Molly Claire 00:45

Hello, everyone. I am thrilled to bring my guest today, Candy, who is a business coach who specializes in empowering intelligent professionals to launch and grow a successful coaching business. I'm going to tell you a little bit more about her, but welcome to the show, Candy. 

Candy Motzek 01:05

Thank you for having me. I'm really looking forward to the conversation. 

Molly Claire 01:09

You know, I think this is going to be such a great conversation because I know that in particular you work with a lot of women who are mid 40s burned out from their job, their career done with it, and really know that they need more. And I love that you come from this approach. And I think there are a lot of unique things that are happening for us as women in that period of time. 

Candy Motzek 01:34

Oh, totally. Whether it's perimenopause, or the children getting older, or you just woke up one day and realize that there's got to be more to life than what you're doing, you know? There's this place where so often on the outside, everything looks so good. But how do you feel on the inside? And that's the sign that I see with my clients that decide they really need to make a change. They just say, I just feel hollow. I feel empty. I feel numb. And it's time for a change. 

Molly Claire 02:10

Yeah, yeah. And I know, you know, for you, because you come for your former corporate executive engineer, and you come from a background of being in that place, right, where you, you were having success in your professional life, but internally, just wasn't quite matching up. 

Candy Motzek 02:29

Exactly. Yeah. And I think that it's pretty common. So I was like many people, every new promotion that was added, every bonus, every stretch assignment, sure, I was all in, I would just take it. I kept thinking that doing more, having more was going to give me the meaningful life. And so whether it's the next trip or buying the really neat thing, or getting a great new car, I kept thinking that that would be satisfying. And it was, but like, for such a short period of time, and then I'd be back in this chasing place again, waiting to find the next thing that would make me happy, make me have a meaningful life. And then I realized I'd forgotten who I was, you know? And that's a pretty scary place to be. 

Molly Claire 03:23

Yeah. And as we talk about this, you know, I'm not sure those of you listening, I don't know exactly where this conversation is going to go. We're just going to have a really heartfelt conversation that I know is going to be of huge benefit to you. But some of the things that I look forward to talking with you about Candy are number one, that journey of coming back to life again, right? For you and for your clients as you're helping them come back to life. And also, I'd love to have a conversation about some of the challenges that you see with your clients as they are coming out of a very structured, rule-oriented field or, you know, corporate system and the uncertainty of having a coaching business. So we're going to talk about that because I know all those of you listening, no matter what your background is, you know, we come into coaching and it's like, we're kind of making this up as we go, right? And so, so how do we do that? 

Candy Motzek 04:19

Yeah, exactly. And I mean, I don't know about you, but there used to be this, we would do this MSU style management, you know, where we'd all kind of blankly look at each other over the boardroom table and just say, yeah, it's the making stuff up version. Like we don't know what we're doing. And I think coaching can be like that, but it doesn't have to feel like that from a frantic perspective. It can feel like that from a creative perspective. I am creating, I am making things up because I'm creating new things. Yeah. 

Molly Claire 04:51

So, let's talk a little bit about, first of all, those of you listening, how many of you can relate to being here right now as you're building your coaching business, listening to this podcast, because you also realized that you wanted something more. You were craving more. You weren't feeling really alive in your life. If you relate to this to any degree, that's what we're going to talk about. And so, Candy, talk a little bit about when your clients come to you, what are some of the signs that they really are ready to make this change? Like, what are they experiencing in their life that is an indication that they need to be serious about making this change? 

Candy Motzek 05:35

Yeah. So I see two rough groups of people. You know, every individual is a complete unique individual, but there's sort of these two groupings. Sometimes people come to me because they want true personal development, life coaching. And then once they start on that path, they realize how much they enjoy these kinds of coaching conversations. They start to read more, they start to take more workshops, and they start to see the growth in themselves. And that growth is magnetic. Like it's really something that pulls them forward. And so those people often will come to me after a couple of months and say, gosh, I love this. You know, I really want to do this too. And so that's the first group. The second group are the people who are already on that path of searching for something different. They already know something doesn't feel quite right in their life, and they might have looked at a few different things so far, but they're just not exactly sure what the thing that they want is. So they're already in searching mode. So the way I love to describe them is we've got like the seekers. The second group is the seekers. And the first group are the people who were kind of waking up. And so those are the way that I see them come into becoming a coach. 

Molly Claire 07:06

And as you were talking, I was thinking about you using this word creativity, right? And talking about, yes, all of us as coaches, we are, in a sense, making this path up as we go, right? We all choose how we deliver our coaching. We all have a certain style of coaching, we learn, you know, we truly are creating the path. And when you talked about that creativity piece, what came to mind for me is that the creativity that we bring as coaches, is I think part of what can bring us back to life. If we've been in a career or living a life where we're just following the plan, checking the boxes and trying to hit these markers of success. Oftentimes, we lose that creative piece. And I kind of think that is one piece of what makes us helps us come alive. But what are your thoughts about that? 

Candy Motzek 08:04

Yeah, and I like this conversation and I like the kind of the question around it. Creativity is, to put a point on it, it's a divine act, right? Like you think of, I mean, you work with a lot of women, I work with a lot of women, this idea of creativity, of growing a child, you know, growing a child and birthing our children, there is a creativity there. A new idea is a creative idea, a new project is a creative project. And because I believe that there is an alignment between creativity and our connection with the divine, it allows us to get closer to who we really are. And so when we start on the creative path, there's an element of play and curiosity. And I don't exactly know what's going to happen here. But that there's a little spark that happens. And then we're on, then we're on the roll, right? Like what do you what do you feel? 

Molly Claire 09:08

Yes, yes. I mean, as you're talking, anyone who can't see the, I know some people are just listening and can't see the video, but it's like, as Candy's talking, my eyes are just lighting up. It's like, yes, that's what it is. Because I think over time, too many of us become less connected to our creativity, because we downplay the importance of it, but there is an aliveness in our creativity. Our creativity is truly, I love the way you said that, it is connection to, this isn't exactly how you said it, but I'm doing my best to say it again, our creativity is connected to the divine within us and really brings to light more of who we are, which is just such a powerful thing, right? It's that spiritual piece that comes in through creativity. 

Candy Motzek 09:57

Yeah, very much. When I'm working with the people who are the ones that are feeling discontented with their life, I'll often ask them to go back and do the simple creative things that they would have done when they were a child. I'm not asking them to go to the, what did you want to be when you grow up? It's not that, but it's like, did you love coloring or did you love doing, you know, yarn crafts or something like that? Just go and do it for a little bit and just sort of allow yourself that sort of the luxury of doing the little fun thing that doesn't have an overt purpose. It doesn't have some great measure that we need to get to, but just go and color for a little bit or knit for a little bit or do something that's fun where you're actually making something. I wish I could think of a synonym for the word creative, but it's like there's this bringing something new into being, right? 

Molly Claire 10:57

And even as you were talking, my mind kind of went to even just allowing space for play, right? Because what came to mind, and I'm trying to think of, okay, what am I creating when I do this? But something I love, I love to go to the rock climbing gym. It's one of my favorite things to do. And every time I start turning it into achievement or thinking I need to learn all these extra skills, it just ruins it for me. But what I love, just yesterday, I went over to the climbing gym in the afternoon, and I feel like a kid, right? And I'm just determined, and I'm rushing up the wall, and there is something about creating that space to do something that we just enjoy, that we just love. And so there's a creativity even in the play, right? Yes. 

Candy Motzek 11:46

Well, and yet they are, they're a little bit synonymous. They're slightly different side of a coin, but they're the same coin. And I did something very similar. I've kind of put it to the side for now. But for me, when I was going through a heavy burnout time, I took up dance as an adult. And that was my space. Like the movement combined with the music and the intense focus. And I'm wondering if that happens with you and the rock climbing, too. There's this piece of like a real single-minded focus. It allowed me to just enjoy myself to get out of my head, to allow myself to be as opposed to always being this, the doing the doing machine. 

Molly Claire 12:35

Absolutely. I've thought about that. It's like when I go, you know, I'm intensely focusing right on getting up the wall, and it just kind of forces me to let everything else go. Let all the details of life go. It's pretty magical. So your clients, you know, most of us can relate to kind of feeling a little lost, feeling a little burned out, wanting something more. And as you're helping your clients with this path and specifically those that start building a coaching business, I want to talk about something that I know I have seen time and time again with my clients, a challenge that comes up that you and I talked about a little bit before we started recording, which is the challenge in coming from a background where there are a lot of rules and there is a clear path to succeed versus building a coaching business where there are no rules and there's a lot of uncertainty. So let's talk about that. Either what do you see or how do you support your clients in making that shift? 

Candy Motzek 13:44

So it's interesting because, as you're describing this to me, Molly, I'm seeing the connection between creativity and building a coaching business, right? So as you described the rock climbing experience where you're trying to really grit and, you know, be tough and do this thing with it and get competitive and how that shut down your brain and shuts down that flow. And I think that that is how we are trained in school. You know, we need to know how to add before we learn how to multiply. We need to know how to multiply before we can do calculus and all of these things. And so we're shown a model that says go step by step by step, get the right answer, only one right answer, get a gold star, smack in the middle of your forehead. And that is the path to success. And so we've been trained, and especially women are trained to do the right thing. Be a good woman, obey, be kind to everybody. Like there's this thing that so many of these things are wonderful virtues, but when they become an obligation, they shut you down. And so lots of people in wonderful careers, there's nothing wrong with the career, but sometimes it's our approach to it. We come to this place of I have to get my masters and I have to get my doctorate. I have to do these things, and I have to be a partner by the time I'm 35. Like all of these must do's really shuts the joy out of your life. And when you shut the joy out, creativity is gone, stress rises and all of that stuff. So then we take those individuals who have been told that the way to success is step by step. And frankly, it freaks them out because now there is no step. And so it's not just that there's no step, but you've taken their frame of reference of what is real in the world when thrown on its head. Right?

Molly Claire 15:47

That's right. That's right. And I think, and we want to be, you know, those of you listening, we want to be careful about blaming yourself if you relate to this, right? Because of course, that's how our brain we try to be efficient, right? We are wired to think about we create certainty, we look for patterns, right? And then and then, we create a framework in our mind of what makes sense in the world around us. And one thing that we talked about Candy is that we've seen that people who come into this coaching space and building a business after having been a physician, I've seen this with attorneys, therapists, people who I'm trying to think of the great word to describe these type of careers, but there is a set way of doing things and it does lend itself to more rigid thinking. And so coming into the space where they're asked to open up to intuition to connect with their own knowing to bring about creativity, it can feel really foreign. And that's what that's why we just want to give that support, right? That's why I love giving that support and helping them move from wanting the certainty to feeling this sense of being self-connected and having a certainty within while approaching this creative space of the unknown. Yes. 

Candy Motzek 17:14

And then the funny thing is that sometimes when you look at the overt steps of building a coaching business, it's actually a pretty simple thing, right? Like we all need a niche. We all need an irresistible offer. You need a way to attract dream clients to you. You need a way to attract those leads. And then a way to have a simple, genuine, authentic, converting conversation to take that lead and help them to become a client when they're ready. So it's almost like we know that we need the creativity, that there are many ways to attract potential leads. And so we're looking for the one way to attract leads and there's many, many ways. So there's the frustration in that place, but when we peel back the layers, if you know that a coaching business is really three main steps, you know, have an irresistible offer, and that's the know who you help and what you help them with, have a way to attract leads into your world, and then a converting conversation. It's almost too simple. And I find that when I look at high achievers or professionals, it sort of short-circuits their brain that it could be so simple. And so they'll go back again and again, well, maybe I don't know my niche well enough. Well, maybe I don't have the right lead magnet. It's that they can't allow the simplicity to stand as it is. 

Molly Claire 18:42

Yeah, such an interesting thought. And you know, the other thing that came to my mind as you were saying that is that one of the differences is that while those steps are simple, and they require some trial and error, they require some shifting, some tweaking, and we really don't know until we enter down that road, right? Whereas if I know, okay, if I score this on a test, I get an A, I move on, it's not that way, right? And so I think that can kind of freak us out a little bit, right? Anyone it's like, I'm building this business, I did these things, why isn't this working? Well, it's not working yet. Or the right there's just and so so I think that also because there aren't specific answers as to when this will work, how it will work, what the answer is, it requires us to bring a lot more not only self-trust but a trusting of the process, right? 

Candy Motzek 19:43

Yeah, oh, yeah, I can really see that a trusting of the process, trusting of ourselves, And a trusting that there are people who want this work who want the help.

Molly Claire 19:56

And it's kind of like, I know, I'm sure you see this as well, that the hardest part about like you said, the business, the actual practical tangibles are pretty simple. But the challenging part, right, is, is what it brings up within us. Like, questioning if we have something of value to offer is my creativity, are my gifts that I bring to the space actually valuable. And that's where the self-work really comes in, right? That's where it comes in. And that's why I think I always say this: we all need to have mentors and coaches, every single one of us, right? 

Candy Motzek 20:31

Yeah, and multiple of them. Yes, yes. You know, like a coach, a coach is a right coach for the season, you know, depending on who you are and where you're at. And the other thing that I think is not spoken about enough is that sometimes it's somebody who's further back in the journey for a peer who can be really instrumental in helping you succeed, because they know some little thing. Or they have a reminder or they showed you something just in the way that they're living their life for building their business. That is that trigger for you, you know, so I'm 100% of course, for working with coaches and mentors and masterminds and peer groups, but also keep your eye out for people that could be a role model that we just don't know, I have a couple of role models who have podcasts, and they don't even know me. They've never heard my name, probably never will. But I listen to their podcast, and I use that to help me grow in my areas too. So there's lots of room for growth. 

Molly Claire 21:42

Absolutely. And in just a minute, because Candy does have a podcast, I'm going to have her share that with you and where you can find her. But I would love to know, Candy, what would you say to those listeners who they feel called to have a coaching business, right? They're moving down that path, but maybe they are struggling with a little bit of imposter syndrome or struggle with the uncertainty. You know, and of course, I speak about these things, but I'd love to know what would your take on this be? What would your advice and guidance be from where you stand? 

Candy Motzek 22:16

Yeah, and I was just looking this up. I just there was this lovely quote that really stuck with me. So imposter syndrome is something that we will probably all of us experience at some time. They do say 70% of the world experiences it. It is not women only, many men are affected by imposter syndrome as well. What I've noticed is for me is it helps if I'm not all stuck in my head and I'm not thinking about how I'm feeling or what somebody might think about what I said. But when I think about the other person the, person that I'm helping, and the potential client who needs to hear something. And so I read this a couple of days ago and it really stuck with me and maybe it'll maybe it'll stick with others that are listening to and thinking of this in the actual terms of imposter syndrome. So it says this, it's by a fellow by the name of Corey Muscara. He is a former monk, and he sends out these lovely texts every day. It said, "When you're aligned, effort feels like devotion. Hard work is purposeful, energizing, and fulfilling when it's in service to a deeper knowing." And I found that to be really helpful when I think about imposter syndrome, because I remember when I'm doing the aligned work that I am meant to do on the planet at this time, I know when I feel aligned and then I allow that to feel like a devotion to my clients. And I can never get stuck in my head when I'm focused on the difference that I can make in the world. 

Molly Claire 23:53

So beautiful. I love that. You know, as coaches, I really, really just believe in my heart of hearts that we have such important work to do in supporting each other as human beings. And I love that thought. It's true when we can stay connected with serving and helping, it feels good to be in that place. And there's an ease about it, right? Because it does remove our thoughts about ourselves and insecurities. Yeah, exactly. Well, what a fantastic conversation. So Candy has a podcast and tell everyone about that and where they can find out more about you. 

Candy Motzek 24:35

And that is the easiest way to find out more about me. I have a podcast, it's been around for a few years and it's called She Coaches Coaches. And on there, you're gonna find interviews, you'll find solo episodes, I have some little sound bites on there. And over the summer, in the coming months, I'll be doing some live coaching. You'll be hearing some live snippets. It feels like a little bit of a true free fall doing live coaching, but it's gonna be fun. So it's called She Coaches Coaches. And that's the easiest way to find out more about me and to come into my world. 

Molly Claire 25:09

Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and for such a great conversation. 

Candy Motzek 25:14

Oh, thank you, Molly. Really appreciate you having me on the show. 

Molly Claire 25:18

So good to have Candy here. Thank you so much to all of you and just truly remember to stay connected with why you are here as a coach and how, you know, we can be of service to others and sure makes a big difference. All right. I'll talk with you all next week.