Welcome to the masterful coach podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn Skill Mastery, Business Mastery and Life Mastery at a whole new level. If you're ready to create a meaningful Coaching Business that makes a difference, you're in the right place. And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Molly Claire. Hey, coaches welcome to this episode. I am so looking forward to connecting with you, sharing with you some of my own experiences in hopes that they can really help you. I'm going to be sharing my story with you today, as well as the three keys that have made all the difference for me. I'm mostly excited to share my story with you not just because it's my story but because it's such a great example of why, what you do as a coach matters. Because of coaching, I have created success in my business that I never imagined was possible I mean not in a million years, and because of coaching, I have created a quality of life, internally that just keeps getting better and better. I see my life as limitless as to what I can create in the future and that feels so powerful and amazing. Please remember that you as a coach are changing the trajectory of people's lives, what you do is meaningful. As I share these three keys with you here to my own success, I hope that you can take them in and apply them to your situation and do this important work you are meant to do. Let's talk about these three keys I want to share with you and with all three of them, I'm going to use the word anchor. Write that down, anchor. Let's talk a little about my start. When I found coaching, I knew I was meant to do it. Everything a coach does the process a coach facilitates being an entrepreneur, it's in my genes. At the same time, as I started my coach training and business building process, I was going through a lot. I had chronic fatigue syndrome and my 15 year marriage was finally unraveling while I was in my coach training program and I was going through just having a lot of stuff come up in my life internally and was feeling like a little bit of an internal crisis. This ended up being a gift in so many ways. I was able to apply the coaching work that I was doing to myself at such a deep level. It set me up to really understand in depth the coaching process. Honestly, I credit my depth of coaching knowledge and ability to help others so quickly with that with applying this. As you're listening here, I hope you remember to truly apply all that you're doing to yourself, it will make you masterful at what you do. So back on track, as I started building my business, despite being so confident with my coaching, I had a lot of limiting beliefs, fears and doubts coming up. As I was learning sales and marketing and niching I was pretty insecure about who I could actually help. I had been out of the business world for 15 years and financially dependent. What did I have to offer? How could I make decent money? The only thing really in my way was my limiting beliefs and I guarantee this is true for you. I have the skills, I have the ability, I had determination and lack of belief was the only problem. But what I did have going for me was commitment. I mentioned that determination. As I was going through my divorce, I had a huge why, four of them, actually to be exact, my three kids and me. I grew up with a single mom who worked nonstop. I was alone a lot of the time growing up. Finances were beyond tight and I was well aware of that and time together time with my mom, very rare. My worst nightmare was to have my children experience the same thing that I did. Fear around finances, being alone, trying to figure out life when you don't feel like you have a lot of stability in your home or a lot of structure not a lot of guidance. I couldn't stomach the idea of my kids experiencing that. I refused to be stressed out overwhelmed and exhausted like my mom. This right here is key number one for your success. What is your why? We hear this a lot but I don't think we can hear it enough. When I think about all the failures, the embarrassments, the discouragement as I built my business, comparing this spare, fear doubt every other emotion that came up. It was because of this determination to create something better than I had for my kids and for me that I kept going. I refused to quit no matter what I wanted to create freedom and flexibility to be with my kids, I want to time available to eat lunch at the school with them and to be there when they were home. I wanted them to feel that life was still the same good experience that they'd had. I wanted them to feel supported and loved. I wanted a life free of financial worry, I had worried about money since I knew what money was, there was never enough. It was a huge burden that I saw my mom carry I did not want that worry. I didn't want that for my kids either. I wanted security for them, wanted to feel totally capable of handling my life and making it what I wanted it to be with no limits. What is your why? Be clear about it, don't just identify it but identify why it matters to you at a deep level. Be clear on what that end goal is you're really creating and what it looks like. This is anchor number one, your why needs to become so powerful that it becomes a no matter what. Let's take a look at key number two; belief, commitment and anchoring yourself in that belief. So as I was building my business, I decided to do Master Coach Training. I really wanted to have masterful skills and to be awesome at what I did. I was all in, ready to build this business. So fairly soon after finishing my first training, I did Master Coach Training. One day in my training session, I came really discouraged. It was one of those days that you think you should probably just skip out on class because you cannot hold it together. I was overwhelmed and terrified about the possibility of not being able to provide for my kids. After 15 years of that financial dependence, how could I catch up? I had started making money doing plenty of things at a very young age and I was always good at making money, could always have the money I needed and paid my way through college, etc. But this was different. This was providing for my family and I needed to make real money now. Remember that big why that I mentioned? I had a big fear connected with it. A fear of my kids living my worst nightmare for them. There I was at master coach training in session one day, having just met with a lawyer and learning that my state didn't require alimony and that I was an emotional mess. I was really terrified and not believing I was capable of doing this at all. I remember being there in class and my instructor mentor, Brooke Castillo of the Life Coach School asked me, “Why don't you just make as much money as he does?” I immediately replied as if this was the craziest thing she could ask me, “Brooke, he makes a lot of money.” It's so funny for me to look back and see that I completely believed that everything was going to be so hard and terrible. I completely believe that I was so powerless that I was incapable and as absurd as I thought it was that she was asking me why I wouldn't make as much money as he does, that it seemed just as absurd to her that I thought that I couldn't. When I said to her, he makes a lot of money, her immediate response was; “Why don't you just make as much money as he does?” What my answer to that was without hesitation my brain offered up the answer, “Because I'm a woman.” I was horrified to discover this belief. I couldn't even believe it was there and then to admit it out loud to all of these people that I actually believe this thing. So for me, seeing this belief was a pivotal moment for me. I still remember where I was and everything was in slow motion, my brain was in slow motion. You guys know those times when you had some lightbulb moment some Aha, and you remember exactly where you are, what was around you? That was one of those experiences for me. I remember sitting there thinking, how could I believe this? Of course I believe this. I had been taught my whole life that men provided and I had watched my mom's struggle to provide financially. Doesn't it make sense that I would believe this? And yet this belief for me in this moment was unacceptable. The wheels in my head were turning, wait a minute, Brooke makes as much money as he does, and she is a woman. I know there are plenty of other women who make way more than she does. How can it be possible that I can't make as much money as him? Simply because I'm a woman? And this was it. This was the moment that I knew that I wanted to release that belief altogether that I was limited and commit to believing that I could make as much money as he does. This is it as simple as that is right? I decided that no matter what one day, I would believe it and by believing it, it would be my reality. That would be the marker of when I believed it is I would have it. This is the second anchor. Anchor yourself in whatever it is you want to believe but can't yet. I'll talk more in future episodes about believing and how to make it work for you but today, just get clear about what that belief is. You don't have to believe it today, you don't have to believe it every single day. Stepping into belief doesn't mean you don't have doubts and fears, what it means is that one day you will believe and you don't stop until you do. Okay, let's talk about anchor number three, anchor yourself in you. As you build your business, you will be learning so many new skills at once. You'll want the magic pill the exact path to take or the guaranteed method to succeeding. I know, I certainly did. As I started learning all the skills required to build my business, I looked to a lot of experts, this program, that one, I wanted to look to others who were successful and learn from them. And by the way, in my opinion, this is a great thing. You want to be learning from others who have done it, you want to tap into the genius of experts in the field that you're learning. I did this though, I made one of the biggest mistakes that I see coaches make as they build their business. I thought the expert was more than an expert in sales or marketing, or whatever it was I was looking to them for. I thought they were the expert in what was best for me. I can think of two specific decisions I made in the direction of my business that were a huge slowdown for me. So much work, time, effort, money that resulted in no tangible rewards. The reason, despite knowing the direction I wanted to go in my business, I allowed noise in my head to tell me that an expert knew what I should do. They knew what would work, even though in my gut, I knew that another direction was right for me. Now, mind you, I don't regret these decisions. I learned so much from all that I put into them. Not to mention understanding this lesson at such a deep level and now it's instinctual for me, I can tell the minute that I'm starting to go off track. When something feels out of alignment for you, off track from you and what you know in your gut listen to you over the expert. Definitely look to experts for advice, guidance and wisdom. Take it all in but at the end of the day, anchor yourself in you. Coaches, what you are doing in the world is a big deal. People who have been stuck for decades can finally move into being the person they want to be. They have the relationships they want. Your clients will go from powerless to powerful, they will finally feel in the driver's seat of their life, their emotions and they'll feel more capable than they ever imagined. I know that's true for me. You help them to take the steps they need to make it happen. I hope that you'll take from this a reminder that what you do matters. I hope you can think about anchoring yourself in your why, your belief and most importantly anchoring yourself in you. Anchoring yourself in you isn't just about business decisions either, it's how you truly master your skills and your life as well. When you're clear on what you want, clear on your strengths and you give yourself that constant reminder to listen to your gut, it will create the life you really want and that I think is mastery. Thank you so much for being with me. I'll see you next time.