Intro: Welcome to the Masterful Coach podcast, with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you’re ready to create a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you’re in the right place. And now your host, master coach instructor, Molly Claire. Molly Claire: Hey, Coach, let’s talk about some coaching mastery today. Are you ready? I always love talking about this. And today, specifically, I’m going to talk about you defining you as a coach, because every coach is going to be a little bit different. Of course, you’ll have varied tools and varied approaches. But even the way in which you use those tools is going to be unique to you. And that’s what I want to talk about, because coaches are a dime a dozen, and that doesn’t mean that you are not unique as a coach. So that’s what we’re going to focus on today. When I first started my coaching business, of course, I got certified, I got master certified, and I wanted to spend time training coaches. And I dove into that right away. And I really have always enjoyed this process of working with coaches up close and personal because as you as a coach, learn the coaching tools and concepts at a very deep level and have that understanding, not just at a conceptual level, but really understand it internally, that’s when you are able, in my view, to be able to take those tools and truly make them your own. And I want to talk about that today. This is something I’ve been working on incorporating into my advanced certification that I’m wrapping up this week. I am so excited about this. I have been just knee deep in this project. And we are finishing up the membership site this week. And it’s going to be amazing. So the certification, there’ll be more to come, of course, but it’s going to be an advanced certification in motherhood and family life coaching. So this is specific to you coaches who work with the mom niches. And this is where I started in my business. I, of course, wrote my book, The Happy Mom Mindset. Most of you know, I have a blended family of eight. And honestly, I love this mom space. As I work with coaches, building their businesses, oftentimes, we are addressing some of these issues that come up with the role and view that women have of themselves as a mom, and also as that relates to their business. So I’ve been in the mom space since the beginning, I’ve stayed in the moms space, and I absolutely love it. So the certification is really focused on giving coaches in this space, new tools, new strategies, new approaches specific to your niche and clientele, it’s also going to help you to be able to up level and expand the current tools that you have. Of course, we are going to be applying all of this to you personally. Most coaches that are in that space, have a part of that as their own life as well, right. Oftentimes, we want to teach and coach, what our thing is. And so all of the work is going to support you personally in your life as well so that you can apply all of it personally, and therefore, do a better job with your clients, of course. And finally, in this, I’m going to be helping you with your own business as well, because I know a lot of the noise that comes up in coach’s head, about different mom niches, and we’re going to talk about it because I love building businesses. I love helping women to build businesses, and I absolutely love helping people in that mom space. So more to come on that. But as I’ve been working on that certification and training, and putting the tools in place in the trainings, one of the things that I have been working to bring to every module and every training all along the way, is this element of helping each coach to be able to define you as a coach. And so as I shift into this content this week, I want you to think for a minute about what makes you unique as a coach, and what makes you unique in your business. Because the truth is that even if there are 50 other women with the exact same niche as you, you are going to be unique, you are not going to be everyone’s flavor of coaching. And so I think it’s really important to really not just notice it but own who you are and what’s different about you because that is what will set you apart and that is how you will truly stay out of the compare and despair trap, in my opinion. So I want to talk about some key things that will help you to define you as a coach, and be able to improve your ability to coach, improve the results that you’re able to help your clients with, and doing all of it while staying true to you. So the first thing I want to offer to you is that whatever tools and strategies you are using, or you are learning, learn those tools and strategies, exactly how they are intended. And so as I work with coaches over time, I really help them to shift into using tools and approaches in a totally different way; sometimes turning them upside down altogether. However, there is a lot of value in learning the basics, that foundation of any work that you do. I remember working with one student as she was certifying, and she had done a lot of a motion work, somatic work. And she often wanted to go there as we were learning the cognitive tools. And while I see tremendous value in the work that she does, and in fact, I think many situations are better suited for that work, I challenged her to always do this cognitive work, trust and apply this to these situations, and you will learn so much. And I want to offer the same thing to you listening. Learn those tools so well that you know them like the back of your hand. If you are struggling to utilize a tool, before you shift or switch up the way that you use it, commit to learning how to use that tool and the way that it was intended. Next thing I want to offer to you make sure that you are leaning into your strengths. And before you can do that, you really have to notice that, right? This can be as simple as writing down a list. What are your strengths as a coach? What are you amazing at? What are those things that you do that truly impact your client and you know it, you see it, you feel it, they feel it? Make that list. And as you come to your coaching sessions, always be thinking about this through that lens. How can I bring my strengths into my coaching sessions more? How can I utilize them more? Whatever you focus on grows, right? So the more you focus on those strengths and bring them in, the better. Not only the better will your coaching be, but the more unique your coaching will be to you. Now let’s talk for a minute about the opposite, which would be perceived weaknesses that you have. And of course, I’m calling them perceived weaknesses, because weaknesses is very subjective. And oftentimes, we have thoughts about things we’re not good at. And I don’t know that we can prove that exactly. But I want to just give this to you anyway. Go ahead and take a look at your perceived weaknesses, and make a choice about them. So what I mean by this is, sometimes there may be certain skills or abilities that you have been taught should come into coaching. And maybe those things aren’t really your jam, that’s not really your wheelhouse. And sometimes what I offer up to my clients is: you can own that you’re not bringing that into your coaching. And a lot of coaches don’t realize this as an option. And so, I want to offer that to you that as you look at those perceived weaknesses, it is an option to decide that that’s not part of what you do. Another choice we can make about perceived weaknesses, is decide to work on improving that area. And what I asked of you is if you opt for this, I want to make sure that you’re doing it from a place of growing towards something, rather than telling yourself a story, that this is a problem, that this isn’t an inadequacy and feeling bad about it, and believing that you’re really messing things up. Because approaching change from that energy is never going to be as effective. And besides that, it doesn’t really build you up as a human being and as a coach. So if you are looking at a perceived weakness and you choose to work on it, make sure that you’re bringing an energy of abundance and energy of: I’m going to overcome and figure this out. And wherever I am now with the skill is perfectly fine. And every little step that I take, I’m going to acknowledge and I’m going to celebrate. Another thing that I want to offer up that may or may not apply to your specific list of weaknesses, or perceived weaknesses, I should say, is sometimes when we have a weakness or something that’s not really our thing, we can obviously also hire someone else to fill that gap right? Now, this can be a little bit challenging to apply to the coaching mastery realm. But I still want to throw that out there. Because sometimes, even in your business, I hear a lot of coaches working really hard to be good at something or do something in their business, when sometimes that’s just not necessary, because you don’t have to go it alone. So just to recap this: notice your perceived weaknesses, make a choice about them. Are you going to let go of doing that thing altogether? Are you going to work on it from abundance? Or is it something that you can possibly have some support from someone else? Next up, as you think about defining you as a coach, take the time to define you as a coach, write down a list of exactly what you do and how you do it. How would you describe your job? And how can you honor that? So here’s what I mean by this. Oftentimes, as I work with cognitive coaches using The Thought Model, who specifically do not give advice to their clients, do not give solutions, do not give strategies, but they are simply there to show the client thoughts and emotions and show them what is in their mind. They hear from clients that the client wants the solution, the client wants an answer, and the coach starts to get confused as to what they are supposed to be giving their client, based on what their client thinks they should be getting. Now, the reason why it’s so important for you to define for yourself—this is what I do as a coach—is it will allow you to own that from the beginning. And when you own that, what I find is that you will then communicate that clearly to your clients before they ever start working with you. When you own who you are and what you do as a coach, you will be much more clear about that in your writing, in your marketing. When you own that space, you quit taking on expectations that others may have of you, which will really cloud the whole process. It will leave you as a coach in confusion, and people-pleasing and trying to do and be something that you’re really not. Define you as a coach, exactly what you do and how you do it, what is your job? And decide to honor that. All right, Coach, the last tip I’ve got for you: leave room for growth, as you define you as a coach and you lean into your strengths, and you work on some of those things that maybe aren’t that great or let go of them all together. As you are uniquely you as a coach, always stay open to learning something new. You want to find this balance between inviting in other voices, other approaches, other ways of thinking about how you might coach and also staying true to who you are. The same thing is true in your business, right? I preach this all the time. You want to find that space as you build your business as to what experts do I listen to, what knowledge do I bring in? And how do I bring that in in a way that filters through what feels in alignment for me, what is the right thing for me and my life and my business. And the same is true for your coaching.          As you can leave the door open to looking at all kinds of use approaches and strategies, over time, you will be able to learn those new tools and strategies and make them uniquely yours. And that is how you will uplevel and expand your coaching ability time and again. All right, Coach, that’s what I’ve got for you. I will talk to you again on another episode next week. Outro: Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach podcast. You can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. To find out more about Molly, you can visit www.mollyclaire.com.