00:45

Hello and welcome. Today's episode is just going to be me and you here having a conversation. I hope you've been enjoying the many interviews and conversations I've been having with incredible coaches and other professionals over the last several months. 

 01:03

It's been really fun to do so many interviews. And I have to say, it feels like it's been a little too long since it's just been you and I having a conversation talking about some of these important topics. 

 01:17

So that's what we're going to do today. And I'm not sure I could be any more excited about today's topic. We are talking about emotional intelligence, emotional resilience. And in particular, I am referencing what has been called an emotional recession that we are currently experiencing. 

 01:41

I'm going to share a little bit more about what this means, what are the indications of this, and really truly what this means for you and I here as coaches in this industry. So that's what we're talking about today. 

 01:56

Before we dive into that, make sure you are signed up for tomorrow's live webinar. Tomorrow I am teaching about the four fundamentals of lasting change. And in particular, I'm talking about how important a greater understanding of emotions is as you are implementing changes for yourself and for your clients. 

 02:19

I talk about these four fundamentals all the time. I talk about mind mastery, I talk about emotion, the nervous system and action-focused strategies. And let me tell you that this emotion piece is such a big deal. 

 02:33

I think it is something that is often very vague or ambiguous, something that many of us don't have the language to articulate. And yet, boy, do we need to learn how to articulate it, as you will find out in today's podcast episode, of course, and I'm going to be highlighting that on the webinar. 

 02:53

So having said all of that, if you haven't yet signed up, Pause this podcast right now, go to the show notes or go to mollyclaire.com. Sign up for the webinar. I'll be there live with you answering your questions. 

 03:04

I have a fantastic guide for you to help personalize the work. So you do not want to miss it. All right, coaches, emotional recession. Have you ever heard this term before? I had not until just recently, I'm going to share with you a little bit about the key summary points of the state of the heart 2024 report. 

 03:29

So this is the world's largest study of emotional intelligence, and it has been happening since 2011, and they have some fantastic data and research on emotional intelligence. What are the implications of great emotional intelligence and what are the struggles that we see when it is lacking? 

 03:51

So recently, as this report came out, they stated loud and clear that the data is showing we have entered a global emotional recession, and I'm going to reference some of the exact words they have on their website. 

 04:07

And I'm also sharing with you here in the show notes where you can actually access this report, but I'm just going to share a few of the key findings with you. So first, they highlight what an emotional recession is. 

 04:20

And as I read this, I want you to listen and see if this sounds familiar to what you have been seeing in the world around you. So they say that like an economic recession, which reflects a significant drop in economic activity across an economy, an emotional recession is a sustained period of emotional depletion. 

 04:43

During this time, individuals experience reduced emotional well-being, decreased motivation and empathy, and a lower capacity to cope with daily stressors. How many of you are seeing this in the world around you? 

 04:59

How many of you are noticing this, especially in adult children or those that are launching out into the real world, and they really don't have the emotional capacity or the levels of emotional intelligence and understanding to feel equipped to handle life, right?  And they say that all of this really results in a significant downturn in mental health, which we are seeing, and also a downturn in social engagement across a community or society. So let this really settle in and think about you as a coach and the clients that are coming to you, struggling as a parent, your clients who are struggling to navigate relationships at work, your clients who are coming to you and feeling stuck in their relationship. And there's a lot of emotional stuckness. And think about just that aspect of your clients coming to you and really struggling to feel like they are holding things together. 

 06:06

When I hear this word, emotional recession, I feel like everything in me is saying, yes, this is what I have been seeing. And this is why my coaches and master coach training and the mentoring we are doing there within the emotion space in particular is having such an impact. 

 06:29

So we're going to talk more about this today. And as we talk about this, really think about the implications of the state of the world emotionally on you, on your life, and on your clients as well. So I'm going to share a few more things about what is being reported about this emotional recession. 

 06:50

Emotional intelligence and well-being scores have declined, according to this report, for four consecutive years. Okay, they're looking at on average, people are more volatile, people are less likely to be able to navigate emotions, they're less likely to feel connected to empathy, or even a bigger sense of purpose. 

 07:12

And this is the one that I really want to highlight and dive further into because this is something that I really train and mentor my coaches to be able to do first for themselves and subsequently for their clients. 

 07:27

I feel like this is the key, this is the magic and this is the thing that most of us do not learn. And I am so grateful that life several years ago forced me to learn it and dive into it. And I'm so honored now to be able to share it. 

 07:42

And this is it. People are less likely to be able to accurately understand and label the feelings they are experiencing, which by the way, is a crucial founding education for mental and emotional help. 

 07:58

Think about this, how often do you ask your clients what they're feeling or what's going on for them? And they say, I'm feeling okay, or I'm not feeling good, right? We speak in generalities and it is definitely the exception and not the rule that our clients are able to articulate the unique and specific emotions they are feeling and for them to understand why they are feeling them. 

 08:25

And I want to read again what this says in this report about being able to accurately understand and label feelings. It says, this is a crucial foundation for mental and emotional health. 

 08:42

So think about this for a minute. If most people are not able... to understand and accurately label the feelings they're experiencing. And this is crucial as a foundation for mental and emotional health. 

 08:56

It seems to me that we have got some work to do. But here's the good news. Here is the great news. Emotional skills and emotional capacity are both measurable and learnable. And emotional skills can be built just like we build muscles. 

 09:19

And I'm going to be talking about this analogy today and how very relevant it is. And our emotional capacity can be grown. Okay. This is all possible. This is all true. And I believe more now than ever before as coaches, we have such an opportunity to be of service in such a significant way. 

 09:41

So I want to share with you an analogy. And this is something that we've talked quite a bit about in my mentorship with master coaches, where they are learning and understanding their own emotions. They are building their emotional muscles for themselves in their life. 

 09:57

And as they run their business and therefore learning how to support their clients in doing the same. So we talk a lot about the topic of emotions. And this is an analogy that is just so very fitting. 

 10:11

So come along with me here. About a year and a half ago, it's going on about two years now. I injured myself while rock climbing. I do indoor rock climbing. I've done some outside, but let's be honest. 

 10:25

I most of the time go to the climbing gym by my house. It's the best time I've relaxed. I let go. I love it. And I had had some extra climbing sessions. I'd overdone it just a little bit. And as often happens when we do that, I got injured. 

 10:41

So after a few months of pain on and off, I finally go in to get a diagnosis and get some physical therapy. Well, what we found is that there is a small stabilizing muscle deep in the shoulder that was very weak. 

 10:59

And because of this, no matter how strong my bicep was or my tricep or some of those larger muscles were, because this small muscle deep in the shoulder was weak, it was causing a problem. It was causing an imbalance. 

 11:14

And more specifically, what I want to say about this muscle is it's a muscle that's involved in the stabilizing of the shoulder. And so when I first went in to the physical therapist and he was, you know, getting a gauge on how everything was working, this little muscle was so weak, in fact, that when I did a very simple, simple movement of my shoulder, of my arm, it was challenging for me to do even without having any weight on it. 

 11:44

And I guarantee that if anyone would have seen me and the movement that I was doing, it would have been very surprising that this movement was difficult. I'm in fairly good shape, I'm pretty active, and I wasn't even able to lift a one-pound weight with this motion for this tiny muscle. 

 12:01

So fast forward a little bit, and I begin adding a one-pound weight to this motion. And fast forward quite a bit, and now I regularly lift about 12 pounds with that set of muscles. And here's why this is really important to understand and remember. 

 12:20

So just like in our lives, we can use those bigger muscles that we are very familiar with, and that we are conditioning those things like maybe a strong mindset, maybe we've learned to achieve, we've learned to do, we've learned to be effective. 

 12:36

We can muscle through our life, just like I was muscling up that wall. We can do it until we push it too far, we do too much, and we realize that without internal stabilizing muscles, we are going to fall, we are going to get injured, we are going to be set back. 

 12:57

And truly your emotional world, your emotional skills, your emotional awareness, emotional connectedness, emotional capacity is one of the most crucial pieces of your stabilization tools. You hear me say this a lot, and I will keep saying it till the day I die. 

 13:24

Your feelings matter. Your emotions matter. We need to pay attention to them. And as I give this analogy, just like I wasn't really aware of this little muscle, most people aren't. The same is true for the emotional muscles. 

 13:44

and skills that we need to build and understand. And by the way, no one is telling us this. We are not raised to understand how to be with our emotions. And think about even as coaches, the things that we regularly hear, right? 

 13:57

We need to be able to sit with our feelings, be with the feelings, process the feelings, we say all these things, but what does it really mean? And over time, many of you have learned just like we do in Master Coach training and other things, there are ways of doing somatic work with the body, which is very powerful. 

 14:15

And there are skills and abilities within the way we navigate our emotions that I believe are absolutely crucial in order to stabilize ourselves as human beings. And I don't mean to say stabilize like, oh, we're emotionally out of control, but I'm going back to this idea of that muscle in my shoulder that helped us stabilize, right? 

 14:40

And make everything work better. And the same is true. When we as coaches can increase our understanding and our knowledge around the power and importance of our emotions, understand what emotional connection means, what it truly means to not just know what we're feeling, but connect with what we're feeling and be specific about what we're noticing, and being able to expand our capacity within to navigate life, as we are able to do that, it is the stabilizing peace. What it means is that you, as a human being, will be more aware of your needs, more capable of ensuring that they are met, and therefore you will have a stronger foundation in your life to show up for everyone around you. 

 15:39

When you can strengthen these emotional muscles, it will mean that you are keenly aware of where and when you're pushing too much, and when and how to recalibrate. When you have these emotional muscles built, it means you are capable of not just gritting your teeth to stay calm when an emotional situation comes about, but you actually have the presence and the ability to be calm and connected with yourself and with others in those difficult moments. 

 16:19

And what I want to say is that for you as a coach, as you build and understand your internal emotional muscles and build that capacity, not only will you be able to show up so powerfully for your clients and serve them in a way you never were before, but it all It also means that you are then making them aware of the muscles within them that need to be strengthened. 

 16:52

What does this all mean? What is the implication of this? All the things your clients are coming to you for, better relationships, more calm and cool in their parenting, an easier time dealing with their emotions that come up as they're going toward goals. 

 17:10

It means being in a frame of mind to get the race. And most importantly, in my opinion, it means that your clients and all of us, we as human beings can have a better experience of life, one that is more filled with purpose, more filled with gratitude, more filled with connection, and empathy, and love. 

 17:39

and living our lives in a way where we are able to contribute more good in the world. All right, coaches, I'm just getting started on this topic. I'm going to be talking a lot more about this, including introducing you to an emotional intelligence model that you'll definitely want to be aware of. 

 17:58

And I really hope to be able to see so many of you on this week's webinar. The work of our emotional world is key in every single training that I do. I'm talking about the webinars that I do, but also inside the Masterful Coach Collective, any one of my training, Master Coach training. 

 18:18

So if you're excited about this and you're wanting to learn more about your emotional world, keep following me here, come to the training tomorrow.