Welcome to The Masterful Coach podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you're ready to create a meaningful coaching business, that makes a difference. You're in the right place. And now your host master coach instructor, Molly, Claire. [00:00:25] Hello coaches. How are you? I hope you are loving coaching. I hope you're loving your clients. And I hope you're loving building your business. I know it's not always easy and it is like, you know, a constant series of failures and successes and figuring things out and it's a ride, but I hope that you're able to find a little joy and love as you go. [00:00:54] So I am on cloud nine. This week I'm just returning from advanced relationship coach training that Amy Gianni and I with the coaching collective did this last week. And it was so amazing. Such a beautiful, amazing group of coaches, all coming together to advance and master their relationship coaching skills, learn new concepts, and to be able to integrate them with what they already do. [00:01:22] And it was such a connecting experience, partly because many of these coaches we've worked with through the coaching collective. They are in our mastermind. And so this was the first time a lot of them, we were able to meet them in person. And we also had some people that this is the first time we were connecting at all. [00:01:41] So just a really amazing experience. Those of you listening that were there, thank you so much for showing up in such a big way. And I was inspired to do this episode, actually, by a conversation I had with one of the coaches after the training. As Amy and I were creating the training and figuring out how we were going to facilitate it. [00:02:05] I remember one day us talking and just having this amazing realization that the way we were facilitating this training with these coaches was not just about teaching them these new concepts and ideas, but really, truly taking the way that they coach now, the tools that they have and taking them up to such an advanced level. [00:02:27] And I just remember how excited we were about that idea. Like this is going to transform and uplevel their coaching. Something that so many coaches are wanting and the best part about this is that just yesterday I was talking with one of the coaches who was there and she said, "I can't believe how different I feel when I'm coaching. [00:02:52] I was coaching someone and I was talking to someone else and they just commented that they couldn't believe how different the process was compared to before." [00:03:01] So that was just so rewarding and so fun. So that is inspired this episode and I'm going to be talking with you about 10 tips about mastering your coaching level upleveling all the time. [00:03:15] So that's what the episode is about. And it's right in line with also a free class that we're going to be offering in August in The Coaching Collective. So, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, pause this podcast and I want you to do. Make note to sign up for our August monthly mastery. So in the coaching collective, we offer a free monthly training, Amy and I, every single month. [00:03:40] And we often focus on different aspects of coaching, ways you can up level your skills. Sometimes we talk business. Sometimes we talk life, a lot of topics, but this month in particular, in August, we are talking about never doubting your coaching skills again. And I'm going to be going more in depth about the things I'm talking about on this podcast today. [00:04:04] And it's really a chance for you to kind of quiet some of those fears, because I know a lot of you coaching, whether you're brand new or whether you're seasoned at this, still have those times when you may feel stuck or you feel like you're talking too much, or, "Am I getting anywhere with this client?" [00:04:20] And you may even experience getting off a session and having that swirl of doubt or shame or wondering if you really know what you're doing. So if you've ever experienced doubt, make sure that you go and you can just go to the coaching collective.com and there is the chance there to sign up for the free monthly mastery. If you're already on our list, you will be getting a special invitation of course, to join us. So such a great class, we love interacting and engaging with you there. [00:04:50] So that brings us to today's podcast, 10 tips focused on master level coaching. First of all, this first tip is, I'm speaking specifically to those of you that are pretty new to coaching, but don't discount this if you're further along, if your business is at six figures or beyond, it doesn't matter where you are. I want you to think about how you can apply this to you. [00:05:17] So tip number one, be where you are. Practice the basics. So yesterday I was talking with some of my students that I train for the life coach school and one of them was talking about how much she wants to be at that next level of coaching and referencing, you know, some of the coaches that she sees that are at a higher level that she sees doing, you know, public coaching, quick coaching. And she was trying to understand and translate how the basic things that we're doing really turn into that. [00:05:56] So I want to talk specifically to those of you that feel like you are learning those basic things right now. I want to tell you be where you are. Practice the basics. Trust that those are the building blocks. And those of you that have been doing this for a while. Take the same advice, wherever you are be, where you are and practice what you're working on with your coaching. [00:06:21] When I first started coaching, my first certification was training through The Life Coach School, the CTFAR model, many of you are familiar with it. And I trained with Brooke Castillo in our little group of 12 coaches on the phone back in the days before zoom. And I remember that when I was coaching people and practicing, I would write my coaching model, CTFAR, on my paper and I would listen for the client to say whatever starting point I was going to start with. So the T in the CTFAR is the thought line. And I would listen for a thought that I wanted to coach them on and I would plug it in. And then I would plug in every other line of the model. [00:07:06] And that is what I did. I treated it like a formula. And then I would simply talk through it with the client and tell them what I could see was happening with their thinking, with their feelings and what they were creating. And that is what I did every single time. In some ways I was at an advantage compared to some of you who, whether you're doing The Life Coach School or something else, where sometimes you have all of these resources and all these examples to look to, and sometimes we lose sight of paying attention to the basics. [00:07:37] So for example, those of you training through The Life Coach School, have self coaching scholars. You have so many opportunities to hear Brooke and other master level coaches and you can get sidetracked from learning the basics. And so it's so fun for me to look back and think I'm so glad that it was so simple for me. The only thing in my brain was I need to learn how to use this model with my clients. [00:08:04] And so if you are new practice, those basic skills. Remember that those are the building blocks. Mastering that is exactly what you need to get to that next level. And you can't be where you want to be until you've done the work to get there. [00:08:27] This leads me to tip number two, embrace the idea that you're supposed to be where you are. So tip one is really about being where you are in a practical sense. Okay. This is the tool or concept that I'm working. Whereas tip two is really embracing this idea. That learning the building blocks is what is going to get you where you want to be. [00:08:52] Because what I find is when I have coaches that are thinking, "I should be further along. I wish I were further along." And even worse, "I could be such a better coach and help my clients in such a better way if I were further along." This is probably the most poisonous way of thinking, because if you are believing that you could do a better job, coaching them, if you were somewhere else, you're never going to be able to totally show up present and use what you have. [00:09:22] If you're believing that someone else would coach them better who's further along, again, you're not able to trust your abilities and be present with the client. So remember that where you are and what you have to offer is enough for that client in front of you. Trust that process, trust yourself, and you will be able to show up in a really powerful way, even with a very, very simple tool. [00:09:48] All right. Tip number three, always be learning, but do not get stuck there. I am a huge believer in always expanding your skills, increasing your knowledge, understanding more about how you can help your clients. And I also see a lot of coaches get really stuck in consuming and learning and not applying or taking action. [00:10:15] And so you want to make sure to bring these two things together. Always learning doesn't mean, "When I have more knowledge then I'll be qualified. When I can learn everything there is to know about emotions, about thoughts, about productivity. When I have all the knowledge available in the world, then I'm qualified to coach." [00:10:35] That is not what this means. What this means is I'm always learning. I'm always expanding. I'm always growing and I am going to use what I have to its full potential right now with the clients in front of me. And one thing that we do in the coaching collective and that we also did at our advanced training, we are a huge believer in this, is to spend the time helping our clients to elevate their thinking. [00:11:02] We teach them the concepts and then we move them into creation mode. And we create this ebb and flow back and forth so that no one is getting caught in assuming, consuming, and taking passive action. And also, people are not only taking this constant action without a solid plan or without expanding their abilities. So we want to find this magical place where we're learning and taking it all in and expanding, and also using, taking action, moving forward all the time. [00:11:33] Tip number four, make connections. At our training that we just did, this is a perfect example of this, we were teaching new concepts, new ideas, presenting research in the relationship realm, and then we were helping our coaches to make the connection between what they were learning and what they already know, and what they already do. [00:11:56] So as you're learning, always be thinking about making those connections with how all of this applies to what I know. How does all of this apply to what I do? How does this relate to my clients? The more you can focus on making those connections, that is going to help you up level your ability to coach. [00:12:18] Next tip, meet your client, where they are. When we learn coaching skills, coaching tools, oftentimes we think that our client comes to us at "Point A" and then we use this tool in a very linear and specific way, and then we move them to "Point B". Right? It's it's great. This is how it works. They come to us, we apply this tool in this way. Problem solved. It never works that way. Right. [00:12:46] What we want to do is make sure that when we are coaching, we are always meeting our client where they are, we're adapting any tool or concept to what our client needs in the moment. And the more you can do this- we talk about this all the time on our master your coaching calls in the collective, where we really are helping our coaches to understand how to use the art of coaching. Make it an art. Make it about that human connection, rather than just a science or a set of tools that's applied in a very linear and specific way. Meet your client where they are. [00:13:26] Okay. Next tip goes right along with this. Let go of rigidity. When we think about a science, you think about a process, right? There's a protocol in place. And while certainly the tools that you have in coaching are useful in having that and providing some structure, I want you to challenge yourself as you grow as a coach, as you expand your ability to let go of rigidity around how sessions are supposed to look and around how you use the tools that you have. [00:14:04] I really noticed that when I'm working with my coaches to improve their skills and let go of this rigidity and open themselves up, it allows them as coaches to be much more intuitive. And it allows them to actually bring more of their own authenticity to the process. And the reality is there are a lot of coaches out there and a lot of them are teaching a lot of the same things that you are teaching. A lot of coaches are talking to the same people that you're talking to, but none of those coaches are you. So when you can be you as a coach, and you can remove some of the rules, the limits, the rigidity, it allows you to be more authentic, more masterful, and to really bring a unique gift to your clients. [00:14:56] Next tip. Give yourself permission to have your own style. You as a coach are going to have certain gifts and abilities. You're going to have a certain way that you are with people. Right? Think in conversations with friends, you all kind of have your own style of how you communicate, how you show up, how you are as a friend, right? How you are as a partner, if you have a relationship. How you are as a mom, if you have kids. And so really think about giving yourself permission to have your coaching style be your coaching style. This is a huge mistake I see with the coaches that I'm working with that are learning and advancing their skills, and they think that their style should look like this other really successful coach that they admire. But I promise if it's not your style, it's not going to work out very well for you because it's going to be very clear that it's not your style and you won't do that style well. Right. [00:15:56] So if you see a coach that has a very aggressive coaching style and it's very natural to them, and then you try to do that, it's not going to go very well. It will seem aggressive. Whereas with that other coach, somehow it may not seem as aggressive because it's their style. So think for you for a minute, what is your style with coaching? How can you bring that to your session? [00:16:19] Okay. Next tip. Don't be afraid to let go of trying to help everyone. Don't be afraid to collaborate. So on a recent episode, I interviewed Jen Taylor trauma therapist. If you haven't heard that episode go listen, you will love it. We talked on that episode about the idea of collaborating with other professionals, because oftentimes if you're working with a client where trauma comes up, it is a great idea to collaborate with a trauma therapist. [00:16:53] And we talked on that episode, and I'm referring to that episode, but this goes with anything that your clients may bring, that just because your client presents with something like trauma or something that's outside of your wheel house, it doesn't always necessarily mean that you can't work with them on either other issues where the trauma isn't as prevalent or work with them within that realm while collaborating. And so I think when we can get in that mindset of seeing ourselves as one piece to the puzzle of what our clients need, it opens us up to really being able to serve our client at a higher level as we collaborate. [00:17:32] And in those cases where you truly are not the one to play a role in your client's life because someone else is really better suited for them, don't be afraid to let it go. Right. We are here in service of our clients. [00:17:48] Okay. Tip number nine, see value in others. This goes right along with collaborating, right? It can be really easy to get caught in scarcity as you're building your coaching business. And sometimes we get in this compare situation where we're trying to see, who's the best coach? Who's a better coach? Are we? Now, if I'm doing the same coaching service that someone else is doing, am I in competition with them? Am I seeing them as a threat? Or instead, am I seeing value in others? [00:18:28] Now, what does this have to do with master level coaching? It has this to do with master level coaching. When we can see value in every coach around us, every practitioner around us, we always have opportunities to learn from them, right? When we can see value in others, we can notice things that we can't see when we believe that we're in competition or someone is a threat to us. So open yourself up to learning from others and also supporting others in their coaching endeavors. Remember, even if a coach is doing the same thing as you, in the sense that they're speaking to the same people, they're not you. So you each serve a totally unique purpose. [00:19:18] Okay. You ready for tip number ten? Do your own work. When I was becoming a coach, when I was doing my master coach training, I was going through one of the biggest transitions of my life and it was hard. It was hard work. And what I did is I hired a coach to be there with me and I faced it and I applied everything that I knew to myself. And I asked my coach to apply everything she knew to me. I did my own work in a big way. I opened up to it. [00:19:55] And I can see so clearly that for me doing my own work, getting coaching, opening up to understanding what's in my way, is probably the biggest key to me, being able to coach my clients at a high level. Do your work. You need a coach. Everybody needs a coach. [00:20:21] That, coaches, is what I've got for you. Make sure that you commit to upleveling your coaching. This does not mean that you have to have it all figured out. It means you start where you are, you practice the basics, you embrace the idea that where you are is useful. You always learn from people around you without getting stuck there. Make connections. Meet the client where they are. Let go of rigidity, give yourself permission to have your own style. Don't be afraid to let go and collaborate. See value in others. And finally, do your own work. [00:21:04] Thank you so much for being here with me. Hopefully we'll see you on that August 12th call where I'm going to help you to never doubt your coaching skills again. And I will see you on the next episode. Thanks for listening to the masterful coach podcast. You can check out www.thecoachingcollective.com for info about the ultimate program for coaches building a business. [00:21:29] To find out more about Molly, you can visit www.mollyclaire.com.