Intro: Welcome to the Masterful Coach Podcast with Molly Claire. If you're a coach who's ready to impact more lives, make more money, and create a life you love, you are in exactly the right place. Get the support you deserve as a female entrepreneur. Master your coaching skills, grow your ideal business, and to honor your priorities in your personal life. Are you in? Let's get started with your host, bestselling author, and master life and business coach, Molly Claire. Molly Claire: Hey, coach. It is an honor to introduce you to Lindsay Poelman today. You're going to love this interview for so many reasons, partly because Lindsay's authenticity, and the love and care that she feels for people is so evident. And not only does Lindsay know her stuff when it comes to trauma and helping coaches become trauma informed, helping all walks of life become trauma informed. Not only does she know her stuff, she really sees it as a mission for her to spread this understanding. And I personally have worked with Lindsay. I did her trauma-informed program as a coach so that I could better serve my own clients. And Lindsay has also been an integral part of my personal healing, and I'm so thankful to know her. And just really grateful that she was willing to come and speak to all of you here today. Before we get started, if you have not yet registered, do not miss next week's live webinar. Listen, coaches, I have been getting ready for you for this fall. I have taken more bike rides. I had more walks, more downtime in the last couple of months than in a very long time, and I just am so fired up to help you be effective in your coaching, feel confident in your program, and just bring your work into the world. So next Monday, we're talking about how to really create a killer program that creates results. Creating curriculum and programs has been something, of course, that I've done since the beginning of my career nine years ago, and also really intensely worked with over the last seven years with coaches and with also doing contract work with it. And I just, I'm really excited to bring this to you on this webinar. All right, coaches, get ready for the amazing Lindsay Poelman. Alright coaches, I'm so excited to have Lindsay Poelman here with you today. Lindsay is a healer. She just has such a brilliant way of coaching and such unique gifts and I'm just can't wait for this conversation. So, hello Lindsay. Lindsay Poelman: Why am I already crying as I hear you say that? That's such a sweet thing to say. Thank you so much. Molly Claire: Well, you know, it's funny because, I wanna have you share, you know, what you do and why you love it and all of that. But the way you and I got connected is you were promoting for your advanced certification in relationship trauma, and trauma awareness, trauma informed, I can't remember exactly the name or whatever, but I kept seeing it and I was like, This is not good timing for me. This is, this is not the plan as to where I'm gonna spend money right now. This is not something I have time for. And I'm gonna do this because I kept seeing it and I'm like, something was calling me to it. And as it has unfolded, I have realized why it has been so perfect for me. So you just are such a, you and the work you do has such an important place for me, not only in my life, but in my work, and what I offer to my clients. So thank you again for being here to share what you do with everyone. Lindsay Poelman: Oh, of course. Yeah. So honored and thrilled to be here all day. Yeah. Molly Claire: Okay, so what do you do, Lindsay? Tell everyone who are you, what do you do? Lindsay Poelman: Who am I? Well, where do I, how much time do you have, Molly? So I am a life coach right now. I train coaches to become trauma informed, and so I have an advanced certification that Molly was just referring to. And then I have a life coach certification starting this fall for people who aren't coaches yet that want these trauma-informed skills, these advanced skills that need like the mindset base as well. 'Cause I was having clients go find a certification, then come back to me. But before that, and this might help people understand why I do the work that I do, before doing that, I was a betrayal trauma coach and I was my own avatar supporting women whose husband's looked at porn and I felt like from the get go, I always felt like I coached differently. And you know, as a less experienced coach, I just thought, well, it makes sense that I coach differently. And by differently I mean, like definitely have a deep foundation and emphasis on safety and empowerment and making sure our body feel safe, and leaning into our intuition. And it always felt a little bit different than a lot of the coaches that I was coaching or people that I was around. And I just thought, oh, it's because I'm supporting women who have been in betrayal trauma and experience that. So that's why. And then over time, which I'm sure that you understand where I'm going with this. Over time, what I started seeing is like, oh, this isn't just for women who specifically fit this little paradigm or fit within this container. Like, everyone is carrying trauma. A lot of people have experienced a lot of this stuff to similar degrees. I was just seeing parallels with every single niche with different coaches that I coached. And from that point I just realized like how essential it is for coaches to understand and have enough awareness of the human body so that we can support our clients, and support ourselves in our own healing from a really loving, open, curious, calm, natural, organic way. Versus like, using our thought work, thought work, thought work to overwrite our bodies. Molly Claire: Yes. Lindsay Poelman: And you know, I would just say I love it because, it's this work, like when you can help people soothe and calm their nervous system using a top-down or a bottom-up approach that gives us access to our soul, and our intuitive calls, and our creativity, so then we can live more, feel safe enough to live in that space versus, something else. Molly Claire: Yes. I love all of that so much because, I have trained coaches for six of the years that I've had my business and I've seen how challenging it can be for new coaches when they're learning the cognitive model where it really is the top-down, which is super valuable. And I actually am a big believer that it's valuable to really learn that method very well and very clean. But when I would have coaches that would say like, almost wanting to really expand that and really take into account some of the things you're really talking about, some of the more, the nuances, some of the softening of places to really create a safe space for that. I have learned over time how to, I guess, how to make space for that. Because I think it is true that when people are becoming a new coach, they, although you didn't say this actually, but sometimes they think, oh, I'm coaching different, I'm coaching wrong. I just need to be better at like coaching that way. But it's actually not true because I think everyone's gifts and some of their intuitive gifts and abilities really come through. And that's really what it was for you is that you had this, I don't know what I'll call it, kind of this knowing about how important that safety was, and that there was so much more to it than the cognitive. Lindsay Poelman: And it's like we can use the cognitive stuff to support safety. But sometimes we also need to like dial into the safety to even unlock the cognitive, right? It's different for everybody. And just recognizing too, this work to me is so much about helping people develop and live into this idea that we're all our own modalities, right? When we can support coaches or support clients in a way that helps them lean into that and feel safe enough, it's magic happens. Because for some people, they do lean more heavily into that cognitive thought style and they need that linearity long enough to feel safe enough to go in. And for others it's, it's different, right? And so just being aware that it can be different can help us all support humanity, because if we're different, right? Molly Claire: Yes. Yes. And I love that you were pointing out that you thought it was just because of this niche that you are working with? And I mean, how true is that? Because I coach women in their businesses. Like, oh, well that's certainly not a place where you wanna hold this safe space for trauma, but a hundred percent it is. Most of the work I do, like we do strategy and we do cognitive work, but most of our time is really spent like connecting with self because, come on. Like, talk about a big deal and a scary thing, building a business. And it brings up so many big things. And I think if we don't realize that we need to have safety in that, we're missing a boat. And I think people end up, to your point, trying to override the nervous system or just frustrated that they're not, moving forward faster because they have some emotions and a nervous system that need to be attended to. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah, for sure. And it just makes so much sense, right? When you're starting a business and choosing to live from this somewhat unseen space in your life - maybe seen in your community, whatever - but, from being relatively unseen to this very seen place. It brings up just so much stuff. And just due to like our own socialization. But also, if you look back just a couple centuries, women who were killed for living from their intuition. And so, it just makes sense that doing big things as a human can bring up a lot of stuff. And so if you can find a business coach like Molly that sees that and can support you in that, it's really important. And that's why no matter what place you're in, our body, it knows when to bring stuff up. Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Sometimes we wish it wouldn't, but it does. I love what you brought up, Lindsay, because I don't think a lot of people realize how much like trauma can be inherited and how also, our DNA, like, those experiences of our ancestors. They're still with us. And so, ways that women were mistreated or diminished or silenced. We still have some of that in us. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah. Yeah. Like it can last for seven generations. Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah. Lindsay Poelman: You know, those, what is it? The Jane Austen movies where women are getting married just because they don't wanna be a burden to their parents and things like that because they know they can't work. Like, that was just, that was pretty recent. Molly Claire: Yeah. So I wanna pause because those of you listening. As you are building your business and you are struggling in many ways, feeling stuck, feeling frozen, wishing that you could just change your thoughts, wishing that you, you know, weren't so bad at doing this thing called building a business, because if you're having big emotions, you must not be willing to just push through or get over it, right? All of this is very normal. Building a business and believing that you can make money, being seen, believing that you can succeed in ways that we've been really socialized to believe that we can't. It's a big deal. What you're experiencing is normal and it doesn't mean that you can't overcome all of it and do exactly what you want with your business and your life. So this is like my PSA to all of you listening. Yeah. Lindsay Poelman: So I like- chills, just as I think about it. Because your desire is there, everyone, because it's possible. Desire is there because it's possible. And my approach too, with healing from trauma is really, it's very forward facing where we, why not go for the life that we want in whatever way, and just trust that our body knows when to bring up what at certain times. And so I wouldn't be surprised if that's why you see it as someone who supports business owners, right? Because they're moving towards something that they want. Yeah, of course it's gonna bring stuff. Molly Claire: Of course it brings it up. I wanna ask you this question, and I don't know if this is the right word to use, but you can answer it in any way that seems authentic. Because a lot of you definitely are trauma aware, right? You work with healing and you do a lot of intuitive work. I would consider you very much, like, part of what you do is being an intuitive coach. Would you agree with that? Does that word land for you? Lindsay Poelman: Yeah, of course. Molly Claire: Yeah. So how do you see that intuitive work blending with the cognitive work? What does that even look like? Lindsay Poelman: Yeah. You know, the reason I love the intuitive side so much, Molly, is because it expands the cognitive work. Molly Claire: Hundred percent. Lindsay Poelman: So if we only rely on cognition component and what is rational and linear and that we can analyze, it's actually pretty limiting. We end up, a lot of times, staying out of our bodies and being more externally focused, externally aware, seeing how other people are doing things, and analyzing. When, I think for me personally, I think our creative power lies deep within ourselves. And so when we can do blend the cognitive and the nervous system in such a way that we have that clear access to our intuition, so much can just be or unlocked naturally, organically with ease. That's where I feel like the manifestation. If you guys hear people talk about manifestation, you're like, "What? I don't get it. Like, I try blah, blah, blah." I think a lot of that can come when we're living aligned or even just connected to our intuition. It's, to me, it provides for a life that's more expansive than we have the capacity to dream of in this moment. And then as we keep leaning on that intuition, every time we make a decision that's in that space or aligned, not that we have to do it perfectly. And I'll tell you, there are plenty of times where you get a call from your intuition, and you can also have it be like a "not yet" and still be connected, right? So it's on the inside that we have. But every time we do shift or pivot, as we listen to these parts, it just, the possibilities to me just keep compounding and magnifying, and they're endless really. Molly Claire: Yeah, and I wanna speak to that a little bit. And I mean, some of this is just my experience. So maybe this won't be everyone's, but you know, as Lindsay was talking, I think it can sometimes sound really good to like go inside and lean on that intuition and have that ease. And it's like this beautiful unlocking. And yet, I know I can say for me that it has felt very foreign and I think a lot of people listening because we are so trained to just go to cognitive, be logical. Which isn't a bad thing, again. But I think that it's like - I'm gonna speak out of both sides of my mouth on this, because I know for me, the more that I started leaning into listening to my body and paying attention to that with a lot of the work that I've done, with Melanie, who's been on the podcast and so much of the work, Lindsay, that you and I have done, where that's where you always tell me to go. And it's been so foreign to me. So I just wanna point out to all of you that even though this sounds nice, it might also seem very foreign and uncomfortable. But what I've noticed, Lindsay, and I'm curious to know if you see this, if you get this feedback from your clients as well. That the more you and I have spent the time helping me to go there - and I don't even, I don't even know how to explain go there other than to my body - that there actually is more of a safety and a certainty and a grounding in the decisions and clarity that come from my intuition. Does that make sense? It's almost like, okay, this is really scary. Okay. How can I rely on my feelings or my intuition? Can I really trust me? So it's a scary thing at first. And it seems safer to be very logical and think through everything and kind of ignore what we're feeling. But yet, the more we've moved to tapping into that, I feel more safe and clear in my decisions and there's not as much doubt. Does this make sense? Hopefully we haven't lost the audience. Lindsay Poelman: 80, like I'm guessing like 85% of the people are listening are like, Yes. Yes. Yes. It happens to me, too. Yeah, and it makes sense, right? Because yeah, from birth, my opinion or belief is that we come to this earth connected to our intuition and to our intuitive selves. But from birth, if you've grown up in western culture, western society, it's likely that a lot of that has just been like systemically, systematically stripped from you, that connection itself. They say around age four, five, that's where, even if not younger, kids are starting to pay more attention out here than in here. Molly Claire: Yes, yes. Lindsay Poelman: So I like to think of it- it can feel foreign and it can feel scary. And I like to think of the natural flow of it to be more of a returning, than like a, figure out how to develop out this little muscle here. And so I like to have that returning energy. Like, we're just coming back, but it's so paramount. And I think it's so natural for me to support my clients as they do this, no matter what their niche is. Because what I realized with my betrayal trauma clients that I used to coach - and I guess I still have a little program that I do for them - but what I realized very early on is like, if we can get them to keep returning to themselves returning inward, and leaning there, then whether they're being lied to or not, their body knows. Knows it can pick up on what they need no matter what, like the external world is presenting. And so we can, of course, take into account information that comes in. But then again, just making sure we know how to tease out the stuff that isn't serving our sustainability or life purpose versus like what our intuition- Molly Claire: Yeah, so those of you listening, I wanna just offer up, this is something that works for me. And maybe Lindsay could add something to this as well. Because I think, Lindsay, you brought up a great point about everyone, like different modalities, like for different people, even at different times, right? All that kind of stuff. But if you're listening and you're like, okay, well this sounds really great, like a returning to me, how do I do this kind of thing? I can just say for me that when I put my hands like on my chest and I just- it's almost like I close my eyes and it's just this moment of reconnecting with me. And it feels like it settles all the moving emotions, or whatever. It settles them, and I'm able to have some clarity. I think that can be one way that people listening that are like, well, this sounds really great, but I don't even know where to be begin can be one option. Do you have anything to add to that, Lindsay? Lindsay Poelman: Yeah, there's so many different ways. But, yeah. Another thing you could do is, again, what Molly was doing. Sometimes closing your eyes helps because like 80% of our sensory experience comes through our eyeballs. So sometimes closing our eyes can be helpful, but if that doesn't feel safe to you, you don't need to do it. Also, sometimes I'll just ask like, "What do you know?" They're like, "He's telling me this. She's telling me this, this, this happened, this happened. He just did this. This just happened." And like, what do you know? What do you know? And just ask that kind of to yourself repetitively. Sometimes that can really help you just dial in to what you know. And sometimes even before that, it's like, how can you get to safety? And Molly was just operating that idea, that self-soothing technique of putting one hand on your chest, one hand on your belly, and really taking care of yourself. So really just soothing yourself. If you think about the way that you would soothe your child or a niece or a nephew, like so much of that is, it's given so freely to children. Molly Claire: Hopefully. Right. Lindsay Poelman: Exactly. I think we generally think that, and so again, it's like, how can I offer those simple connecting, restorative like things to myself? Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah. And rocking. Like, a kid who needs to go but be up in a tree by themselves for half hour. How you make sure that you're finding safety for yourself. Molly Claire: Yeah. And the other thing I wanna offer up to all of you listening, when Lindsay was talking about how that self connection and being with that intuitive part of you that it allows you to not really be thinking as much about everyone else and everything going on around you. And I think this is such a good point because I think as especially cognitive focused coaches, we can really beat this dead horse of like, "get out of everyone else's head" and "you can't change what's going on around you can only change you". And it's almost like we can kind of tell ourselves how stupid it is that we're thinking about everyone else and trying to control everyone else. So stop trying to control everyone. But guess what? That's not really helpful, right? It's kind of like, "Okay, well, why are we trying to control everyone or everything or in the business of everyone else?" It's because we're trying to feel safe. And so if any of you have ever found yourself, not that I would ever be focused on everyone or everything around me, except like, all the time when I'm like, "Lindsay, let's have a session". And I'm, you know, I'm doing that. But what I wanna say to you is, obviously we're all doing that sometimes, right? Obviously we are. And what I wanna offer you is try this instead when you notice yourself, potentially seeing that you're in everyone else's business, or you're focusing on what everyone else is doing, and you wanna make sure that you're paying attention to what you have a say in, which is you, instead of trying to beat yourself into submission, just connect with yourself. What do, like what Lindsay was saying, what do I know? Or what do I need? Or what's going on for me? And I think that can be such a powerful way to shift that paradigm for us. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah. And it's like, you know, I had a client asking me a week or two ago, like, "Okay, Lindsay, when was your turning point?" And I was like, I mean personal life, like what does she mean? Anyway, but she was kind of asking a little bit more about my business, even though I feel like there's so much overlap. Things really shifted for me when I really just decided to stop paying attention to what everybody else was doing and do things my way. And I remember even like, when I started talking about my advanced certification. With respect to the circles I was in, no one was talking about how essential it's to be trauma informed. I would say, within about six months, it was like everywhere. But I felt like the only person at that time, the first time I launched. And so, it was just one of those things where it was like, I'd had the idea from the time I went through life coach school. Like I already, it had been on my vision board, but it wasn't until I just really practiced redirecting. Because for me, I did so much learning and internalizing as a child through watching, there was less teaching happening in my home. And so for me that's how I was learning. And that did feel safe, and it was very survival for me to do to a certain point. And I would say, even when I first started my business, there was more of that happening just because that was kind of a natural way that what had been modeled to me. And also like, not just what had been modeled to me, but also what had been conditioned into me. Because, again, being externally focused is a way to keep us out of our power center. And so, using the cognitive work and the mindset work to redirect ,using the mindset and the cognitive work to know when I needed to self-soothe so that I could actually listen to my intuition and follow those calls and feel safe enough while following those calls. Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Lindsay Poelman: I don't wanna say like, I live this magical life with no more fear. That's not the case at all. I'm still a human, but I think things can be so much more flowy and not like robotic when we're living from that place, if that's what you're looking for, not everybody's looking for that. Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah, and I know that in my work with you, I feel more deeply settled than I ever have in my life. I mean, honestly, it's, I mean, what a gift, right? Like, what a gift. We try so hard to be grounded and to be settled. And again, not that I'm always in this like calm, you know - which I don't even think is the goal, to just be like calm all the time. But it's a deep peace unsettling, which is really amazing. So I do think that this work matters and it does change your quality of life when you feel that way. Lindsay Poelman: And I think it really supports us in protracting positive emotions as well. When we can like, move through the emotions that maybe aren't as pleasant. Like, the learning, the ability to access that and move through those can really help us access those ones that we all dream of having. You know, experience joy and ecstasy from a subtle place. Versus like experiencing joy and being like, oh, it's gonna pass. When's the shoe gonna drop? Molly Claire: Yes. Yeah, such a good point. Okay, so I wanna wrap up here, and then of course we'll have all the information about Lindsay in the show notes. In a minute I'm gonna have Lindsay share where you can find her and of course, any last words of wisdom. But one last thing I wanted to ask you before we do that is, I know I've heard recently from you talking about really how everybody really could benefit from being trauma informed. Not just coaches, but everybody, because it is everywhere. And just tell us a little bit about that. About your stance on that. Yeah. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah, I mean, my vision, and I know it sounds bold, but why not have a nice, big, bold vision? My vision, it really is for every human to be trauma informed. And I'm gonna get emotional again. But when I imagine a world where everyone is trauma informed, I see systems of oppression dissolving. I see abuse victims reaching out to their families and being supported. I see so many, so many problems ending if we just understood the human body and how things worked and behaviors and things like that. And I think so much more healing would be happening in families. And I think there'd be just so much less confusion around things that actually are divisive that people say aren't divisive and things like that. And so, yeah, I see countries being run differently. I just see like a new world. And I really do feel, Molly, and maybe, I don't know, you have to tell me what you think, but I really do feel like our world is on the cusp of some real evolution. And I think being trauma informed, like, collectively people are ready for it and people need it. And I think as a coach, I wanna make sure that we're matching what the world is in need of. And some people even say, because we do kind of collectively evolve as time goes on. And there were times, there have been so many times in the world where it's just been living in survival, like generally people more in that space. But we're elevating the space of consciousness where I do think people are ready to look at skeletons in the closet and have support in that, instead of having skeletons in the closet thrown on them and not having support. And so yeah, I think the world is ready for it. And I wanna help as many coaches become trauma-informed to be able to support the people that are ready for it. And I really just do see it as like healing the world. Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah. There we go. So beautiful. I mean, and I think it's true, it brings greater understanding for each of us, for ourselves, right? Why we do what we do, or why we feel what we feel, understanding of others. And I agree. It is fascinating how collectively we evolve and I think that the world is ready. I think there have been a lot, just so many significant changes just over the last few years. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah, and the more people that we can support in being trauma informed, the more we can really teach people the techniques of soothing the nervous system, and supporting the nervous system, so that we can live from our intuition. Which is, again, when we talk about evolution, like our ideas, our creativity, that's all coming from that same part of our body. So that's another reason why I feel like it's so important and paramount, because I think we have all the answers that we need to shift the direction of where some people say the earth is going. I don't, I'm not actually concerned as much about that as other people, because I feel like we all have the answers. And so the more people we can get leaning into their ideas, trusting their ideas, trusting themselves, the more I just see everything happening that a lot of people wanna see. Molly Claire: I love it. All right, Lindsay, any final words before you share where people can find you? Any advice? I mean, that pretty much summed it up. You just like dropped this beautiful thing, but I don't wanna skip over giving you a few moments for last words. Lindsay Poelman: Yeah. No. I mean, we touched on this earlier, but any desire that you have is there because it's possible. Everything that you are wanting in your life, you are worthy of that. It's there because it's possible and there doesn't need to be a morality code tied to something that you want. You can want something because you want it and and it's very likely in, if it's aligned with yourself and with your body and whatever reason, it probably will. My opinion is that it will support the collective when you're honoring yourself and your needs and your wants. That does support society. And so, it's not selfish to act on the things that you want because you bettering yourself is bettering society. Molly Claire: I love it. All right, Lindsay, where can everyone find you? Lindsay Poelman: You can find me at LindsayPoelmancoaching.com. And I have a few certification programs that I run there and a few little online programs that I run there as well that I'm just really excited about. And they're all trauma-informed programs. So whether you're a coach that wants to become trauma-informed or you want to become a coach, but also with trauma-informed mindset support, or if you have some other healing to do, with respect to like my other programs, that's gonna come through in every program. So Molly Claire: Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. All right. Thank you so much for your time, Lindsay. It's been so great to talk with you. Lindsay Poelman: Yes, ditto. And thank you for all the work that you're doing too, for all the people that you support. So much good I know is happening over there in your business, because I hear it from people that I work with and I just, I love the work. Molly Claire: Thank you. I love it. I love my clients. We love our clients, don't we? We love the people. All the people. Yes. Yeah.

Intro: Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast. Are you ready to build your amazing business with Molly as your coach? Check out www.mollyclaire.com to find out about Masterful Coach Foundations and the 10K Accelerator Method. It's the ultimate support for you as a coach, building your ideal life and business.