It's basically just stems from all of that. We're trying to- I mean, obviously we're trying to support victims, and we are doing that in whatever way we can. But as she mentioned, our main focus is around this whole idea of lacking victims rights. We've come to realize that cases like hers, they're the norm. Like, you don't often see, like, from all the people we've talked to in the island, it's really, really common to find people that say, "Oh yeah, my daughter, or my friend, or somebody was sexually assaulted. We had this happen. That happened. We went to the police, we did everything we could..." It's just the systemic issue lies that we've found in the lack of victim's rights. People don't have the ability to really have a say in their case or follow up with it. The justice system just does what they want based on the current laws. And they can keep you behind closed doors. And it just leads to a lot of mismanagement, a lot of unethical behavior, a lot of just, yeah, basically everything we've talked about, but in many different ways. So our purpose right now is to just try to get a more firm grasp on what we can do about that by researching the laws, by researching statistics in the other states and in other countries to see if there's ways that we can put together a new sort of- take from everything that works and see how we can build something new in Puerto Rico. Molly Claire: Yeah. And I'd be curious to know, as you were talking about all of this, it's, I'd imagine at times it's felt like a pretty big undertaking, Karla Hernandez: Yeah, yes, but when you asked me the question about why I told my story, the result after that was that we had a great number of people reach out to us to tell us how they've gone through the same thing and how they never got justice. Women, men, mothers, and fathers with children. And so this is something that, from that standpoint, we've gotten a lot of support from people that want this to happen. They want to understand what laws and policies need to change based on what's going on and what's working in other states and other countries and how we can implement them in Puerto Rico. So that's kind of what we're tackling. There is a lot of support for victims rehabilitation right now. We are right now under a state, well, we were under a state of emergency that was called or declared by the Puerto Rico current governor to address gender-based violence. So, it's more of a lack of understanding of people not knowing what to do with this issue. Which is why, if we want to address something, we need to first understand it. And that's kind of our approach, and that's where we're coming from. And surprisingly, it's not just women, you know, it's men, it's mothers, it's fathers, it's just people in the government in general, that want somebody to basically take this approach that we need to know what's going on. Gerald Erikson: Yeah, I would just add that- so the way I kind of think about it is when you deal with the prevention aspect, you can see it as like a burning house, right? People want to figure out how to prevent fires. They want to figure out how to deal with it afterwards, how to put it out and how to clean it up. But it doesn't seem like there's a lot of focus on the actual burning aspect of the house. Like, I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah. Before it's been our observation, at least through our experience, it's just a lot of emphasis on prevention and a lot of emphasis on how to help victims afterwards. But in the process of actually trying to get your case handled in a simple manner, it's just kind of ignored. Karla Hernandez: Yeah, that's the problem, or the issue that is not being addressed, how all those cases are being managed and handled. As opposed to the, like Gerald says, the burning house, let's figure out how to prevent the fire from happening, which is... It's a big, big problem that may take multiple generations to address, in my opinion. And also victim rehabilitations, which means how to clean the ashes appropriately once the house burned down. But in the meantime, there's this big black hole that people are just not even taking into consideration. Molly Claire: Not to mention that I would think that black hole is a part of prevention and recovery after, right? I mean, that's the thing, is they're not without impact on one another. Because I would imagine if cases are handled better, that's going to impact the prevention and if cases are handled better, I would imagine that's going to give victims, I mean, so much in terms of being able to recover and heal Gerald Erikson: Yeah. Yeah. And I think, in my opinion, a lot of it also, I'm not trying to throw all the blame on the government, even though there is a huge aspect there that we're trying to deal with. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that it's so hard to tell your story. It's so hard to muster the courage to even go to the police. Karla Hernandez: File a police report. Gerald Erikson: So therefore, you know, people do that and then- Molly Claire: Can I stop you for a minute? And tell me more about exactly the reasons why. Because there could be a lot of reasons why, right? Why is it hard to tell the story? Because of the shame and it's taboo or because of pushback fear? Tell me a little more about that. Karla Hernandez: So when it comes to, like Gerald mentioned, something as simple as filing a police report, telling your friends, family, community, what happened to you, it takes a lot of courage because obviously, this is a shameful thing. It's a very, very taboo topic. Gerald Erikson: It shouldn't be, but that's Karla Hernandez: It is. Yes. So then there are a lot of people that want justice and that are willing to do that. And then it's basically for nothing. Gerald Erikson: I would say it stems from what you just said, Molly. Where it's likem in the island, at least people are aware of how negligent the justice system is. So it's like, they already, there's the societal aspect where they feel held back because of shame or judgment or all of that, but they also know Karla Hernandez: That's how things are. Gerald Erikson: likely that they're not going to get justice. So there's multiple layers. Karla Hernandez: The collective attitude is, what's the point? There's nothing that can be done about it. And then that becomes a virus that leaks into everything. You know, it leaks into the communities, it leaks into families. I've had so many people share their stories with me as to like, not even getting support from their families. And wanting to get justice, but it's because everybody knows that the likelihood of something happening from that is very slim. So then you're basically left, I mean- I would feel like the best way to describe, you're left naked in a stage and nothing happens. So people just say, "Okay, what's the point? I'll just try to do everything possible to, to hide what happened to me or to just forget about it." And then that, like I said, it's a virus, then it leaks into the support, all of the support and the nonprofits and everything that exists that focuses on the aspect of victim rehabilitation, where it's more, "Oh, how can I just move on, despite this happening? How can I move on, even though I didn't get justice?" And I would say that I was a victim of that, in terms that I wanted justice. I wanted to do everything possible for my case to move forward. I had, luckily, a wonderful husband that was validating that I wasn't crazy. And then the- Gerald Erikson: She even got discouraged by the local nonprofits sometimes. Karla Hernandez: And it was like, "Okay, your case is never going to go to court. You need to just work on how to move on with your life. Let us help you move on with your life and do other things that are not related to your case and getting justice. Let's just forget about that." Molly Claire: As you're talking - and I know Gerald, and you were saying something else too I want to hear what else you were going to say - when I cut in with this question, but as you're talking, it just it's like having this happen to you, I would imagine like, beyond a powerless feeling, violating, all of those things, and then to feel so powerless in your ability to do anything about it. And so it makes sense, if women are feeling powerless to do anything about it in the justice system, that they wouldn't want to speak up. Why would you want to make yourself vulnerable and really move that forward, if it's just going to reinforce this idea that, you don't really have any rights? What happened to you really doesn't matter. Gerald Erikson: Yeah, so one thing I've observed is, so for example, Karla, I feel like she's kind of an anomaly. I feel like In the beginning, I was very like, I mean, I've always been about this, you know, I've always been supportive, but I've questioned it. I'm like, "Man, how far are we going to go with this? You know, like, what do we got to do?" Like, every step was a roadblock. But she wanted to just boom, boom, keep, keep going. And I'm like, all right, I guess we're going to keep going. We even tried to sue the government. That didn't go through because we didn't have a lawyer that would take our case. Karla Hernandez: Yeah, they were all too intimidated. Gerald Erikson: We had a legitimate case. But anyways, what I'm trying to say is, if someone is willing to do all that, but still come up against the brick wall, it's pretty crazy, the situation. I also noticed that it sort of creates this dynamic of either people feeling so helpless that they either get radical and turn to like the crazy protest side, which is okay, but it doesn't really accomplish anything at the end. And it creates the division- or they sort of stay quiet and just silently suffer. So that's where we're trying to sort of bridge that gap and just be like, this is something that affects everybody. We don't need to go, you know, far extreme. And I mean, we can protest obviously, but it's like, let's try to take this legitimately step by step and see how we can deconstruct it. Karla Hernandez: Let's go from the standpoint that nobody wants this to happen. Not even the government, not even the police, not even the justice department. It's just such an uncomfortable and complicated issue that, first of all, yeah, I mean, people don't think about it, not because they don't want to, but because they don't know what to do about it. Gerald Erikson: Obviously there's some pretty basic aspects to this, but it's like anything, that actually, once you dive deeper, it is complicated. People tend to just sort of tap out because it's hard. It's not an easy thing to address. But we're not pretending like we have the answer, but we're just saying like, this is a aspect of it that hasn't really been addressed and we really want to try to, so. Molly Claire: Yeah, I just- Karla, I'm sure you hear this a lot. And you probably should hear it even more, but you really are so courageous and just it's amazing to hear this and know everything that you're up against and you keep going. And I would love to know what you've seen as you've stood up and shared your story, how you've seen that impact other women, because I'm sure that it has even right now as you're speaking, right? Karla Hernandez: Well, when, like I mentioned before, when I decided to go public with my story, we did not know what that was going to lead us to. And the outcome was the great number of people that reach out to me and reach out to us to tell us that they've gone through the same thing and they really want change. They really want- even just something as simple as them telling me their story, I could feel how I was becoming a vehicle of healing to others and how through them telling their story in of itself was enough for them to embark on that healing process. Molly Claire: That's amazing. Just to think about that, just speaking up, just them hearing this from you was able to help them move forward. Karla Hernandez: And also understand that not all is lost. Even if for some people it's taken years for them to just feel like there's something that can be done, there's still hope. Not all is lost. It just takes a little bit of determination and not giving up. And it's been very interesting how I've seen people that are broken, that are sad, that are depressed ,and all of a sudden just grasping or grabbing on to that little bit of hope is enough for them to become allies and for them to say, we can play a part in making a change. And that in of itself is like, okay, well, the system failed us, everything failed us, everybody in my life failed me, but you developed your own hope. Molly Claire: Oh, I love that. Okay. Well, you're amazing. I so appreciate you being here. In a minute. I want you to tell people how they can support your cause, but first I would love for you to share, Karla, if anyone that's listening to this, that's experienced anything similar to this, what would you say to them? Karla Hernandez: I would say that you should never feel obligated to tell your story. But if you do, your story matters. And my story is not enough. You know, if we want to change, if we want this to change, it takes a lot of people who have gone through the same thing, affirming that there's a problem that needs to be addressed. And in doing so, we have your back. We are here for you and you are not alone. Molly Claire: And you've had a lot of women reach out to you just to share their story with you, Karla Hernandez: Yes Molly Claire: Okay, so another question I have for you, and then after that, I'll have you share anything else that you guys would like, but Karla and Gerald, or Gerald, whoever wants to answer this, what would you say to someone who has felt called to a cause, but been really fearful about stepping up? Karla Hernandez: So I can, from personal experience, and you can take it how you will, there are times when it's a lot easier to let go, not look back and forget. But to me, and to us personally, that it is not living a dignified and blessed life. In our case, was feeling that this is not just my story. This is the story of many people. And the fact that even if we feel like we're not doing a lot and we're not making a lot of progress, just putting your grain of salt into the world can be enough for you to make a difference. And that would be my advice, to take that into consideration that sometimes we think that even what we're doing is small and it could be insignificant, it's still something and it will resonate with the people that need to listen to your message and that need your support Molly Claire: I love it. That's so beautiful. Thank you so much. All right. Anything else that you would want to share? And also make sure to tell everyone where they can support your cause and help donate and move all of this important work forward. Gerald Erikson: Yeah, so basically, you can go to our website, vivoalliance.org. We have a pretty in depth breakdown of what we're trying to do. And we also have a crowdfunding campaign we're doing. We can, I don't know if we would post a link here or how we would do that, but yeah, we can share that link. Molly Claire: It'll be, it should be in the show notes. So go to the show notes and you can find it there. Yeah. Gerald Erikson: Yeah, exactly. So that's pretty much it right now. We have our Instagram page. That's where you can see a little bit about what we've done so far. But yeah, mostly just our website. That's got our plan, our outlook of what we're trying to do, and you can donate there. And then also the crowdfunding page Molly Claire: This is amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you, Karla, for being willing to share your story, and Gerald for being such a great husband. I like want to take a little bit of credit since I helped babysit you so much when you were little, Gerald Erikson: You can definitely take some. Molly Claire: I don't know if I can, but you guys are amazing and I just really appreciate you sharing this story. So thank you. Gerald Erikson: Thank you so much. Karla Hernandez: Thank you for having us. Gerald Erikson: We really appreciate it.

Intro: Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast. Are you ready to build your amazing business with Molly as your coach? Check out www. MollyClaire.com to find out about Masterful Coach Foundations and the 10K Accelerator Method. It's the ultimate support for you as a coach building your ideal life and business.