Molly Claire 00:45

Welcome coaches. I'm so thrilled to have Midore Takata here with you. Not only is she one of my master certified coaches, but she also is in my mentorship program right now, which means that I have been able to experience working with Midore up close and personal. And you are going to love hearing from Midore. Midore brings so many unique gifts as a coach. She specializes in helping high achieving women who are dealing with burnout. And here's the thing. It's burnout that even they don't recognize as burnout sometimes. So we're going to talk more about this today. You're going to hear from Midore about what burnout looks like, how we recognize it, and really we're going to get a closer look into how Midore as a highly skilled master coach with this holistic perspective, how she supports her clients, I know you're going to learn a ton from this and of course, you're going to fall in love with Midore. Welcome to the show Midore. How are you? 

Midore Takada 01:53

Great. Thank you, Molly, for having me as your guest. And I'm so excited to be here. 

Molly Claire 02:00

Every day that I come to my desk, I am just pinching myself that we get to do this kind of work with people, right? Helping improve the quality of life of human beings and the ripple effect that it has. 

Midore Takada 02:12

Mm hmm. Yeah, absolutely. 

Molly Claire 02:14

So tell everyone a little bit about you, about your coaching business. Yes. 

Midore Takada 02:18

So, I'm Midore Takada. I am a trauma-informed, master-certified life coach with over 25 years of experience in architecture, design, and construction. Now I specialize in helping career-driven women in midlife who feel stuck, overwhelmed, and burned out, including those navigating professional exam prep while balancing demanding careers and personal responsibilities. 

Molly Claire 02:50

Yes, yes, I love the perspective that you bring given all that you experienced in your career and now here we are, right? All of us learning those things we wish we knew way back then. We wish we knew then, right? But of course we know that we had to go through what we did in order to really get it, right? And in order to appreciate the skills that we now have to better navigate our lives. So as we start this interview, I know those of you listening, we hear about burnout a lot, right? We hear about high achievers experiencing burnout, but we're going to talk really specifically about what this means because I think burnout is a major issue and I definitely can relate to being someone who is an achiever, who is ambitious and not really seeing the burnout for what it was and certainly not seeing it coming, right? Because I think as women who are high achieving and I think women in general were used to taking so much on, we just keep going and going and we don't realize what's really happening underneath for us. 

Midore Takada 04:01

Mm hmm. Yeah. 

Molly Claire 04:01

So, Midore, how does burnout really show up differently for career-driven women, for highly ambitious women? 

Midore Takada 04:10

Yeah, burnout for high achieving women doesn't always look like total collapse. It often disguises itself as over-functioning. Those women are still showing up, delivering results and handling it all. But internally, they are running on fumes. 

Molly Claire 04:28

Oh my gosh. Yes. I'm just going to jump in here as you were saying that because Midore, I always, I think back to this time in my life. It's this time I remember I was beyond spread thin and had some pretty significant things going on. And you see, there's like a family picture taken at that time. And do you know what I look like Midore? I've got a big smile on my face. And I just, I look like I'm on top of the world. And the thing is I was genuinely feeling those emotions with my family, right? It's not like I was just putting on a happy face. But my point is that we can mask it really well, even when we're not pretending, but we're just, we're just holding it together, right? So I think it's such a good thing to bring up. Yeah. 

Midore Takada 05:14

And instead of slowing down, we push harder and dismiss the exhaustion as just needing another coffee or better time management. And you know, but deep down, they start feeling disconnected from their work, get irritable, unmotivated and emotionally drained, even if they are still achieving on the surface. 

Molly Claire 05:41

Mm hmm. Yes. I think that, you know, as Midore was talking, especially what stood out to me about what you said was, oh, we just need better time management, right? And this is one of the things that I'll speak to, of course, in Master Coach training, right, that we talk about where it's like, we have certain tools that we use within time management that we learn in Master Coach training and that all of you use. But we also talk about what about energy management? What about understanding, right? What our needs are. What our nervous system needs, right? What our emotional life needs. And so I love all of this that you brought up. And I want like those of you listening, if you relate to being a high achiever, very career driven, do you find yourself relating to what Midore says, pushing harder, thinking, well, I just need another coffee, or I just need to manage my time better. And if this is you, like, I'm so glad you're here, because it's important to do a check in right and see what's really going on. Okay, so how about this Midore? What are some subtle signs of burnout that we as achieving women should watch for before we hit the total exhaustion because I've been there too, right? I think it does get to that point. And I think sometimes it seems to come on suddenly, I can say that's the case for me, when in retrospect, right, I can see that there were subtle signs. So what are the subtle signs to look for? 

Midore Takada 07:08

Yeah, the subtle signs to look for would be feeling off, but can't really point out why. And work that once you were really excited about, now you feel is draining. And then another one, brain fog and forgetfulness. So you're making mistakes you don't normally do. Resentment creeps in and even small tasks, that feeling like a burden and over committing without thinking. So you're just saying yes automatically, even when overwhelmed and emotional numbness, you just get through the day instead of actually feeling present. 

Molly Claire 07:58

I love that you're highlighting these because how many people experience this and just think well, this is just normal, right? It's normal to get bored with my work. It's normal that maybe I'm not excited about it or they might think oh this means I need to change careers, which may not necessarily be true, right? 

Midore Takada 08:17

That's so true. 

Molly Claire 08:18

You know, and even as you were talking about, you know, resentment creeping in, for example, right, I go back to something you said a few minutes ago about high achieving women and burnout, not necessarily looking like total collapse, but looking like over functioning. And this is really that idea. And of course we go into this, these kinds of dynamics that we study in, in MCT as well. It's like, as women, we can be really good at over-functioning, which is actually an unhealthy thing for us to do, but we do it, right? We don't even realize it and we do it in the name of, well, I have to do this. I have to take care of everything. I have to just, this is what you're supposed to do to hold things together. And we don't realize when we've crossed over into that place, right? And then of course that resentment can creep in. 

Midore Takada 09:09

Yeah, so for a career driven woman, burnout doesn't scream, I can't do this anymore, but instead it whispers, why doesn't it feel as fulfilling as it used to? And that is the major red flag. 

Molly Claire 09:28

Mm hmm. Almost like sort of this sadness or a feeling of despair like my life hasn't turned out the way I want. And I think that, you know, as you're talking about these sort of subtle signs, right, or maybe red flags going on, how great would it be if we could recognize some of these signs along the way, right? And with a coach like you before hitting that total burnout. And what do you sometimes have clients come to you before they've reached that point just with these subtle signs? 

Midore Takada 10:03

Yes. And then when that happens, right, like small shifts in boundaries, self-care, and just shifting mindset can prevent the crash before it happens. 

Molly Claire 10:18

And then over time, really, when I think about all of this in the specific work you do and in the context of, you know, what we do in our community of master coaches where we're really advocating for such a high level of self-care and wellness, that ultimately, right, not only is this going to prevent a crash, but like Midore, as you're working with your clients, you're really helping them shift the way they engage in the world and what they expect of themselves, which doesn't just prevent a crash, but enhances an expansive quality of life going forward. 

Midore Takada 10:56

Mm-hmm. 

Molly Claire 10:57

Yeah, so we all know a lot of women just push through despite feeling drained, right? Despite feeling the pull of some of these things. I mean, what would you say is the real cost of that? And how can we break that cycle from your perspective? 

Midore Takada 11:16

Their real cost would be their health, their relationship, and their long-term career success. When women ignore burnout, they often end up in survival mode, operating on autopilot, and disconnected from their passion and, again, resenting the very work they once loved. And the cycle continues because high achievers don't want to feel weak by slowing down, but breaking free starts with giving yourself permission to rest, reset, and realign. 

Molly Claire 11:59

Yeah, I mean permission let's just pause on that for just a minute those of you listening How often do you give yourself permission? To attend to your emotional needs? How often do you give yourself permission? To rest, to take some extra time, to give yourself a little bit of space and quiet to nourish your soul. I think that you know Midore as you were talking about the real cost, right, you said relationships the success that they could potentially have long term. These are some pretty big costs, right? And I would add to this just their sense of well-being, their sense of fulfillment about life. Which is everything right if we don't have our health if we don't have good relationships. If we don't have that sense of being well and fulfilled, we're really missing out.

Midore Takada 13:01

Yeah, there's no joy in living in a world like that. 

Molly Claire 13:05

And that's the crazy thing, it's like we all go after things, we want to achieve something because we want that fulfillment, we want that joy, right? And then we can get so caught up in the thing or the destination where we're going and we end up sacrificing that joy and well-being along the way, which is the exact opposite of what we really want, it's the opposite. 

Midore Takada 13:30

Here's a shift, instead of asking how can I do more, you can ask yourself how can I do this in a way that sustains me in the long term. Rest is not the opposite of success, it allows you to sustain it. 

Molly Claire 13:52

I want to pause on this for a minute and this is why because oftentimes there's a conversation around this idea that wanting to achieve something or going after something almost doesn't matter. Almost like the key is to simply be happy with where you are and what you have and not think you need to go after something more or something else. I bring this up because I think this is an interesting topic because I agree that being joyful and grateful and just full of gratitude with what is present is vital in terms of our well-being, right? And I very much feel that way. It's like I could go like my day right now today, right? I have breakfast with my daughter. She's prepping for a test today at school. So, you know, we had a little extra time this morning and she had some things she packed for school. I'm going to go walking in my neighborhood today. It's a very normal neighborhood, right? There's trees. We've got the blue bonnets down the road. I'm at my job. Like today is a very normal and mundane day and I feel really satisfied. Like I love it. And I think that I know I'm going off on a little bit of a tangent. I'm going to bring this full circle because I think also oftentimes as high achieving women, we crave and thrive within growth, right? That growth, that going after something. And so I bring this up because I think sometimes we can think, well, if I'm experiencing burnout, if I'm pushing too much, then I just need to dial back what I want to achieve. And that's not necessarily true, right? It goes back to what you said, Midore, which is along the lines of how can I do this differently, right? In a way that sustains me. And I think that rest within that quest for that next level of what we're trying to create is the key to not only achieving what we want, creating what we want and sustaining what we want, but actually creating that fulfilled experience every step along the way, even before we get to that thing or that place, right? 

Midore Takada 16:17

Yeah, I totally agree. 

Molly Claire 16:20

Okay, so let's talk a little bit about why it is… because this can happen at many stages, right? It is pretty common. I think I've been talking a lot about this with some of my colleagues recently, how in midlife, there's something kind of that happens to us as women, right? It's like, we're kind of fed up with a few things. Maybe we're done people-pleasing. Maybe we want to be more honest and more authentic about who we are and how we feel, which I think is just an awesome, awesome experience. But tell us a little bit more about why from your perspective, is this something that often happens for women in midlife? 

Midore Takada 16:59

Yeah, midlife is a turning point. By this stage, many women have checked all the boxes, career, family, achievements, yet they're left wondering, is this actually the life I want? So the shift happens because external success no longer feels like enough. They realize they've been living by somebody else's definition of success, and their value evolved, but their career or lifestyle hasn't caught up. So instead of fearing this transition, I encourage my clients to embrace it as an opportunity to reinvention. And it's not about throwing everything away, but it's about realigning their life with what actually matters to them. 

Molly Claire 18:01

I love it. You know, and the other thing I was thinking as you were sharing all that is that I think it can also come about because it's almost like we can be so caught in the busyness of the checklist of the things that we think we're supposed to do that we don't even really make space to, to think about how we feel or what we want, right? We just like, I can say that for me, it's like, okay, here are the things that you do. And so I just put my head down and I start checking the box and doing all the things. And then it's like at a certain point, sometimes we have a minute to think, wait a minute, what's just happened to the first half of my life? Yeah, yeah, yes. Okay, so of course, one of the things you do with your clients is mindset work, of course. And I know you do a lot more than that. You work with the nervous system, you work with emotions, but as far as mindset, are there certain mindset shifts that you see or mindsets that are common in clients that are coming to you with this burnout? 

Midore Takada 19:05

Mm-hmm. Yes. So I have these top three traps. One is that I should be more grateful.

Molly Claire 19:16

I know that trap right? We hear that all the time.

Midore Takada 19:21

Yeah, feeling guilty for wanting more, even when they're unhappy. And another one is the it's too late belief. And I used to do that too, but thinking every invention is for younger people, which is completely wrong or false. And the fear of disappointing others by prioritizing external expectations over their own happiness. 

Molly Claire 19:55

Yeah, I mean, you know, as you're talking, I think how many of us I mean, we hear this all the time, right, as I'm working with my coaches, and helping them, of course, apply all this work to them first, right, and they're building their business. And these are common, we think, Oh, well, I shouldn't want more, I should be grateful for what I have, as if being grateful for what you have is only allowed if you don't want more, right? When it's like, well, maybe I am grateful and maybe I can be grateful and maybe I also want something, something more, something else. 

Midore Takada 20:29

I didn't mention, but I think another thing is that I have to do everything. I have to do it all. 

Molly Claire 20:37

Right, right. You know, I saw this fantastic quote this week, but it's just been on my mind ever since I saw it. And it says something along the lines of just because you have the capacity to do it doesn't mean you have to write capacity doesn't equal obligation. And I think that it can be a hard thing for us to learn as women. Okay, so when we think about women listening right here, your clients who are wanting that success, but they're wanting that success to also feel good, right? And they're wanting maybe a little more balance as women are facing this place and they're making this shift. What are some actionable things that you would suggest? Like what do you do with your clients to help them make the shift? 

Midore Takada 21:31

So I encourage my clients to clarify they’re non-negotiables, so ask what do you need to feel fulfilled, both personally and professionally, and set the energy-based boundaries. So say yes to what fuels you, and no to things that drain you. 

Molly Claire 22:02

Yeah, this is a huge one, right? Yeah, gosh, you know, we, of course, we dive into this in the energy management training in the program, right? It's like, okay, what are the things that are energizing you? And did you know that you can actually do more of those things? Did you know? 

Midore Takada 22:20

Yeah, that's always the eye-opening moment when we talk about the energy management part of this process and also redefining success. So shift from external validation to internal alignment. So when we do this, the getting deeper and finding what their core values are becomes a very vital tool for them to really access what that success means to them. 

Molly Claire 22:57

Yeah, I mean, it's like we don't take the time to pause and do those things often enough, right? Let's reevaluate. Let's check into our values, our priorities. Where are we using our energy and how do we want to shift that? And so I think that's one of the greatest gifts that we give our clients as a coach is a minute to say, let's pause. Let's evaluate. Let's see where you are. How did you get here? And where do you want to go? Mm-hmm. 

Midore Takada 23:24

So simple. Right. 

Molly Claire 23:26

And what's the most enjoyable way of getting there? Okay, I wanna ask you one more question before we wrap up. And that is, you know, of course, as a coach who approaches your client from more of this whole view, you're working with mindset, you also bring such a great understanding of the nervous system, right? Nervous system regulation and emotions. And so how does that come into play? When you talk about the role of, you know, self-reflection, looking at mindset beliefs, and also understanding how the nervous system fits in, what kind of tools do you use in that regard to help women get clarity? 

Midore Takada 24:09

When you're overwhelmed, your nervous system goes into survival mode, making it hard to think clearly using your prefrontal cortex, which is usually the executive, which is usually the part of your brain that is responsible for making decisions, prioritizing. But when you're overwhelmed, that part of the brain is not really functioning and you're just reacting. So the simple way to prepare yourself in that moment is to practice pausing before reacting and do some kind of a breath work or movement to regulate your stress level so you think more clearly. And you can always practice journaling that brings subconscious patterns to the surface. 

Molly Claire 25:18

This has been awesome, Midore, and I think that, you know, as you're talking about helping your clients to reprioritize, and we talk about some of these mindset shifts, what I love about this, because what I know about, you know, Midore, as you all are listening and getting to know her, is that, you know, she works so much with helping her clients also to regulate their nervous system, helping her clients to pause and do also some somatic work, because the truth is, you know, as coaches, we can help our clients achieve, we can help our clients reset patterns, but if we're only doing that by relying on a plan of action or shifting mindset, we're missing a huge piece of that, right? Like Midore, you know this, we're missing a huge piece of that. 

Midore Takada 26:04

Mm hmm. Yeah, I myself really benefited from having the knowledge of tapping and the nervous system regulation. And it's something really amazing you can experience with really listening to your body. And then it can really open a lot of doors for you to transform yourself. 

Molly Claire 26:33

Yes, yes. And I think I love that you said that because if we think about, you know, as we learn to achieve, as we learn to succeed, we learn to live in our head. We learn the opposite of paying attention to our body. We learn the opposite of that, right? We learn to be logical, just think, have a plan, achieve, figure out how you can do more, try to push through whatever your body's telling you, we learn the opposite. And so, you know, what I love Midore and what I know that you do with your clients is you're helping them to not only pause and think about where they want to go and think about how they want to think and think about their values and priorities, but you're actually helping them to feel into them as well, to listen to their bodies, to regulate their nervous system, to see what is it that my body is trying to tell me right now and how can I pay attention to it? And I think that's where the big shifts happen, right? That's where the big shifts happen. 

Midore Takada 27:33

Yeah, yeah, I can just talk about that from my own experience. That is a huge shift.

Molly Claire 27:42

Me too me too. And I think we all experience that in our program community too. Well, this has been awesome. Midore, I would love for you to share with my audience where they can find you or if they for themselves or if they know someone. Or by the way if you would like for Midore to come speak as well because Midore is really phenomenal with just really teaching this work. So how can people find you Midore? Where do they find you? 

Midore Takada 28:12

Yeah, you can find me at my website, www.midworitagata.com, and also at my Instagram. I share a lot of things we talked about here and LinkedIn if you're on that platform as well. 

Molly Claire 28:31

Yes. Perfect. You all need to go to her Instagram because in our, in our community, everyone's always like, did you see Midore's Instagram? It's so, it's just so calming. It invites such a stillness. And as Midore said, it's speaking to some of the things that she addressed here. So you definitely need to check it out. Midore, thank you so much for being here. This has been an awesome conversation. 

Midore Takada 28:53

Thank you so much, Molly. It was such a pleasure and honor to be here. 

Molly Claire 28:59

So great. Thank you all of you for being here this week and I'll talk with you next time. Bye.