[00:00:00] michelle: Molly, welcome to the calm mom podcast. I'm so grateful to have you with us. Thanks for making the time to be here.  

[00:00:09] Molly: Thank you. I'm just, I'm so excited. Yeah, this is going to be  

[00:00:12] michelle: good. We were talking a little bit before we hit record about how we operate in very similar spheres, I think, in a lot of ways. Um, so I'm excited to see where that leads today, but before we start, could you just introduce yourself? 

to our audience and let them know a little bit about you and the work that you're doing.  

[00:00:32] Molly: Yes. So, um, I am Molly Clare. I'm a single mom of three and um, I About 10 years ago, wrote the happy mom mindset, um, which was a part of my, um, as I was just starting my coaching business. So I started out working with moms and, um, now in my career, what I do is I train coaches and master coaches to be able to have a, holistic way of helping their clients, just like you do with your clients, right? 

Where you're really helping them understand the whole picture of them. So, so that's what I do. I love my work. I love helping women to feel strong and feel capable and to meet their goals and  

[00:01:21] michelle: That's beautiful. Yeah. I'm curious. Um, because you know, we all have our own journey. And when I decided I was going to become certified as a master coach, I had this naive is that you've thought that I was going to this program to, um, learn all of these skills, like all of these tools for my toolbox. 

So I would be able to then turn around and help so many people. Um, and what I didn't realize, and it was such a. beautiful gift was that my world was going to be turned upside down and my way, right? Like I would learn so much and I would be healed in so many ways. And my paradigms would be challenged and my mindsets would be adjusted about so many things. 

Like I just didn't see it coming. Um, and I would love to hear a little bit about, you know, maybe your journey at the beginning, like how you decided to really get into this work. And you know, it always starts with us, and it's like, we have to learn the lesson and then we can teach the lesson. Um, but I'd love to hear a little bit about it from your, your seat. 

[00:02:23] Molly: Yes. And I mean, I can tell you kind of from two perspectives. I mean, when I'm, when I'm training my master coaches, that's, it's like everything we do in there, right. Is let's do this for you first. Let's apply this to you. And then we extend that to your clients. Right. And it's the same thing, even for a mom. 

Right. So just speaking to the moms here. We, there are things we still have to learn so that we can then offer that to our clients. Even like Michelle, and I will get to your question, but I just, I have to say like with the work you do with helping your clients with nervous system regulation, you know, it's like when, when we show up as a mom and we have regulation and steadiness. 

It, it creates a space where our kids can learn it. Right. And so, so it's like, it's, it's the exact same thing, but back to your question about me. Yeah. When I, I actually found coaching at a time when I. Did need it. And I felt the effects. I had a coaching session that just immediately shifted the way I was thinking. 

And I thought, Oh my gosh, I need more of this and I want to be a part of this. And maybe this is the thing that I've always felt I wanted to do. Right. And so I definitely got into it because I found the value in it personally. But yes, I had no idea, right? It's like, I, I honestly feel like. I love that I get to help people. 

I want to help more and more people and have an enormous impact. And if, if I never made a dime in my business or never helped anyone else, all of the time and energy and money I've invested in my training, just the way it's impacted me personally. Yeah, I  

[00:04:12] michelle: couldn't agree more. And it's also, um, part of, part of my enlightening, I guess, in, in beginning my own certification program was how many blind spots I had, um, in my own life. 

And it's why I vowed like, as long as I'm coaching women or people, I will always have a coach because we're just, we don't know what we don't know.  

[00:04:35] Molly: That's right. We, we, it's impossible for us to truly have, uh, that higher level view of ourselves. We can have certain insights, we can gain more awareness, but I think having a coach that can show you what you can't see. 

And can help you even with the awareness that you do have, be able to integrate it in a practical way in your life. It's everything. I will always have a coach. Yeah,  

[00:05:03] michelle: exactly. Same. Um, yeah, I, I'm, I'm completely, I'm all in on it. And, um, I think one of the, the gifts of having a coach and the beautiful things about it is that so often we have all of these, you know, things going on in our life. 

And I think just because of the way our brain. works and probably a lot of how our society is built. We can get really sucked into compartmentalizing our things, right? Like, okay, I'm having a parenting issue. I need to go to like a parenting guru or I'm having, you know, a financial issue and I need to get a financial planner or I'm having, you know, health issues and I need to go see, you know, this kind of doctor. 

Um, and while I think it's, you know, Awesome to have people who can go deep in a lot of these specialties. Um, we're integrated beings and everything affects everything. And I know that's a big part of the work that you do and teach is like, this is holistic. Um, and can you just like, for people who are listening, who understand or are curious, or like, I hear that a lot, but I don't really understand what people are talking about. 

Like, what does it mean to you to be able to offer a service or a coaching that really is holistic for people?  

[00:06:14] Molly: Yeah, I mean it's a great question because I think a lot of people hear the word holistic in relation to my coach training And they typically think of help they think of like holistic remedies or nutrition or food and What it really means is exactly what you said, that we are integrated beings. 

And so it's like, it's having a whole person view of the client in front of you. So while each of my coaches typically do specialize in something, right? Parenting or motherhood or weight loss or relationships in truth, they are actually trained and qualified. To be able to support their clients in navigating all of it because all of those parts of our lives are integrated and You know specifically to to what I mean when I say holistic or whole person view It's not even necessarily about the different areas of our life as it is that we need to understand Where our thought patterns our mindset our beliefs right that cognitive piece fits in with our emotions, our emotional experience, right? 

That emotional resilience and an emotional resiliency is one of the key things. So like my, the whole person approach really includes, um, mind mastery. Emotional resilience and then aligned habits. And one of the things within emotional resilience is also the nervous system, which I know, Michelle, you teach and talk about these things all the time. 

So if you're all thinking, this sounds familiar, this is why, right? It's real. It's how, it's how we need to be supported as humans. And so, so for my coaches and the, and the work I do, it is making sure that My coaches understand when they're talking with a mom who's struggling with parenting or her relationship or whatever it is, right? 

That we understand when and where do we need to take a look at the thoughts that are happening here? When and where do we need that emotional support, some processing or to understand some grounding techniques and where can we also fit in some of these habits because there are different Ways we can approach any challenge that we're having. 

And sometimes we can also have a multifaceted approach where we're kind of combining some of those. So hopefully that makes sense as far as what this whole person holistic. Yeah,  

[00:08:38] michelle: absolutely. That's helpful. Um, and I'm just, you know, Reflecting on what you've shared about your journey, like a tiny little snippet, but as a single mom of three and growing this business, um, none of that is easy and I would imagine that doing all of it presents its own set of challenges. 

Um, but even before taking that first step, it requires enormous amount of courage and confidence, I think, um, to start to build anything. And I know there are women listening and maybe it's not a business, but maybe it's something else. Maybe their passion, they have a, you know, a passion project, or maybe it's being involved in their community or doing something with their children. 

Or maybe it's changing careers, or maybe it is growing a business that they've always wanted to do. Um, talk to them. I would love to hear a little bit about like, just even finding that confidence and taking the first step to pursue these things as a mom. Cause I think it's different.  

[00:09:35] Molly: Yes. Yes. You know, a couple things come to my mind immediately, and one is that it requires some level of belief or confidence in ourselves to take that first step, and I also want to say right alongside that, even if you don't have a ton of confidence or belief in yourself, You can make a decision right now that one day you will have that belief and confidence and you're going to do that thing no matter what and figure it out. 

And I would say that, you know, for me, that was, you know, in, in part, part of my driving force behind saying I am going to build this business, I am going to do this is, so I found coaching. Um, again, at a time when I really needed it, I thought this is something I want to be a part of. Right. And at the time, my, my, I was struggling in my marriage. 

So it was kind of these two things intersected at the same time. And so I was building my business, right. Continuing to master my skills, learning how to run a business and becoming a single mom at the same time. And, um, As women, whether we realize it or not, we have all these beliefs in the background telling us that we can't make as much money as men can make. 

And, um, and on top of that, and I think this is a big deal as women, we tend to take on too much and not ask for enough support around us. And so, here I was, you know, becoming a single mom, terrified of recreating what I experienced growing up was an exhausted, burned out single mom who I never saw because she was working to put food on the table. 

I didn't want that for me. I did not want that for my kids. I wanted to be present with them. And so, I think all of this came together for me to say. I don't know how, but I'm going to figure this out because over my dead body, are my kids going to experience what I did? And am I going to experience what my mom did? 

And so I had just enough confidence and just enough understanding of the power of mindset to say, I'm going to commit to figuring this out no matter what. So I know that may be like a, a bigger story, you know, like I'm doing air quotes and then some people, right? Because whatever it is you want to do and you may listen and think, Oh, well I want to do this thing, but it's not as big, but that's actually not true. 

If you have a desire to do something and you're hesitant. Just think about why you want to do it. Anchor yourself in that and decide that you're just going to take that first step. And maybe one day you'll be all the way there. I think that's really all it takes. Wow. That's  

[00:12:25] michelle: beautiful. Um, and I feel like this is such a great set up for something that I wanted to talk to you about, which is worthiness. 

Um, because I know that you're passionate about it and in hearing your story, I think all of us can relate to a certain extent because, you know, no matter how. Our family of origin looked or our story. Look, there are things that I know we all want to do differently with our own kids. Right. And a big part of that is like even stepping out, like you said, in confidence or maybe future confidence, there has to be an element of, of Um, actually believing that future Molly or future Michelle is, is worthy of the sacrifice that I'm making now, or she's worthy of the courage it's going to take to do this because of what I'm setting up for my future self. 

Um, and I would love to just hear your thoughts on especially worthiness, I think with, with moms, because I think so often we're just like pouring out for everyone and we come last. And part of that. It's really beautiful, um, but without healthy guardrails, it can lead to a lot of resentment. Um, or, and, and this, I think this underlying mindset ultimately that we're not worthy of rest or care or love or to be held or enjoying beautiful things or whatever it is, um, that can drive a lot of us to exhaustion. 

[00:13:48] Molly: Yeah. And I think it's like, we're not worthy. We're not allowed, I shouldn't need this much time or help, I should be able to do more, I'm selfish if I spend time doing things for me, all of this stuff, right? And here's what I'll say, I think most likely everyone listening probably has a little more work to do on worthiness, probably. 

I can say that I do 100 percent and I keep working on it, but I think that, and I'll, I'll speak to it in general and then speak to these moms specifically, but, um, it is something that's been on my mind so much because, um, You know, I, I do the master coach training and then I'm also doing a program for high level leaders. 

And so we're talking about like in that space, it's very much about leading your team to meet goals, right? It's, it's very tangible. It's very much leadership. It's kind of this more, um, what would I say? Sort of this like masculine energy of that's very different, right? Then this piece of feeling worthy and permission. 

And, but what's interesting is that. In the corporate setup, where it is all about achieving goals and success and these tangible things. If we don't feel worthy, we won't do those things. And if you're leading a team and the people you're working with are struggling with how they feel about themselves, your job as a leader is to help infuse in them. 

That belief in themselves, right? That worthiness because it changes everything. So it's been on my mind so much and it is a thread throughout everything. And, and with respect to like you as moms and this worthiness, I think that what's so interesting, and I know you know this, Michelle, and you've seen this, I'm sure so much. 

Is that whether we realize it or not, we all have have things from our past traumas, things we missed out on, whatever it was. Right. And when we have kids. It brings up oftentimes us trying to make up for what we didn't have. And we get this idea that we prove our worthiness or we prove our value by doing a good job as a mom. 

And one of the ways we get really stuck, and this is a big thing. And I do talk about this in my book, this trap of like believing it's our responsibility to make sure our kids succeed. And what that means in our mind is that they have to. It hits certain markers, right? And, and the reality is that as moms, it's super important for us to distinguish between what we do as a mom, because I believe what we do is important. 

I want to show up for my kids. I want to be consistent. I want to attune to their needs. I want to be a good mom and what my kids do with that or who my kids are and what their path is, is very different than that. And so, you know, I think that, I know I'm getting off on a little bit of a, a tangent there because I do feel like it's a trap that we can get caught in, but I just want to say to all of you listening, like your worth and your worthiness has absolutely nothing to do with anything you do. 

Whether you're being a quote unquote good mom, not a good mom, whether you're being what you think is a great mom and your kids going off the rails. All of that is just, they're just behaviors. There's just problems to solve. There's things to figure out. But you as a human being are so worthy. You are so capable and you are so lovable. 

And I'm going to tell you like right now, and I hope you really hear this. That you need to first and foremost, take care of yourself and who you are. Because you are worthy. You are deserving of it. And only when you're well taken care of, can you really offer everyone around you what you want.  

[00:17:58] michelle: I'm just going to let that simmer for a minute because it's so good. 

It's  

so good. And, um, it's something that I love to teach on too, is like, we were all born. With maximum worthiness and like nothing, nothing changes that. And, and it's so counter to what we're taught, I think. Um, and, and for those of you listening, who've listened for a while, you've probably heard me share this before, but it's something that, um, a few years ago, I started to even get really intentional about. 

with my children because I noticed, especially when they started school, which is kind of getting into your thing about measuring our, right? How good of a job I'm doing as a parent by how well they're doing in school and all of these different things. And I'm like, no, I'm coming against this because I know this is a lie. 

Um, but I would notice that I'd pick them up and my instinct right away was to be like, how'd the spelling test go, right? Like all the, all the words we had studied how to go or asking them about these things, which was ultimately prioritizing. Their achievements over just their being, right? Like how, how was their day overall? 

And I stopped asking about all of those school things that were just like the achievement base, um, and really opening it up to like, what's an interesting conversation you had today, or just like something else, because I think so many of us, especially as millennial women, we've just been like, man, we've just been primed to achieve all of these things and base our worthiness on them. 

Um, and when my kids were really little. I remember just asking them like, why do I love you? And it became like a game, but, and, and they, they knew it. So they would say all the cute things like, because I'm smart or because I'm cute or because I helped, you know, load the dishwasher. And I would just be like, nope, nope, nope. 

And then by the end, you know, it'd be like, I just love you because you're mine. Like, I love you because you exist. I love you because you're perfect. Just how you are, whatever it was, but it's that reinforcement, which I just love what you're talking about. It's a reinforcement that like your worthiness is inherent. 

[00:19:49] Molly: Yeah. Mm hmm. And I think, I love that you say that, and I, I'll share a little bit different way that I vocalize it too, because I think that it is important to vocalize that to our kids to reinforce it. It reinforces it to them and it reminds us at the same time, right? And so, yeah, with my daughter, when she, you know, achieves something or whatever I'll say. 

I'm so excited for you, right? Like I'm so like proud of your work on this and you know what? I, it has nothing to do with how much I love you. I do not love you any more now than I did five minutes ago, you know? And sometimes she'll say, well, that's too bad, right? She's like wanting to earn a little more, but I think over time it's like they realize, right? 

Because it's great when they come home and say, yes, what I did. But what about when they come home and they know they didn't do something, or they did something that wasn't so great, right? It's like, we want them to know you're amazing no matter what you did. Yeah. It takes the pressure  

[00:20:54] michelle: off. And I think so many, like so often, um, if we're, If we're in that achievement mindset and we have to do things and we get caught up in whatever it is perfectionism or however it shows up as adults, um, it's stifling because we're terrified to make mistakes and take risks and all of these things. 

But when we have that safety net of like, especially as kids, right? Like I'm unconditionally loved regardless of what, like you're, you're helping them build a muscle. That will pay off big time. Yes.  

[00:21:26] Molly: Yes. And you know what? I love that you said that. And I, I want to just highlight this for everyone listening, because I think that it can be easy for, you know, us to listen to something like this. 

And for us to start thinking, Oh, I need to do a better job of communicating my kid's worth to them. Like, so if anyone is like going down that rabbit hole, it really is learning this stuff and just realizing that when we learn something. We need to build the muscle of kind of bringing it into our everyday practice and having it be normal, right? 

So it just, it takes a little bit of time.  

[00:22:06] michelle: I love that. Um, you're talking about building a muscle of it and I love that we're also talking about, especially with worthiness, but so many of this stuff being a lifelong journey, right? Or a lifelong practice and having more work to do. We just moved from Miami where we're living in Houston right now. 

And um, A few days ago, I guess the day before yesterday, uh, we got invited to go to a dinner and we're living out of suitcases right now. Like our stuff hasn't made it from Miami and nothing to wear. I brought like, I'm wearing a hoodie right now. Like I had nothing to wear. Um, and my husband's like, go to the mall and go buy yourself something to wear to dinner tomorrow. 

And I'm going to watch the girls. And I'm like, wow, like I haven't been alone in like, you know, three weeks since we left our house. I'm like, that sounds like such a joy and a treat. I'm going to go do that. Um, and I drove to. The nearest mall I could find, um, cause I have no idea what I'm doing. And I walked in and, um, you talk about all of these stories that happen, like just are built in childhood. 

But I walk into this mall after I park and, um, it's just like Prada, Louis Vuitton, like all the, like, those are the stores that are at this place. And immediately, and I do a lot of somatic work, like I felt it in my body. You have no business being here and my shoulders tensed up and like, I'm just like walking around and I'm like, well, I can't spend that much money on a pair of pants or on a pair of shoes or whatever. 

Like this is, this is, this is an irresponsible or whatever stories were coming up. And I, I'm so great. I caught it in the moment and I'm like, Whoa, like so much of my stuff is coming up and it was, a lot of it is tied not only to worthiness, but feeling safe enough to To receive these things, because I think that's like, do we feel safe enough to receive rest? 

Do we feel safe enough to go after our dreams? And there's a worthiness aspect. Um, and I bought a pair of sneakers that, that just felt like such a splurge for me. And I came home and I was like, so proud of myself. But the amount of like intentionality it took for me in my body to be like, it's, it's actually okay for you to spend this much money on a pair of shoes, regardless of like all the stories that you have coming up around that, regardless of how like unsafe that feels. 

And that's like a, you know, a stupid little story, but. It, it, it opened such a bigger picture to other areas in my life. Right. Where I'm either playing small or thinking I'm not worthy or I don't belong or imposter syndrome or whatever it is. Um, and it is, it's, it's a, you know, this is the, you and I teach these things and we learn them also. 

It's like never ending.  

[00:24:41] Molly: And yes, and this is our daily experience. I know, right. I feel, I feel so lucky that it is. It's, it's just kind of like, um, Being in this constant space of being able to, you know, learn these things at a, at a deeper level as you're teaching others. And, and we're not exempt from it, which is, which is, I think, what allows us to help people right. 

And the way we do, because 

[00:25:06] michelle: yeah, beautiful. Um,  

[00:25:08] Molly: and, and I think, you know, I was just going to say, you know, again, to, to women listening and, you know, as moms, I think that I mentioned this earlier, but it's, It's very easy for us to struggle to ask for help or believe that we need help and I just, again, I like use this word permission. 

I think it's important that we really do give ourselves permission and allow ourselves to be human. Why would we not need help? That, like, we, as human beings, we are designed to connect. We are designed to have interdependence in our lives. And, and I think that, um, especially as, as women, we can, we can believe that we're supposed to hold. 

More things than, than is humanly possible, you know, and I know that, um, one of the things I teach, and I know that you teach a version of this as well, is this idea that when we can, we can increase our, our regulation, right? Work on our nervous system and our emotions, we do expand our capacity, which is a beautiful thing, right? 

It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. And please, all of you give yourself permission to be human. If you need a nap, if you need a minute to yourself, that is a need that you have as a human being, and you're allowed to take care of your needs and ask for them.  

[00:26:37] michelle: Oh, that's such a good point. 

There's so much, there's a beautiful tension there. Um, and I think for myself, I, I spent a long, especially when I started really learning about the nervous system, focusing on expanding my capacity, and that was a goal. And you know, it's so interesting. I actually found more. Freedom when I changed my focus to actually embracing my limitations and that's exactly what you're getting at. 

It's like, yes, I want to be able to expand my capacity, but I also want to be fully aware of and not ashamed of my limp, my humanity. Right. And all of that. Yeah.  

[00:27:12] Molly: Yes. Yes. I was just having a conversation about this, uh, uh, yesterday actually, because, you know, one of the things I, um, I noticed is, The work, you know, different aspects of my work that I do affect me differently. 

And some of it can be, it can take quite a bit out of me. It takes a lot of concentration, a lot of high level focus, right? And my brain can be pretty tapped out early in the day. Cause I'm a morning person and I've noticed feeling really guilty and embarrassed that sometimes by 1130 AM, I just, I don't have any more in me. 

And it's kind of like, it's like. Yes, when we can, when we can open the door to saying, okay, maybe what I'm feeling or needing or experiencing, maybe the way I am is okay. How can I make space for that? And I think what then happens, what opens the door, and this speaks to, to both things that you're talking about here is number one for me, right in this situation is when I can say, okay, if I can pay attention to my needs. 

And attend to that and put some things in place so that maybe I do plan my day. So then at this point in time, I get to go meditate or journal or walk or whatever, it's, it's freeing because it's like, Oh, now I don't have to believe everything's wrong with me. And then also by putting those things in place to care for myself, what does it do? 

It actually expands my ability to be effective in other ways, right? So it's this, it's, it  

[00:28:50] michelle: sure is. I think of it as, um, like a slingshot and sometimes I've got to like pull back or feels like I'm pulling at the perception of pulling back, but then it's actually catapulting me forward in a much more efficient way. 

[00:29:04] Molly: Yes. And you know, the other thing is I think every time we give ourselves permission to notice that we have a need. And to say, I'm going to take care of this need. It actually also reinforces this idea that we are worthy and that we are worthy of care instead of ignored. So like an easy thing, even like everyone listening can do this, right? 

Get in the habit of asking yourself, if you noticed like attention, a tightness, a stress, anything at all, just asking yourself, just like you would ask your best friend. What do you need right now? Self, right? Like, what do I need right now? What can I do for you? And oftentimes, just that question alone can create a release and feel supported. 

Or sometimes the answer is something so small, but we're so afraid of having needs. That's right. That's  

[00:29:59] michelle: right. And it, you know, we talked about, um, talking about the, the, the marriage of merit of, of mindset and mindfulness, the meeting point. Um, and that's really a lot of what I hear in that too, is that it requires us to slow down enough to pay attention to what our body's communicating and then to notice, right. 

To, to, and then to honor it, what our body's doing. Telling us that it needs. Um, and we weren't, we weren't taught these things, um, you know, but we can learn them now and that's, that's, that's mindfulness.  

[00:30:32] Molly: Yes. And I, I'm so glad you brought this up because I think, so when we think about mindfulness or mindset, right? 

Like mind over matter, mindset and the way we think about things matters in a big way, having a positive outlook, creating resilience. And I just want to throw out there that also we can use those concepts in a way where we're actually trying to override the nervous system, override our body, right? 

Minimize our needs. So what this looks like is, you know, if I'm, if I'm struggling to, you know, get through a hectic day, right? Maybe I'm like, whatever it is, right? Kids, household. And if I'm feeling something underneath. Maybe I don't even know what it is, right? I'm feeling something. And then I immediately go to, I can do this. 

I'm just going to put a smile on, I'm just going to power through. Then, then what we start doing is we start actually neglecting what's going on for us. And so I think that, I think for everyone, if you're using. Positive thinking, you know, uh, a powerful mindset and you're always trying to change the story of what's going on in your mind. 

And maybe you're noticing feeling a little more burned out. This is when you want to pause and say. Hold on a minute. Yes, I can have a positive outlook and what's going on for me. What am I needing? Because mindset without understanding and connecting with our emotions will override what we need emotionally until we get burned out and being aware of our emotions without the awareness of mindset kind of. 

Can, can, I want, I don't know, I'm trying to say this in the right way, like, can make us a little directionless, or I guess a better way of saying it is, can keep us from maybe moving forward in ways that we would like to. And so I think the awareness of both is crucial, which is why it's important to have a coach that understands all this, right? 

I  

[00:32:38] michelle: couldn't agree more. Yeah. I think we see that a lot, right? We feel, um, I don't know if it's a guilt or shame around our emotions because we think we can, we should be able to bypass them with positivity or whatever it is. Or, or we, or people mean well, and it's things like, well, everything happens for a reason, or just look on the bright side or, you know, whatever it is. 

And it's like, that might actually even be true. And it's so unhelpful right now because I can't just. Bypass this, like, like this is in my life because it's asking me to deal with it and learn something and feel something or whatever it is before I can pass this, this lesson or this stage of my life. 

Yeah. Yes. Wow. That's so beautiful. Um, okay. I want to end kind of here. Um, in your book, you talk about a lot of these mindsets, especially for moms and that's who's listening. So I wonder if you could share maybe a mindset. Either a mindset that you see really often, um, that a lot of people carry that they might be surprised to grow in awareness of today, um, or something like an invitation to a new mindset that has a high or quick ROI. 

Maybe that people are like, Whoa, that would make such a big difference for me if I started to see things this way.  

[00:33:53] Molly: Yeah, yeah, I definitely will. And I think, you know, so yeah, in the book there, it's like the seven mom traps, which really are all kind of mindset traps that we kind of get caught in, right. 

And, and, and the way to switch those. And so. It's hard to pick, but I'm, I'm going to pick this is the one I'm going to pick.  

[00:34:14] michelle: So it'll be the teaser. So everyone has to read the book.  

[00:34:18] Molly: This will be the teaser, right?  

[00:34:19] michelle: So everyone has to read the book.  

[00:34:21] Molly: Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I mean, because really it is, it's a very practical book and it is the, the mindset shifts, there's a lot of things to help you think differently and a lot of things you can actually do as well. 

So one of them that if you are a mom, you are going to relate to this to some degree, and that is this idea that. When you first bring your child home, and keep in mind, so my kids now are 22, almost 20, and almost 14. So it's been a while for me, right? But this still exists for me and I have to be aware of it. 

So, you bring your child home from the hospital, right? And, All of a sudden you are responsible for the needs of another human being staying alive, right? So every noise, every movement, everything is an indication that they have a need. And we get so tuned into that and we take so much of it on. And what happens is because, you know, one of the things we know about our brain. 

And our survival brain is that we want to be efficient. We want to automate as many things as we can. Right. And so as a mom, we start learning this child and we start just automatically. It's like we are one with their, their body and their needs. Right. And we just jumped to it. And then over time, as our kids continue to grow, it can be very challenging because we're so close to it. 

To see the things that we are automatically doing and jumping in and do it. I refer to this as like mock autopilot, where we're just doing the things. And so I think that one mindset shift that I'll offer everyone here is maybe, maybe. You're doing more things than you actually need to do. I don't know. 

I'm not the one to judge that, but I would take a minute to evaluate right now. What are the things I am immediately responding to and how can I pause and take some more things off my plate? Not just because, oh, I'm too busy. I need to take them off my plate. But because it might actually be in everybody's best interest, including your kids and your spouse. 

For you to take it off  

[00:36:34] michelle: your I know. I love that so much. Um, I think that's beautiful. And I think it, it then like the, um, the result of that is so multifaceted in that one, we then have more space and, and time and all of these things that we say that we want. Right. Um, and yes. It really empowers those around us, like our children and our partners to do a lot of these things that we've been, I don't know, I don't say enabling maybe isn't the word, but like just doing on autopilot. 

Yeah.  

[00:37:06] Molly: And we mean well, right? We mean well. And so if you start evaluating and you're thinking, Oh my gosh, I'm doing too much. I'm being a helicopter mom. No, you're just figuring it out. We're all figuring it out. Give yourself permission to take a look and see what things you maybe don't need to do anymore. 

And then go  

[00:37:23] michelle: put your feet up and because you're because you deserve it, right? You're worthy of it.  

[00:37:30] Molly: That's right. And it's good for you. It's like I think about like trees, right? A tree just holds still a tree takes in nutrients and it's just still but what does it do? It gives shade. It gives oxygen. 

That's good. Right?  

[00:37:44] michelle: I love that. Beautiful. Thank you for that. Um, I'll link the book in the show notes for you guys too, for those of you who want to read the rest of these mindsets, um, and, and traps to avoid. I think that's so wise, uh, for everyone listening. enjoyed your wisdom. Uh, let them know where they can find you, where they can continue to learn from you. 

[00:38:06] Molly: Yes. Yes. So of course the book is all about you as moms. You can get that book. Um, those, anyone who is interested in Master coach certification or my coach certification and leadership training, go to mollyclair. com. Very easy to remember. And I do have a podcast. So the masterful coach podcast, where I am all about helping you understand how to implement lasting change. 

I talk about this multifaceted approach, understanding mindset, emotions, and actions, and, and also just this, this really important piece that I think all of us as human beings need to learn, which is how to truly take care of ourselves in a big way so that we can have beautiful.  

[00:38:51] michelle: Wow. What a mission. I love it. 

Well, thank you so much. Thanks for being with us. Thanks for making the time. Thanks for sharing. Um, all of these, I mean, really like. Big picture thoughts, but then also really practical handles that everyone's leaving with today. So thanks again.  

[00:39:07] Molly: Yes. Thank you so much for having me Yay 

Mikki: I love that, thank you.