00:39

Hey, everyone. Welcome to this week's episode. I'm really excited to share this special recording with you of my master coach panel. So today's episode is going to be inspiring. You are going to hear about some beautiful transformations that these women have experienced, as well as hear about their wins, their stories of how a couple of them have had their businesses become so very organic and natural, and especially how equipped these women feel to be able to handle anything their clients bring them. So this truly is a to the importance of understanding the whole human being, those of us here, the whole human being that each of you are, and all the different needs that you have, and the different parts of you, and also for those of you that are coaches, why this is important for your clients. So that's what you can look forward to on today's episode. So before we dive into that, I want to say happy birthday to my dear mom. Today, while this is airing, it is April 1st. It is her birthday, and she has been gone now for 25 years. I lost her way too early in life, but every year we celebrate her. I'm going to have my kids for dinner today. We're having cake and we have some traditions where, um, back when my first was born and my mom had already passed and when her birthday rolled around, I thought, you know, if my mom were here, what she'd want to do for her birthday is she would want to spoil my baby. So I went and, and bought my son, like a gift, a toy to celebrate her birthday. And we've done that ever since. So every year my kids would know on Mimi's birthday, um, that they get to pick out a gift. So it's been really fun anyway. Just wanted to give a shout out to my mom, just one of the most beautiful human beings to ever walk the planet. She was one of those people, one of those really rare people that when you were in her presence, you felt totally accepted, totally loved. She had just a curiosity about knowing who you were, who you are, and just really was such a gift to this world and a gift to have her as my mom. So this was session two of the workshop that I offered last week. And in that workshop, we were talking more about the four fundamentals of lasting change. And this was an opportunity for people to ask these master coaches about their experience of working with their clients and how it impacts them as they are working to coach their clients while understanding the power of the right type of mindset work, understanding emotional needs, understanding the nervous system and how to incorporate action plans as well.

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03:37

So I absolutely was so inspired by the session. And I wanted to share it on the podcast here. So I hope you enjoy, um, take it all in, um, taken the inspiration. These women are amazing. And I know you are going to love this episode. And by the way, if master coach training has been on your radar, make sure to apply. Now I am gathering a small cohort that we will begin in the fall. And I'm just, I'm so excited for the magic that happens in that group every single time. So, all right, without further ado, here we go. Master coach panel. Here we have with us five master coaches. All of these women are best-selling authors in our book. She rises and they all have incredible chapters here. I'm just going to tell you a little about each of them and then have them tell you who they coach and why they love it. So Jackie, you're here. Jackie's chapter in the book is on midlife and Jackie has, she's a master certified and she's been in my community for a few years now and three years. She loves it. I'm going to see her in person at our retreat soon. And Jackie really just has a love for helping her clients to really see what's possible. And so Jackie, tell everyone just about who you coach and why you love it.

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05:05

Well, I survived midlife and I am surviving it and have learned so much that I didn't know about myself and about life that I thought I knew. And so going through the process of discovering who I was and some of the pressure points, and then I was a certified coach before I joined Molly. And things just weren't connecting, like what I knew in here, I wasn't connecting everything together and I wasn't connecting with my clients. And so I wanted to do something more for myself and for my clients. So I was very interested in the mind, body, holistic mind, body, soul, mind, body, spirit connection because everything works together. There's not one part of us that works separately. And in other coaching programs, a lot of times you're talking about like just thought processes. You can't unthink what you're thinking, like just changing your thought doesn't change anything. And because I grew through that process, that's what I focused my coaching on is rediscovering life in midlife and creating new life and moving forward to sort of create what you want amidst all the changes. And I mean, hitting midlife and getting ready for it is like, I call it, it's a swackadoodle experience. Like it's just things are happening in our minds and bodies that we just, you know, home only emotionally and putting it all together and helping women sort of go through that start a plan, making them happen to make a plan for that transition really changes their life and it changes the way they think about themselves. So I just love it.

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06:48

Yeah. And, you know, I was talking a lot on the last session about our emotional world, and I think that it is such a beautiful time of life to really start to see that and explore it. So I love it. Awesome. Sondra, I've got Sondra next here. Sondra's also master certified, and she's written an incredible chapter in this book. And Sondra, were you on the first session today by chance? No, I wasn't. Oh, I talked about you for a minute. How did you? I was saying how, you know, we talked about your business model, and your business model, your marketing method is that people send people to you, and then you sign them up and you coach them. That's what it is.

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07:31

Exactly, but exactly and I'm a general life coach so I coach anybody But I always do a free coaching call at the beginning. Yes to make sure that it's a match You know, I mean I yeah we I coach them and we talk about what their needs are what they're What they're hoping to get out of coaching I talk about you know how I coach and we and we do a little session and then we decide whether it's a good fit or not and then I We go from there and it's just a very basic. I don't have a package. I just Most of them pay months to month and then when they feel like they're complete then they're complete and it's and it's all good. Yeah, such a beautiful process.And yeah, and I didn't really formally ask you, but that's who you coach. And what would you say you love about it or even how you currently work with clients?

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08:19

Actually love it so much because it fits into my life. I take the clients that I feel like that I can help and I fit them into my life and I feel like I kind of attract people. I don't know, maybe there's some kind of aura. I have no idea how this works but I just know that I have the perfect amount of clients for me. Like it just seems to work out and when I have one or two fall off and they say I'm complete and I'm done then I have one or two more come in and it just it just flows very naturally and it just fits in my life really well.

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08:50

Yeah.

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08:52

Which is such a, it's such an energy shift from, I know where you've been sometimes, where I've been, where we can be, right? Where we feel this, just this tension, this worry about getting clients in the marketing and all of that. So, and I love it. And I know one thing that you really have a soft spot for, and I would say a gift for is supporting people through those pretty heavy emotions. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Just such a beautiful thing.

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09:18

Yeah, I love that, actually, that piece. And I mean, yeah, there's sometimes it doesn't feel great. And that's just normal. But yeah, yeah. But lots of times I can hold space in a way that just like, they figure things out. And it's just so empowering to watch that for them.

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09:35

Yeah, yeah. Margo, thank you for joining. Margo's a grief coach. Her chapter in the book is about really going through that when a mother loses a child and that's kind of been your journey. Margo has multiple certifications. She specializes in grief. She has a grief training and then is also of course certified in holistic master coach training with me. But Margo, tell everyone a little about, you know, what you do, but what you do and why you love it.

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10:05

While I do grief and I'm finding it's expanding that I'm not just helping moms and how many of us live our lives carrying around on processed grief and how that deeply impacts other areas of our life and that I love what I do because helping people kind of stuck in their grief for how this it keeps popping its head up in other areas even years later you know and helping them reconnect back with themselves and rebuild their lives holding both the grief and the loss a lot of the messaging when I was going through this was like we were never gonna be okay that this is the worst loss and this is just how it is and it just as time went on I'm like oh my gosh I can't carry this with me like this it was so heavy for the rest of my life and so it's incredibly meaningful to walk with people going through what arguably is the hardest thing they will probably ever do and move them from not just surviving it but to actually living again and finding things that provide meaning and joy again and so it's very powerful meaningful work.

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11:34

So beautiful. And yeah, like you said not just surviving but you know that post-traumatic growth right that expansion of depth of meaning and that people can experience right, right. And I know I know most of you were there in our first session where we were talking about the four fundamentals right the mind the emotions the nervous system and actions and we're gonna talk more about this but grief is one of those that you you're not gonna outthink grief nor should you and so you really it's so vital I know you you're with your client with those with their emotions quite a bit. And then also helping them to understand that nervous system regulation. That's so vital. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly Okay. Well, thanks for being here Margo. Thanks and Angela. Hello, welcome. Angela also has a chapter in the book Angela I know and she'll tell you more about this but it has developed quite an affinity for the tapping that we do and in the Training program and how that works with the nervous system and emotions, but Angela. Thank you for being here and she's master certified Of course, tell everyone a little about who you work with and why you love it Thank you.

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12:53

Thank you, Molly. So I just want to share the kind of the background of who I coach really ties into the chapter of my book that I wrote. And it's perfectly disguised behind the mask of having it all together, because that's kind of the mask that I've worn for many years, basically my whole life. And so part of my journey has been taking my own mask off and realizing, well, I always knew I didn't have it all together, but putting this mask on that I did. And so those that I coat, like I don't really have it all together. I don't have necessarily a specific person or niche that I've put pressure on myself to try to narrow down. And it just wasn't coming together. And so I'd been able to let go of that. And I just coach anybody, anybody that they just similar to Sondra, they just kind of come to me. Yeah. We kind of have that connection that they just kind of show up in my life when I need them. I coach anywhere from, from young, you know, adults, teenagers to midlife women, mostly women, even men. And so I just coach anybody and which is kind of fun as I've been able to let go of having to narrow down who I, who I coach and having it all together. I just, I just am a general coach then that those people just come to me naturally. And, and what happens is a lot of times it's more about just finding themselves and their own self-worth, their own struggles with perfectionism, with buffering, with relationships, with all of those things. It's kind of who, who I like to help. And it's been through my own work that I'm able to help my clients. And I, and I just love it. I just love it.

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14:53

Yeah, isn't that always the way it's like we go first, I think as coaches who really, especially I know those of you here, you have a heart for this work. And I think especially when we are, you know, doing the work of the heart, the emotions and really those deeper transformations. I think you know what you're saying Angela is so true. It's like when we lead with that, the people who need it, they come to us. Yeah. And I'm thinking about, yeah, they do. And I'm thinking about Maria, cause I'm about to introduce you. And I know Maria, when you came to master coach training, it was like, why did you come? You're like, I just knew, like I just felt it. I needed to be here. I needed what was here. It wasn't to check a certain box, but you, you just knew. So I'll introduce you next Maria. And I know Maria, you have to sneak out a little early. So I just want to say it's totally fine. Thank you for making arrangements to be here. I'm so great. Absolutely. My chapter in the book about joy. Maria is like the ultimate mom homeschool mom, all things, just supporting women through that crazy journey. But tell everyone a little bit more about who you coach and why you love it.

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16:06

Yeah, so my journey has kind of evolved. I started in the homeschool realm because I've been homeschooling my children for over 20, almost 25 years. And that's kind of where I started. And then I started branching out to help their children. So I teach teen classes so that they have these skills early that we took a lot of our life to figure out. And now, like what Jackie was saying, like I've on the front side of like perimenopause and I'm realizing like, oh my gosh, the busiest time of life where I'm supporting and I'm running and I just like in the thick of motherhood and everything and life throws you like, and now your hormones are going to change and now your hair is going to change in your skin and you're going to gain weight. Right? And so I just have a heart for helping anybody, of course, but just mamas, like I just feel like I look back at my life and I think I've had a pretty good life. Like we've built a pretty good life and I love it. And I don't know if I enjoyed it as much as I could have had I known how to pause. Had I known that I was over functioning and that that was not necessary, that was so transformational for my life. And I just have a heart for helping other mamas just feel good so they can, you know, live intentionally, find more joy in just their everyday life. Yeah.

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17:40

I love it. I love it. And it's, it is so true. I mean, same thing for me. And I think, you know, it's okay. It takes us a while to really understand how to have that more, you know, full sense of joy, right? And so what a gift that you can help them sooner rather than later. Yeah. Yeah. So I would love to know a little bit from any of you where maybe before implementing the four fundamentals and understanding the mind, the emotion, the nervous system, that more full picture, where were you getting stuck or struggling with your clients? And then also what's, what's been different for you? Yeah. Jackie, and then I'll come to you, Sondra.

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18:25

Um, so I, first of all, I was stuck, um, in, in my own ways and I could, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, when you're stuck, you can't go any further than you can't take someone else on a journey that was further. And so realizing that and sort of having that lack of real connection with the clients that you felt like, you know, it was, it was magical. I don't know the word to use. Um, and after taking the program and being involved in the program, I now I'm able to, um, really understand when someone is telling us, telling me, and we're, we're discussing something that there's, that there's an emotional component, there's a physical component, there's a nervous system component, and there's, I mean, all these different areas that make up the whole, and so you have to sort of align your nervous system and, and align different things simultaneously in order for them to, you know, to, to get anywhere. And, um, what a gift that is, because there's a, it deepens, there is a real connection between a coach and a client when it's all synergistically doing that. And, um, I did not have that before. So I was always thinking, Oh, I just, I don't know if I'm effective. I don't know. I didn't have the competence. Um, and I was not going to have very many clients like coming out this next year, just take a break, but I've had, I have eight active right now. And it's like, I can do it because I can be there for them in all these ways. So the energy isn't zapping, the energy is being created.

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19:59

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so

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20:00

it is so important to have that mind-body-soul connection and work at the whole thing in every session to address it and try to get them aligned to that.

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20:10

Yeah, and I love that when you were because you know, I talked about that a little on the first session like how when we're engaging in this way and we're allowing for all these parts of us to be included and where we are regulating and we're kind of speaking life and validation to our emotions. It's energizing, right? It brings us to life. And so how does that affect on our clients and us too? Yeah Absolutely. Yep. Yeah

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20:37

Sondra, how about you? I think my biggest challenge with coaching before you was that I had run across a couple people, because I coach people that have pretty big emotions and challenges, and that I was drawn to that kind of people. I hit a couple people that had trauma reactions, and I didn't know what to do with it, like I was lost. And I don't feel like I handled it well. And because my main tool was thought work, and there's no access to your thoughts, we're nearing trauma. And so I think that was my biggest challenge as a coach. And so therefore then I felt a little bit panicky, sometimes going into coaching calls, wondering if somebody was gonna have a major reaction, and that I didn't feel like I had the tools to handle it.

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21:28

Mm-hmm.

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21:28

And so, and I had those same things happening inside of me. I was stepping on top of myself in order to please other people. And I didn't know how to get out of that either. And so it all was just so, so it was challenging in that areas for me as a coach. And so this has been so, I have so much peace and just confidence that I can hold space now. And I can say to them, you know, this looks like a trauma response, and just be really loving. And you probably need to get help somewhere else for this particular thing that's going on.

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22:05

Yeah. And I think, yeah, I have so many comments I want to make on that because I think that it's like, I think when you understand through like a trauma-informed lens and you understand about the nervous system and have that broader view, I think it can both allow you to see the ways when referring out as the best thing. And also, I think we become aware of the ways we actually can help that we otherwise wouldn't think we should or could. I feel like it's kind of both. And you know, the other thing that I love that you brought up, Sondra, and this goes for all of us, is the importance of when we're talking about this whole person and supporting the whole person and change, how we absolutely have to do this work for ourselves first and foremost, right? Because it's like, I know you were speaking to ways that you were kind of doing these same things. And also, as coaches, we can have activation in sessions as well, right? And we can try to just, okay, well, I'm going to like use good reframes to keep myself from being activated. But what about when we can learn how to actually ground ourselves and regulate? Yeah, amazing. Yeah, Margo.

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23:31

Toggling with what Sondra just said, you know, like when to refer out in that, you know, I was experiencing, like I called it, I had trouble managing my adrenaline and my body didn't wreck it. Like I could be watching a movie and you're getting to the suspenseful part. And I would be having this reaction. My body couldn't differentiate that you're just watching a movie versus something really scary dangerous was going on. It was having, and that was all my nervous system. And so I would experience this under stress, duress, watching a football game. Are they going to score? And I would start not feeling good. And so just the learning that you gave us and really how to recognize these things and what was going on, and then how to ground myself, you know, that's not something with my clients that needs to necessarily be passed off. But when you're in that activated state, then, you know, the, the thinking part, the prefrontal cortex isn't kicking in. And so, um, in grief, there's a lot of these emotions and it's almost the first work we do is helping with tools to, to get, to recognize being dysregulated or regulated and, and how to just start creating safety, um, for themselves, you know, and, um, you know, and that's where that gap was, you know, in my, in my coaching thing is, you know, there's a lot of things in grief that you're never going to mindset yourself out of. It's true. We used to call it like getting in the pool, but what they're feeling is really true. And they never have to change how they're feeling about that. Yeah. And so then it's like, what do I, what do I do with that? Yeah.

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25:32

So, you know, and Margo, as you're talking, I'm thinking also about just the power of thinking about like, just the awareness, right? Because I mean, how many of you can relate to times in your life when you've been felt activated or emotional or thought I'm overreacting, right? And we have all these judgments and opinions, condemnations really, of something that's a physiological response in our body. And so I think just that first part of you understanding and bringing that awareness can bring a little bit of that acceptance, which immediately kind of lowers the temperature, right? And creates a little bit of space and separation from this response we're having and everything we're making it mean or believing about ourselves. Yeah, yeah. Maria.

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26:27

So this is kind of just adding to what you just said, but that's what I've experienced most for me, what this has given me and my clients is because when I was trained with a cognitive model, I didn't learn anything really more than thoughts, create feelings, drive actions, give results, right? That's what I felt. And there's so much to that and that's powerful and it totally changed my life. And I realized that when I couldn't think myself out of something, it was like what you said, like I created even a more unsafe space for me because now it's like, just like what's wrong with me and all this criticism. But once I understood like, oh, the nervous system, this is a thing, oh, like once I understood biology and my brain and my nervous system, then I was like, oh, this makes sense that this is how that like, this is why this is happening because we get this motivation to like do something, feel better, create something, whatever it is that we're feeling stuck about or we want to move on to and we get all this motivation and then we want it to happen overnight. Oftentimes that the change and it's a process and then we can get frustrated with ourselves when we see how much further we have to want to be and we can get down on ourselves and we can create even more on safety because we do, if we don't understand that and that's the same thing happens to our clients and that I always reflect like, how has this changed my life because I'm my first client and that helps me give awareness or bring awareness to like the humanness of what my clients are focusing on. And so I like you said, just awareness of how our biology works and be like, oh, that makes sense. Yeah, it lowers the temperature and then I can be like, okay, now, now what now are we and what are we going to do with this?

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28:34

Yeah. Yeah. As you were talking, it made me want to kind of go on a, like, ask another question to you, a bit of a tangent here. And I don't want to skip over you, Angela, either. Not that you need to speak up, but I want to, um, you're good. Okay. She's good. Yeah. I just, and then, and I'll also let you all know I had another question come in. So I'll let you know, I'll tee this up. And then I want to ask Maria something, but one of the questions that came in was specifically, where were you at the beginning of our program? So specifically, right. Master coach training. Um, and, and what were your biggest insights and biggest transformations for you by the end? So great question. Thanks for that. And we'll, we'll do that one in just a minute. Um, but you know, Maria, as you were talking, I was thinking about, you know, as you all know today, we're talking about this whole person view, right? These four fundamentals. And when we're thinking about, when I think about these moms and I think about my experience as a mom, and I think about when I was coaching moms and using so much of a cognitive approach that one thing that can happen, which we talked a little bit about on the last session and are going to be talking about again here is how in relationship, right? So here are these moms are, they have a relationship with their spouse, their partner relationships with their kids. And when we can focus on like, it's good, right? We want to take ownership of how I'm showing up with my partner, how I'm showing up with my kids, where, what are my thoughts in this? But I'm curious to know, and I hope I'm articulating this well, if it doesn't make sense, you just say, Molly, try that again. But it's like the ways that just looking at thought reframes can actually create more disconnection in relationship rather than making space for the emotional world that lends itself to that vulnerability and connection. So I'd love any of your thoughts on that with regard to your clients.

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30:35

Just, I think this is the interesting thing because what I've realized, I think what we've all realized through this program and we've been together for a while is that it's those thoughts that we have create emotion and that stored emotion is in our nervous, like it's within us. And so anytime we approach a situation that is similar, it's an emotional reaction, it's a physical reaction. And so you can't, like treating it by itself as just a reaction is not addressing what is actually going on. It's not a thought. It's just, it's there, your body starts to react in the same way it did when you were having the first time you're having the experience. So we're learning that the thought has a physical visceral nervous system body reaction attached to it is where the work is so that when you have that experience again, you don't have that, that, you know, huddle on the floor that you might feel you, you have the recognition and you can use that, you know, common systematic techniques or different things to get that emotion to sort of change the, change the feeling behind the emotion and address that. Because that's where the, that's where the difficulty is that what's behind the emotion is not a thought. It's a physical whole body experience.

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32:03

You know, and as you were saying that I was remembering one of our sessions in our community where we were doing a coaching session and we were actually what we were doing is we were playing around with a thought model and how does it work and when is it useful. And one of the clients was we were talking about this scenario and, you know, he had this one thought in this one situation and it really didn't matter that thought in that situation was really in consequential. What mattered was his emotional experience that happened over and over again in this situation and that's what we needed to look at and playing. We could waste our time and see, I mean, he could see clearly, yeah, this isn't a useful thought. Yeah, this isn't a true thought.Well, so what we can play with that and we can move it aside and try to plug something else in. But what do we actually need? What we needed to do is attend to here. So it just reminded me of that. Yeah. Any other thoughts, either Maria or any of you on this on this idea of the working on thought reframes in relationship, how if that's all we're doing, it can be actually a little more disconnecting and I have some thoughts on it. But yeah, Angela, go ahead.

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33:15

So, as we've been talking, what came to my mind was, and it didn't even dawn on me until this discussion is before this holistic approach, I was kind of in this checklist coaching kind of mode. You know, I have the thought model, and you know, our thoughts lead to our feelings, lead to our actions and our results, and it made sense. And I had a lot of movement with that in my own life and with my clients. Like, it was very helpful.That checklist stopped at some point, or we would get stuck sometimes. And then we start using it against ourselves. I was using it against my own self. And with my client, I can remember one specific client where we would go through this, similar as you were just sharing, we would go through this model and we would see these thoughts. And we were just like in this hamster wheel, not really getting anywhere. And so it's almost like my confidence level would go down in my skills. And I'm like, why am I not able to help this client? Because I wasn't able to address that. What was really underneath was these emotions that needed to be dealt with with this safety inside that they're not feeling safe to be able to even deal with these emotions. We can't deal with what's here if we're not feeling safe enough to accept these new thoughts. There's definitely a different order. So for me, it's been life-changing to be able to have more ability to just be in tune with where the client is and let's address that. The mind is important and that's everything. No, it's not everything. It's going to help make those changes. But there's so many different entry points that we can need to untangle before we get there.

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35:11

Yeah.

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35:12

Yeah, that's been super powerful.

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35:14

Yeah. And I think, you know, I know those of you that were on the first session, one of the things I said is like, if you take nothing else away today, it's that we have to feel safe. We have to create safety. Safe, safe, safe. Safety in the coaching experience is how everything moves, how everything works. Yeah. We have to feel that. Okay. I'm going to share. Oh, Maria, were you raising your hand?

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35:40

Oh, I was just going to add to the relationship thing because I see so many moms who are holding so many things together. They're holding the emotional world of their house together. They're creating the magic of all the big events, the holidays and all of that. And when you approach something like that from a place of, well, it's just a thought and you can change this from a thought, then they're kind of left with this, like, but I still want all this done. And they leave themselves and the person that they want a loving relationship with when they do that, because you can't connect with someone else if you have disconnected from yourself first. And so I think that's been a huge thing because to be able to, a tune is not the right word, but to attend to that part of you. You need to be able to advocate for yourself. You need to be able to have language around like what you need. And that requires some connection.

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36:50

Mm-hmm.

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36:52

Yeah, I mean, exactly. And I want to just I do want to skip ahead on this a little bit and we'll come back to it. And then what I will say is, okay, here's a, here's a blank sheet. And here's what I'm here's what I'll say, because I'm mindful of the time and making sure everyone has a break in between. And I do want to have I would love to have you all answer that question if you're up for it that was submitted. And also I see more questions here as well. And I'm gathering these and we will dive more into these on session three as well, because most of the questions that were submitted are very relevant to this. But I want to speak to this because this is definitely one of the things that I think is really imperative to understand when we're working with our clients and relationship challenges that if question right to pose, what do we think what is our idea about if we should have expectations of people if we should ask things of people if we should want things of people. And you know, in a lot of talk around like never have expectations, or you know, from a framework of like, okay, you're having a manual of how you believe someone should behave. And you have to drop that in order to actually like love them and care about them. And here's what I'll say about this can be useful in some ways. And in other ways, this idea can be very disconnecting. And this is what, you know, Maria was articulating this a little bit. It's like, if I want something in my relationship, if I have a desire for a certain level of connection, or a sense of teamwork or something, those desires, those things actually matter. And they come out all kinds of ways, right? So we may think it's about doing this task or doing that task. And we're having these expectations. But what happens is if we if we don't understand the value of understanding our emotional world and our own needs, and actually bringing those into relationship, what happens is we end up we can end up going to a place of, I shouldn't expect anything, I can't ask of this, this is just my thoughts, I should minimize and dismiss everything I'm thinking and feeling about this, for the sake of the relationship. But exactly what was what Maria was saying, what that means is, I'm then disconnecting from my own needs, my own wants, I'm minimizing everything within me. And then I go to a place of being cold and distant, which is not what we want. Whereas when we can learn and understand more about our own emotional needs, more about our own world, we can be with ourselves and understand and actually come to relationship in healthy ways. And that's how we create more connections. So I know this is like this could be a whole day workshop on this, but I wanted to at least mention it. Because it's super important when you're working with clients on relationship stuff to see how, when we're working with a very, the word is escaping me just this unilateral, like one approach, we can really miss out on a lot of that really important stuff.

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39:50

So okay, Jackie, Sondra, Margo, Angela, Maria, I would love for you to answer what is your answer for this question about what's really changed for you as a result of this work from where you were at the beginning to where you are now with your coaching journey. Sondra.

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40:10

I have a lot of anxiety like there was a lot of anxiety in my life. I just I would wake up in the night and I wouldn't like before I even had a time to think my body was already in anxiousness like I didn't even know why I was feeling anxiousness and it was being carried out throughout all of my relationships.I felt like I needed to be something that I wasn't in order to please people and I lived my life that way for 50 some odd years and so like one of the most powerful things that you would say as you were coaching us and as you was talking us through all this was any answer is okay like that was mind-blowing to me that like I was okay no matter what and one of the most powerful like moments for me in my transformation was actually on a one-on-one with you where you said Sondra you're doing a good job like.

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41:09

Mm-hmm.

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41:09

I was just blown away because I didn't feel like I was, but I believed you because I'd created a relationship with you where I could believe you. And you even said to me, if you're ever doubting it, just say to yourself, Molly says I'm doing a good job. And I like that was the beginning of a huge transformation for me. I can't even explain what that did and opened up inside of me. And so yeah, like this has been the most incredible program for me. And because of that transformation for me, where I have the calm and the safety inside of myself now, and I don't like, I would have never felt comfortable to show up on a panel like this before. Like it would have been way too much. And but I just, I have felt calm coming into this. And because of that transformation that has happened for me, it has transformed things for my clients as well, because I have that calm and that safety within myself.

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42:04

Amazing. It's that safety, right? The safety in the relationship, the safety we can create, and then the safety that you can bring. So, thank you so much.

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42:16

Molly, can I go next because I know you gotta go. Sorry, I'm glad you this is it. That was so beautiful, Sondra, because I think a lot of us feel like that. Like I feel like all of us. I mean, I've had that experience to like, when Molly believes in me, so I can, I can borrow that belief. But I think one of the biggest things it's done for me is that like, it starts with me. And that's what this did for me is that it brought me to a journey of healing myself of reconnecting with with myself and while I was doing master coach training last year, another colleague in our cohort here had brought up her experience with EMDR therapy. And I was like, I never heard of it. And because of that, I was like, I need that. And I went on a whole year journey to like, delve deep into some trauma that I was like, I need to heal that before I can move forward. And I wouldn't have even understood that had I not understood the nervous system and what was happening and happens to be in a cohort like what Molly said, I was like, I just I don't know why I'm drawn to this. I didn't actually know what I was going to be learning here. I just knew I needed it. And I'm like that. And here's the thing is that like, this lab, this training has given me so much confidence. And then also, but and not just in more practice and in more knowledge. But it also helped me recognize that like me following those things, I was already it showed me ways that I was already listening to myself and trusting myself that I didn't understand that I already did. And sometimes just that realization, it moves your confidence level even further.

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44:06

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

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44:07

Yeah, absolutely. It's so true because that's the thing, right? Like I can I can we could set it up so that I'm telling you what to do or how to like directing you. But wow, what about when we can help you really see what you're doing? Well, what's good? What how your gifts are really able to shine? And then it's like you take what you learn. But it really is. You're your own kind of coach. You're your own energy that you bring to others. Yeah. OK. Yeah, Margo.

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44:36

I love this and being with you girls. I haven't seen you in a while. You talked a lot and at the very, like the very first week we started with ourselves. And so I signed up thinking this was for others. And I probably was the, you know, the beneficiary more than even my clients will ever be. And you talked a lot and you would use this line about this disconnect from what's happening here with what's happening here. And I didn't realize like how these two things weren't talking to each other and that skill. I'm just, you know, I came to be a better coach and what happened is I transformed patterns and great and softened suffering. I was still experiencing in my own grief journey, which is now just transformed how I help others. And I feel like my approach now is so deeply personalized. I don't, Angela, I think you said like this checkbox. I can take any person that comes to me and we can kind of see where they are and which of the four fundamentals they're all being used. But the entry point, I can recognize that and it's personalized in such a way that a lot of coaching isn't. And there's like real lasting transformation and teaching them how even when I'm not there to not be dependent on me, but how they can with helping them connect what's going on here with here, then they can become their own transformational coach and in real time and recognize what's going on. And so, and the belief that like healing is possible in a meaningful life, that like is a real thing, you know, that you don't have to white knuckle it through the rest of your life when something really hard happens, that integrating pain and joy is really possible. Yeah, it's not just like a good idea on an Instagram post. Yeah, right. A little.

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47:09

Yeah, it's a real living breathing thing that goes along, you know, the way with you.

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47:18

Amazing. Thank you, Margo. All right. Who's next? Jackie.

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47:23

So ladies, thank you so much, my friends, for sharing, because I have found my people. I came, I had lots of friends, I've got lots of experience, but I was in that space of time where the kids were gone, grandkids were coming, and who were my people? I wasn't involved in all those things that you automatically have friends anymore, and there was just something inside me that was not really missing, but it wasn't connecting, like it was anxiety all the time, anything, I wasn't sleeping, I was not relating well to my spouse, I was not relating well to myself. And so within this group, with certainly Molly, master, master coaching friend person, I mean, she just does everything. And then as I got to know everybody else, and listened to their stories, and figure out that I was very, we were all very similar, just approached things in different ways. It was so validating to me to know that I could coach at a level that Molly's coaching at. At some point, I'm gonna be like Molly, but just that whole experience and knowing because I loved these women, because I came to love myself more, knowing that I can give freely, because I've learned how to give to myself freely, and when I need to take a step back, and when I need to correct and self correct. And I wasn't doing those things, I was like 100% on automatic, it had been for years.

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49:09

Mm-hmm.

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49:09

So, now I'm intentional and I'm present, and so everything is purposeful, and I'm here, not all over the place. I'm here when I'm here, and that kind of focus is really good.

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49:22

Yeah. And I think, you know, as you were talking, I think it speaks to the power of being in community and in connection and in a safe connection, right? That's the word of the day, safe, right? And being in connection with other people who are leaning in and allowing their thoughts and feelings to be okay. And that permission is, it's a very healing space to be in. It's pretty powerful. Okay. Angela, I'd love to hear from you before we go.

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49:48

Yes, thank you, because I'm just chomping at the bit. I know we don't have a lot of time, but I just wanted to say I, for one, was one that did not feel safe in being vulnerable in this kind of environment. I was not one to raise my hand. I was not one to want to even be on this panel. I would not do this. And I remember specifically one of our classes that we had during Master Coach training. I was in a hotel room. I was on Zoom. I was all about doing all the work. And it just clicked that I don't feel safe. Like the concept of safety never even entered my mind, because again, it was all cognitive. These are just thoughts that I'm having. And I was stuck. And at that moment when I realized it was just this aha moment. In fact, I was the first one to raise my hand that day, which never happened. And I just realized that that's why. That's why I'm stuck. That's why I'm not able to move past some of these things in my life. And it was that moment of that awareness that opened up the floodgates for me. Because it just validated that it's not something that's wrong with me or something that I have to try to figure out. It's like this is internal. And that was the beginning of transformation for me. And at that point, I was able to then start taking those baby steps that felt safe. And I'll just share this if I can really quickly. Yes, yes, do it. And the experience that that first retreat that you did, I just felt like I need this. I was scared to death. That is not something that I would have ever done before. Not something I would feel safe doing, but I knew that I needed it. And yet I was scared because that was not a safe place for me. But because it was smaller and you and I talked and I'm like, okay, I think because there's only going to be a handful, that felt safe. That felt like, okay, I can go into this place and feeling safe, which I did. And it was amazing. And that led me to that next bigger step of being able to go to the bigger retreat the next time and be excited about it and not have that same fear that has opened up. And that's how my transformation has continued to evolve even today to the point where I've hired. I have two coaches now. And again, those are big things that I did not feel safe to do. And so that has been so transformational for me. And then of course, being able to, that just bleeds naturally over into my clients.

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52:26

Yeah, of course. Right. Of course. Because it's that safety that they need and you understand it at such a deep level. Yes. That it just it's gonna come forward in all of your work with them.

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52:40

It was my blowing safety. So anyway, I just had to share that.

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52:44

Thank you so much. And I want to say just something about that. And then I'm going to let you all go have a quick break. We're going to talk about this again in the third session, because it's this, you know, when you're speaking to that, it's safe to take little steps. I think that can go against this idea sometimes of like, feel the fear and do it anyway, go for it. Like we should push ourselves past these limits. And there's a way actually that we can push those limits where we're creating safety within ourselves. And that's, that's the way we have to do it. So I could say so much more, but thank you so much for all of you here, all of you master coaches. You're amazing. Big thanks to Maria who already left. Thank you so much. Bye everyone.