Intro: Welcome to the Masterful Coach podcast with Molly Claire, where coaches learn skill mastery, business mastery, and life mastery at a whole new level. If you are serious about creating a meaningful coaching business that makes a difference, you are in the right place. And now your host, master life and business coach, Molly Claire.

Molly Claire: Hey, Coach. All right, if you read the description of today’s podcast interview, you are probably dying to dive in, and I don’t blame you. These women are truly incredible coaches, masterful at what they do, and amazing teachers of coaching. That’s why I wanted to bring them here for you. Those of you that will be in my community coming up this fall, all of these women will be there, they will be speaking, you will be learning from them to master your coaching skills, so stay tuned for the details.

But for today, I want to make sure that all of you know that next Tuesday, August 2, at 2: 00 PM Central Time, I am doing a coaching mastery master class for you. That’s quite a mouthful, isn’t it? I will be speaking with you and sharing with you and working through with you, some of the very concepts that we actually discussed on this episode that you are about to listen to.

So, if you’re interested in improving your coaching skills and your confidence in those skills, make sure to join me there. You can sign up by clicking the link in the show notes, and the link is also available on my bio on Instagram. So, make sure to sign up, register, come and be there with me, we always have such a great time. All right, without further delay, here is Carrie, Lisa, and Lisa.

All right, coaches, you are in for such a treat today. This morning, I told my husband, you are not going to believe what I get to do this morning, I get to have a conversation with Lisa and Lisa and Carrie, all at the same time, and I adore all of these women. I know many of my listeners know you, all of you, and adore you as well. And I think I feel like I’m gathering the coaching legends together, and sharing all of this wisdom and expertise.

So, we’ve got Lisa Hatlestad, Lisa Martinello, and Carrie Marshall for you today, and we’re going to hear from them, and help you all think about your own coaching style and ability, and how you can really expand your ability and be better, more effective, confident as a coach. All right, let’s do it, I’m going to have each of you….Frst of all, hi, Lisa, Lisa and Carrie.

Lisa Hatlestad: Hello,

Lisa Martinello: Hey Molly.

Carrie Marshall: Hello.

Molly Claire: Welcome. This just feels like a party. I only wish we were in person, but I’ll take what we can get. I’m just going to have you each introduce yourself, say a little bit about who you are, what you do, and we’ll start with Lisa H, go for it.

Lisa Hatlestad: Oh, thanks Molly, so happy to be here. So yeah, I’m Lisa Hatlestad, I do self-liberation work with women. So, I provide a safe space for them to kind of spot and free themselves from places where they have either consciously, or unconsciously have internalized an external value system that’s keeping them from trusting themselves and navigating from their own internal compass. I think we’re just enculturated to doubt ourselves so much and hold back, and respond to society’s norms, even with our dreams and desires.

So, it’s self-liberation work, it’s really, really, incredibly courageous work, deeply healing and life-affirming work. And I’ve been doing it primarily with coaches and other healing practitioners for the past few years. But I’m going to start expanding my work to reach out to midlife adult adoptees, and women who have been un-mothered, so I’m really excited about that, that’s been a dream.

Molly Claire: That is amazing, that’s so, that’s incredible. And first of all, I have to say, I think you know this about me Lisa, because we worked in the collective together and such. But what we call my unique genius is leading liberation, and that’s a big part of what I love doing, is, helping women overcome that. But what you just said, I don’t know if you know this or not, but my husband was adopted, and it’s actually just been recently, about a month ago that for the first time he met his biological father and who never even knew he had existed actually before that.

Lisa Hatlestad: Wow!

Molly Claire: I know. I don’t want to get too much off on this tangent. But I will just say that in this experience, my husband and I, both of us, and especially him, has really experienced what it is like to feel like there’s this sort of hole that’s been there for him, that he actually didn’t even realize was there. And there’s been something so powerful about that reconnection.

Lisa Hatlestad: Yeah, it really is, thanks so much for sharing that, I had no idea, but just another way I feel so aligned with you Molly, like your, the spaces that you have provided are truly spaces for liberation, and I love that, I love you, you’ve been an important part of my life for as long as I’ve been a coach, so thank you.

Molly Claire: Aw! This is so great, so glad to have you here. And I’m just really excited about that venture, because that’s really important work.

Lisa Hatlestad: Thanks.

Molly Claire: All right, Lisa M.

Lisa Martinello: Hi! So happy to be here. And we didn’t talk before, but I’m also all for liberation. I’ve just decided that is one of my core values for my business. And it rings so true, that for so many of us, we just lose track of what’s our truth and our authentic nature, especially when we come into these business spaces where there are all of these rules, and all of models that sometimes resonate, sometimes resonate less, and then we transform something as exciting and beautiful as business building into something that it’s not as pleasurable as it could be. So, a lot of the things that I…

Molly Claire: I like the way you said that.

Lisa Martinello: Right? Yes. And so, I work with clients, basically mostly coaches, and women in business. And really my mission is to help them become themselves in their business, which what I mean by that is become their truest version of themselves. And so, this is why I use the construct of the future self and future self work to help them do that. But really it is not a future self that we fabricate, it’s just the truest version of us, and who we want to become, and that really guides all of the coaching that I do.

I also like to work on identity work with my clients, and leadership, like inner leadership, and self-leadership, I will call it, when we just decide internally. And so, really the goal is to help them create aligned success, but in a way that is balanced, and is completely internal driven.

Molly Claire: Yeah, oh, I love it, love it. I’m so glad to have you here and participating. All right, Carrie.

Carrie Marshall: Hello, hello, I’m so excited to be here, I’m Carrie Marshall, I am a master certified coach. And I help people remember to want what they want unapologetically, and also go after those big audacious goals that they’ve always had. So, I really love to be able to help people create that space where they learn how to dream again, and then go after those dreams, and fail on the way, and not make it mean anything, and use it as feedback. And then really create a life that they love to live, and it’s just been so much fun and amazing to be here, because every single person on this podcast is a mentor that has had a very special place in my heart and my experience as I’ve become a coach.

Molly Claire: Oh, so awesome. And Carrie, I have to say, as you were talking and sharing that, I always see you on social posting these different places you are and connecting with people. And I see you going after that stuff, right? And I just think also that I’ve seen you up close and personal with really being an example of that resilience that you’re talking about, right? Like this comes, and it’s like Carrie’s just like, “I’m in this, I’m going for it,” so...

Carrie Marshall: well, and it’s such a great testament to having labels given to us. I’ve always been the shy, quiet introvert, and then remembering that, is that serving me? And if not, how else do I want to recreate who I am? And that’s just been something that’s been key to the success that I’ve created of understanding that labels are things that we’ve taken on for so long, are absolutely something that we can break up with.

Molly Claire: Yeah, yes, right? I think we’ve all experienced that, yeah. Okay, so the conversation I really want to have with these amazing women today for you is really about their coaching style and their abilities and how they can help you with that. And the reason why is, every single one of these women are master coaches, and I would consider them masterful master coaches. And I know this because I’ve worked with each of them, and I remember Lisa, when we were at master coach training in the Caymans, I remember, I believe Amy Gianni, my sister was your CCP instructor, or you were her in intern, one of the two.

Lisa Martinello: I was her intern.

Molly Claire: Okay, okay. And I remember, she was like, “She is such a good coach,” that was the first thing she said to me, and of course that was true. And I’ve seen it to be true, and I know you’ve done a lot of training of coaches at the life coach school. And yeah…

Lisa Martinello: but I’ve also been always like, just like a lover of learning, I always have this thought that’s helped me throughout the years, like I can learn anything, and that has been one of the most motivating thoughts for me. And so, I really do like the idea that as coaches, we are like an artist, and Picasso would never stop at his first iteration of the work.

Molly Claire: Yeah.

Lisa Martinello: If you see an early Picasso, and a later Picasso, they look completely different, right? And so, I do believe as coaches, it is not only a pleasure, but it’s also our duty to just keep learning in general, right? And just keep evolving.

Molly Claire: Yes.

Lisa Martinello: So, I think at every stage of our coaching life, I do believe in the beginning, we need more structure, we need to make sense of this new technique, and these new skills that we are acquiring. But over time we get more comfortable, we get to see our own style emerge, and we get to have it, meet all of these different things on our journey that make it richer. And so, I would just say, whatever you are in the coaching journey, and as a coach, and in your level mastery, you’re exactly where you need to be, you just need to keep expanding and learning, you know?

Molly Claire: Yeah. Well, one of the things I was going to ask you all actually is in the valueof expanding your coaching skills. So, this leads perfectly into that, I love what you said. I’ll go with this question to Carrie next. So, Carrie, you are my intern…

Carrie Marshall: Yes.

Molly Claire: And then right when we were in the Cayman Islands for Master Coach Training, I said to my sister, she’s an amazing coach, like I am so glad she’s here. And so again, I’ve seen your coaching up close and personal, and I know how skilled you are. What would you say about the value and expanding your coaching, or maybe what that’s been like for you?

Carrie Marshall: Yeah, I think that always, just like Lisa Martinello just mentioned, of always being willing to learn and expand. But part of that learning is getting around mentors that you love and respect, and that you admire. And that’s part of why community is so important, because having different types of mentors as coaches really helped me see that I was allowed to try new things, and sometimes have it not work. And so, as I expanded into my coaching, I would try on almost different types of coaching skills and tools, and sometimes I would have a coach like you come and say, how did that feel?

And that was really great for me to understand that I needed to take ownership of my coaching style, and that it was absolutely okay to shift and adjust. And that really is the secret sauce of coaching, because that’s what brings and attracts people to you. Is understanding that it’s your expansion as a coach that then leads people to say, I love what she is bringing to the table. And that’s so different, but we have to be willing to come to community, and actually play around with our own coaching experience, and what we do.

Molly Claire: Oh, my gosh, okay, you guys can’t see the video, but as she was talking, Lisa and Lisa, and I were all just emphatically nodding our heads, yes, yes, to all of it. I mean, Carrie, of course, you were talking about the community that I’m bringing together, and I didn’t ask you to plug it, but I mean, hello? I have to say that part of the reason that I have all of you women, all these women here together for you, is each of them are going to be guest speakers in my community this fall that is open for all of you to come to.

And specifically, I’m having each of these women teach you a master class on your coaching mastery skills. And so, keep that in mind, those of you that will be coming along with us, you’re getting a little bit of flavor of what these women bring, and this is why I love these women, this is what they’re about. They’re about helping you expand your skills, and speaking to what Lisa was saying about, there are some rules and guidelines, and how do you expand? Like, what is your version of this coaching, right?

Carrie Marshall: Well, and the one thing that I want to say about that is, I think that sometimes coaching and being a solo entrepreneur can be very lonely. And that’s why I think that community is so important, is because oftentimes we get in this space of maybe certifying, and then we’re graduated and we’re by ourselves.

And so, finding a community that feels supportive is important, because then we can come and have those conversations, and figure out, just like Lisa Martinello talked about it, where is the foundation? And then where do we go from there? But it can be really lonely if we’re trying to do it by ourselves.

Molly Claire: Yeah, and we don’t have to. I think sometimes in the coaching world, we get this idea in our mind that, I should always have my own back, and I should be just this fierce solo. But first of all, why? And second of all, I mean, it’s really silly, it’s kind of ridiculous to think, no one is self-made. All of us are made from all of the parts and pieces of everyone in our life, right? And there’s so much power in that. So, I want to ask you Lisa also about expanding skills, and just a little about Lisa. And I was trying to think, actually, I’m talking to Lisa H right now. I was trying to think about when we first met, because I know that there was your master coach training at the mansion…And she laughs.

Lisa Hatlestad: I’m sorry. I was like Lisa and Carrie got to go to The Bahamas, I was in a freezing cold mansion in Austin. That was very weirdly decorated. Yeah, Molly, I’m not sure when we first met, your sister, Amy, was my CCP instructor. And I don’t know, it feels like you’ve always been there, but you weren’t my original instructor, but you were at my master coach training, and I’ve always just had an amazing fondness for you at the lowest level, and just really high esteem of you.

So, yes to everything that Lisa and Carrie said, and I think, just expounding a little bit on Carrie’s comments, my take on community too, and I think Carrie already said this, but I’ll say it this way Molly, being in the Coaching Collective, when that was your jam, it was always so fun to watch the amazement of the other coaches in there, when you or Amy would pull out something different or something outside of the box from what we learned in original certification.

Molly Claire: Yeah.

Lisa Hatlestad: I’m like, “Oh, you can do this.” And it just has always struck me, I was that way too, but it has always struck me how we really do, to Lisa Martinello’s point, internalize these rules. And then can sometimes, if we stay in them, create an echo chamber. Because to me, having expand of skills and approaches really mirrors the client’s reality, right? Which is, they have this great expanse, some of it realized and integrated, and some of it not even tapped into yet of resources to be who they want to be and create what they want to do. And I think the benefit for me… and I’ve gone all kinds of ways, I love learning, and I love following my own fascination, I have found that just incredibly helpful, and also just not being attached to being right.

There is no one right answer for anybody. So, it really lets me be playful and responsive, and encourage my clients to play an experiment and also speak up for themselves when something isn’t resonating. Because I think especially as women, when there’s a power dynamic at play, like in a coaching container, the client can really feel disempowered as far as saying, “Hey, this isn’t working for me,” or “I don’t like this,” or “This makes me uncomfortable.” Yeah, I thought that’s part of the huge benefit I see in all of this.

Molly Claire: Yeah, I think so too. And as you were talking, I was thinking about, I know, when I coach and my clients, for those of you that have worked with me and groups, know this is how it always is. Whenever I offer something up, I always give full permission for them to completely disagree with whatever I may be perceiving. And say, tell me if any of this lands or if this is completely wrong? And I think that’s where it opens that space to really explore it where we can both challenge like, also, what if this is the case? And what if it’s not at all? I’m not the authority in their life.

Lisa Hatlestad: Yeah, totally.

Molly Claire: Yeah. And of course, Lisa, you were in our community in the Coaching Collective. And then we quickly brought you in as a guest there. And it’s been really fun for me to see the different flavors that you bring to coaching. So, I love it.

Lisa Hatlestad: Thanks, it was so fun.

Molly Claire: Yeah. And actually, let’s talk about that next. So, I want to hear from each of you as far as how you think your coaching style specifically, maybe differs a little bit. And I’ve realized it’s like, well, what does that mean, differs from what? But when you think about your unique style, what is it?

Lisa Hatlestad: I can speak to mine – this is Lisa H. – it’s really an alchemy. I am trained in cognitive behavioral style coaching, like everybody in here. I’m also trained in NLP and hypnosis. And I have an obsession and fascination with [Inaudible 20: 39], archetype work, and shadow integration work, and all of these approaches just come through the filter of my personality, my way of being, and my own experience, especially with residual trauma from childhood. And the work that I’ve had to do to shed and continue to do, because it’s never done. I don’t think we really finished that, of just shedding all of these internalized belief systems. So, when I think of my coaching style, I do think it’s multi-dimensional. It’s really playful. It’s very, very responsive to the clients.

Molly Claire: Yeah, I love that. I’ve heard you use the word ‘responsive’, twice, like, very responsive. And what I love about what you just offered up is, that it’s like you have all of these views and frames and techniques. And you essentially said they all go through the filter that is really me as a coach. So, all of those have your own flavor. And I honestly think that’s where this mastery comes in that I like to talk about. It’s like, okay, we can learn this skill, and we can do it. And can we both bring it through the filter that is us, which requires a level of self-trust and self-connection. And can I make it relevant and connect it to the client, and is that responsiveness there?

Lisa Hatlestad: I love that. And it is so much about self-trust. Yeah, beautifully said.

Molly Claire: I’m so excited for the call you’re going to do in our community, because I know you always bring a little bit of flavor to things.

Lisa Hatlestad: Yeah, one thing that I really have appreciated in the times that I was in the Coaching Collective and teaching is I remember specifically asking you, what flavor do you want me to bring? What does this need to look like? And you just said, “Do your magic?” That felt so good. That is the point where I realized that I really do trust myself. I guess I realized that before, but it just brought home, it’s like, yeah, my magic, that is what I will do.

Molly Claire: Yes, that’s right. I love it. I’m going to pick on you next, Carrie, because I know we’ve had a similar conversation where you’re coming in and you’re like, “What do you want me to talk about?” I’m like, there are no rules. And the thing that you talk about or teach can be in complete opposition to what they’ve already learned, just like, come and do something amazing. And then, of course, you come and the community is like, “Wow, that was amazing.” So, tell us a little about your coaching style differs.

Carrie Marshall: I like to say that I work with people that I am in full belief of the possibility of their lives. I love to be in full belief of my clients and in full love of who they are. But I also know that they come to work on their goals because they want to live into possibility. And so I take a very direct approach, sometimes I use the entire model, meaning that we’re going to talk about the actions that you’re going to take, it’s not just thoughts and feelings, but we need to dissect actions that are being taken or not taken. And then I’m also going to give you very direct shots of hard truth sometimes, but from the most loving space ever.

And so my clients know that that’s what is always through everything is that we are going to kind of have those direct conversations about when failure happens or when we’re not showing up, or when we’ve had an expectation, and it didn’t show up the way. Because most of the time, our friends and family are doing it from a space of love. But we’re not having these direct conversations. And that’s why I love coaching so much, is that it gives us a space to have harder questions asked, but to know that whatever the answer is, it’s great. And then we get to dissect it together. And so I love to be able to be a little bit more direct with my clients. But like I said, it comes from the most loving place possible, because I just love to live into possibility about their lives and what they’re trying to create.

Molly Claire: Okay, it’s so funny, because as you were talking, my wheels were turning and I was thinking, wait, that’s true, she is really direct. And because you definitely… like if someone said to describe you, I definitely don’t think of you as a very harsh or hard-nosed or anything. But you do have a very boldness and a directness. And it does come in such a soft connecting way with your clients. And I relate to that as well, because I can be pretty direct and clear. And yet that softness and connection is so important.

Carrie Marshall: I think it comes from the love and the connection that we want to have with people. I think that times directness and boldness come from an ego may be of like, listen, or I have something to say or I’m right. And that’s where it comes in differently is, I’m just like, I love you so much that I want to say this a little bit more direct. And then like I said, whatever happens after that, I’m all in for all of it.

Molly Claire: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And when you were talking about asking the hard questions, because just as Carrie is talking and knowing her style, and knowing how she coaches, I’m imagining that they feel like a challenge to the client, but they probably don’t ever experience it like a hard question or saying this thing that might offend or whatever like that just in the way you interact. And the other thing I was thinking as you were talking is that sometimes our friends and family won’t say those things, or when friends and family are direct, sometimes it comes from actually having a lot of judgment and opinion. So, this is a unique space in that way, for sure.

Carrie Marshall: It really is to be able to have questions asked from a non-judgmental space where once again, everything is private, and there’s no judgment for any of it, is such a unique place for coaching. That is the magic of coaching.

Molly Claire: Yes. Okay, Lisa M. I’m going to pick on you. What would you say about your coaching style? How does it differ?

Lisa Martinello: I was actually thinking about—when thinking about how to answer this question. I was thinking about what my clients are saying in their testimonials, that’s a good place where as coaches we can go. Sometimes it’s hard to say, how am I as a coach or as a person? One of the most common things that I hear in my testimonials is that I’m insightful, but also intuitive. And I feel like I’ve always felt this 50/50 dichotomy, of having a strategic mind, which is very helpful in some of the moments, like, I can see things clearly, and I will tell the truth. But also I have this more intuitive, feminine, playful-almost style with them. And I do feel like mastery over time has come from knowing when to push the pedal on one part of the other and just creating a balanced approach to that.

Because maybe you have a type A client that needs a little bit more reflecting on the inner world versus pushing on the actual mind so much. So, I do feel that discernment is one of my favorite things to understand in a coaching relationship. And so I also feel because of that, coaching may look different from one client to the other. And so that’s also something that is interesting to just normalize because, in the same way, we don’t want to be tied to one right way. We also want to enjoy our own style evolving, and also adapting to different clients, which is a gift to them.

Molly Claire: Yes, I know. As you were talking, I was thinking, that all three of you are really describing this connection with your client. And when you said that, Lisa, I remembered one day, having three calls back-to-back, and these three coaches that I was working with, could not have been more different. And it was almost like I was a different person with each of them. One was a very soft, very slow session. And the other was kind of let’s get this done. Very focused, very intense.

And it’s really fun, to allow yourself to really connect with those clients and be a little bit of a chameleon, or whatever we call it, right? Oh, I love it. This is so great. Okay, I have one last question for all of you. And that is, what do you wish you would have known when you first started learning how to coach? Or what advice might you give to a new coach? So, let’s hear it, what do you guys have?

Lisa Martinello: Well, I will just chime in and say – this is Lisa M. – that the biggest lesson that I would want to give myself from the past is to learn all of the things but remember that your authority lies inside and to really go to self-trust, which I know has been mentioned so many times in this call. But really, it is so important, because it’s always been true. The self-trust is important. It’s not something to have aha moments about, it’s always been true. So, once we know that, if we know that from the start, I like to think of coaching my clients, my clients are leaders in the making. So, I like to treat them as leaders from day one. We cannot defer our power and then imagine that one day we’re going to find it somewhere under a tree.

So, this is where I like to think about it, I’m just going to… what if we just start treating ourselves, even if we are in the infancy of our coaching career, as leaders in the making, or as whatever definition you have for where you want to be in the making, and know that you’re just collecting more pieces of that puzzle, more tools, more styles, but ultimately, it’s going to be you who will decide and shine in your own unique way.

Molly Claire: Yes. Oh, I love that. I actually meant to mention next week – those of you listening – next week, on Tuesday, I have a master class that will be a coaching mastery one. And so these amazing women will not be there, these women will be in the community. So, you can definitely get more of them there. But I do want to mention that it will be in the show notes. And so make sure to come to that because I really want to engage with you. And really help you apply a lot of the things that we’re talking about here, being able to be more intuitive, more connected to self, more connected to your clients. So, anyway, thanks for whatever you said, Lisa, spark that in my mind for these coaches. All right, who is next?

Lisa Hatlestad: Yeah, that was that was so good, Lisa. And I found myself thinking, why do people come to you as a coach? I think a lot of times we do get so hung up on it, certification, and then master certification and advanced certification and specialization. That’s all great. But people come to you for who you are. They’re going to feel that vibe through everything you do.

And the one thing that I wish the 2017 me would have known is it’s not a slip up to be yourself. It’s not like, “Oops, that part of me that I thought I was getting rid of and transcending came through.” It’s like when I really allowed myself, you know, with some self-knowledge and some…Yeah, it’s when you can be yourself because just like we were talking about earlier, that is the filter that your work is going to come through. Listen, I’ve been coaching for a while and it’s not the certifications that inform me most in my clients’ work. It is my trust in myself. And knowing myself and my trust that I can be myself, and that is going to serve the container of my coaching always.

Molly Claire: Yes. Oh my gosh, so amazing. This is why I have all of you here today, this is so good. Carrie?

Carrie Marshall: The thing that I want to offer is that your business and your journey is going to absolutely look different than anybody else’s. Just like everyone has mentioned here, I think that when we can take ownership of that faster, and understand that there is no blueprint that is going to design your life, it really creates a really amazing space, just like Lisa Hatlestad just mentioned of owning that it’s great to be you.

And then really getting around that community, again, of people to be able to talk with. I was able to stay connected with every single person in my certification class. And it has been such an amazing thing to be able to watch all of our different paths and to be able to still support one another as our businesses, and life has gone differently. But it was that community and those women all going through this together that has really been such an example to me that success looks different for every single person.

Molly Claire: Yes. Oh my gosh, I love it. You all are so brilliant. Thank you so much, again, for being here and sharing this. I know this is going to help so many coaches, especially those that are doubting their skills, not that any of us ever doubted our skills or panicked that we were doing it wrong. But some people definitely get caught up in that. So, thank you all for sharing your wisdom and giving permission for these coaches to figure out their own coaching styles. Alright, thanks for being here, everyone.

Carrie Marshall: Thank you so much, Molly.

Molly Claire: Bye.

Outro: Thanks for listening to the Masterful Coach Podcast. If you’re ready for complete support as you build your coaching business, check out Molly’s collaborative community, the Masterful Coach Collective. It’s a place where you’ll have access to the best experts in the biz, community support, and guidance as you build your perfect business 90 days at a time. Visit www.mollyclaire.com for details.