Molly Claire 00:45

Hello, coaches. Welcome to this episode. I am so thrilled to be sharing with you Master Certified Coach, Meg Kuhnle, who is a coach for moms and not just any coach for moms, but she brings a holistic approach, and I'm just so excited about sharing with all of you the work that she does. Welcome to the show, Meg. 

Meg Kuhnle 01:12

Thank you, Molly. I'm, of course, so excited to be here and have a conversation with you. 

Molly Claire 01:17

This is going to be such a good conversation because so all of the women listening right now, you are going to relate to this conversation. I'm gonna say even women who are listening who are not moms because I think some of the things we're talking about here definitely are highlighted in motherhood and there are certain things that we're going to be talking to specifically here. And yet I just, I don't want to exclude anyone from this conversation, even the men, okay? You guys are gonna learn something from this because there's so much good here. But one of the things I want to highlight right away, which is my opinion and something that Meg and I were kind of discussing before we started this is that, first of all, I believe every person needs a coach. Let's just say that, right? And if you are a mom, if you know a mom, you need a coach, that mom needs a coach. I think every mom needs a coach and I think they need a coach now. And I think many of them think that maybe they can't justify it or they need one maybe later in life. But let's talk about this idea. Meg, if you agree with this, which I think you do, why does every mom need a coach and why does it need to be now? 

Meg Kuhnle 02:38

Yeah. Amazingly, Molly, I actually agree with you a lot. Every mom needs a coach now, and there are so many reasons for that, but the ones coming to mind are, right, parenting is hard. There is no manual. Every single kid is different. You can't even begin to imagine the scenarios and the situations that you will be in with yourself, as the parent, with the kid, as they're handling their growing up, kind of no matter what phase of life. But coaching just, it helps you stay grounded in who you are and really helps you show up as that parent that you want to be in all of the situations, not just on vacation, but also the days that are hard, the days where there's a lot of emotion. You can still be that person that you're proud of at the end of the day. 

Molly Claire 03:36

Yes. Yes. And you know, something that's top of mind, just as we're diving into this conversation is, you know, many of my listeners know that in holistic master coach training, of course, we focus on the nervous system, right, as part of what we study. And of course, you bring your unique knowledge also as a yoga instructor and everything, you know, you've learned prior, professionally and otherwise. But the reason I bring this up is because just yesterday, Meg, we were in a master coach training call, right? And we're talking about the nervous system. And we're having this reminder that our nervous system is it's always taking in inputs around us, right? It's like, whether we're aware of it or not, we're taking the temperature of what's happening around us and what's happening with the people around us. And it's so interesting, right? Because I think, as moms, we are certainly aware that we're aware, right, of what each kid is dealing with and what's going on with our partner, right? We already have some level of awareness around that. But when we take into account that that's happening for everyone all the time, doesn't it make sense that even more so as a mom, we need a coach who understands that, right? And who understands how to support each of us in self regulation, so that we can show up in the way we need to for our kids and everyone in the crazy dynamic, right? This like ever, it's like this ever moving, ever changing landscape of family life. 

Meg Kuhnle 05:21

And especially because mom or just whatever parent is in that particular situation, right? They're feeding off of you, right? You are often the one that's right setting the temperature setting that dynamic. And if you're, you know, feeling angry, frustrated, you know, heightened in, in any way, they, they read it, right? They feed off of it. That's right. It causes them to have various responses and reactions. So, as you're saying, you know, by regulating that nervous system, by really allowing yourself to be who you want to be, right? Who you'd be proud of helps them also, they feed off of. 

Molly Claire 06:00

That that's right because people don't realize this right but our kids their nervous system is relying on us for co-regulation they're relying on us in that way which can kind of be a scary thing right as a mom because you're like oh my gosh don't rely on me because right we're all human and we're all going to have these ups and downs and ebbs and flows so I think we don't need to you know we don't need to be panicked about it but it is worth noting okay if our children are and I know also I want to speak to we're talking about moms and kids maybe in the context of them being little or being young but I want to be clear to all of you that we're we're really talking about the whole like the whole span right of motherhood so I do want to circle back to that but just thinking about you know how vital it is that are we as women and as moms caring for ourselves in such a way that we can really be as steady and solid as possible.

Meg Kuhnle 07:04

And as you say, through the gamut, through the temper tantrums of toddlers, the temper tantrums of teens, the temper tantrums of young adults, we all do this. We all get dysregulated and they can always feed off of us, that co-regulation, but regulating ourselves is absolutely... 

Molly Claire 07:26

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I can just say for me, I believed I was meant to be a mom, okay? Like I know not every woman feels that way and I want to just vocalize also that if you don't feel that way, that is an absolutely perfect way for you to be. I don't have an opinion or judgment about how women should feel about motherhood or what have you, but I can just say for me, I thought that I was meant for this until I had a child and then I was like, oh my gosh, how can this be so hard? How can this feel so impossible at times, you know? And it definitely rocked my world and boy, does it continue to, right? With the things that come up. And so one of the things that I think is so important and beneficial that you do specifically is helping women with the flow of their energy, right? As a mom. And can you talk a little bit about this? Because I think we all experience feeling exhausted, feeling burned out, and trying to navigate that. What is so unique about the way that you work with your clients to help them with that?

Meg Kuhnle 08:43

So, energy is just so, it's so tricky, right? We have such a unique relationship with it. Sometimes we don't sleep, sometimes we oversleep, right? You can wake up feeling exhausted either way, right? Just kind of being out of your rhythm, and then you kind of feel like you're starting at the bottom of a mountain, and then it's all, like, all day. You just have no energy. You just, decision after decision, you just get so tired, or, you know, could be the other way. You could be overextending yourself. You could be saying yes to so many things that you then kind of deplete yourself. And I think it's so important for people to know that there's no limit to energy. It's not like, I don't know if any of you were told this as a kid, it's not like you only get so many words in a day, and then you're not allowed to talk anymore, right? 

Molly Claire 09:33

I didn't know I could use that tactic. 

Meg Kuhnle 09:37

Number one, tell your kid that. Anyway, so with energy, you can start the day tired and still have a day that you are productive or that you're happy or that you're motivated because this energy, it can be cultivated. And there are so many different ways to do that by taking care of yourself, by taking care of your nervous system that can set you up four sixths in your day. But so often when people wake up and, you know, after not sleeping well or whatever it may be, and they're like, Oh, this day is going to be terrible, right? I've got a case of the Mondays, even though it's Friday, because I'm instead, right? So just kind of understanding this relationship with energy, understanding yourself enough to know what increases your energy, what drains your energy, and how you can capitalize on that throughout your day. 

Molly Claire 10:35

Yes. And, you know, as Meg is speaking about this, this is one of the things that we study in Master Coach training. And I know, Meg, you also bring your unique insights and flavor to all of it. But as you're talking about it, you know, I can't help but feel just this sense of like my own conviction with what you're saying, because, you know, Meg, as you know, I dealt with chronic fatigue syndrome, and had to come face to face with like, what is going on with my energy, right? And if I only have so much energy, what am I going to do with this energy? And I think one of the things that Meg said that I want to highlight for all of you is, you know, Meg, as you were saying, that you can have a lot going on, or you can, you know, no matter what's going on, you can have a good day, you can have positivity, you can have joy. And I think that sometimes this can be interpreted as trying a little harder, trying to have more of a positive attitude, do a little more when you think you can't write like these ideas that if you just work hard enough, or do a better job with your mindset, your day can go well. And I want to be clear that that is not what we're talking about here. That is definitely not something I know that either of us subscribed to, right? But rather, the awareness of actually how to tend to yourself and attend to your needs in such a way that energy actually feels more abundant, more free flowing. And so the ways that I know, Meg, that you're able to work with your clients isn't about handling a lot more, but rather about experiencing sort of like this, like upward flow of energy that we actually feel better. 

Meg Kuhnle 12:38

When you shift your awareness inward, right? What's going on? What is draining me? And just acknowledge that within yourself, right? Sometimes you just need to tell yourself, this is really hard and I just need to breathe for a minute, right? And it's not right trying to think your way out of it. It's just trying to care for yourself. It's sending that message to your body that, you know, it's okay. I hear you. I see you. It's safe now. 

Molly Claire 13:10

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I'm just going to give a specific example. I'm guessing everyone can relate to this. I know I can relate to this. Like I've had this happen more than a few times where maybe you're having a day where you're pretty down, you're feeling really drained, right? And then you get good news or something and suddenly you feel completely different, right? And so this is such a good, like a specific example to show, yes, when we're feeling drained, when we're feeling low, all of those things, they are very real and they don't have to be our permanent state. And there are actually some really impactful and really simple things we can do to truly be reenergized. 

Meg Kuhnle 14:01

Which I'd like to say is good news, right? It's not that good news email or a phone call or a text or whatever it is. It's good news that we're able to do that, right? We have the capacity. We don't have to wait to win the lottery. We don't have to wait for that amazing phone call, right? We have the ability and capacity to do that for ourselves. 

Molly Claire 14:20

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, and this is, it's like, you know, here I am, my, my oldest is 22, I have a 20 year old and I have a 14 year old. And it's just been, you know, within the last, well, it's been within the last decade that I've been learning all of this, but I would say, especially over the last five years, just really become aware of it. And I just think, oh, what a shame. This is a true, true, sad story, Meg. One of my boys had drawn a picture of me, a sketch of me. Okay. And it was, no, no, no. Okay, let me back up. But let's be honest. It probably was me. It was a sketch of a woman who looked so sad and he had put it up and he said it was a stay at home mom. I know. And I just remember thinking, oh my gosh, my child is seeing the wear and the tear and the heaviness that I was feeling trying to manage it all, right? Trying to keep my energy up. And it's just, I just think. 

Meg Kuhnle 15:37

Every mom should have a coach. 

Molly Claire 15:39

I know. Well, that's the thing, right? Like, oh, how I wish I would have understood and had someone like you back then, when I really was just surviving, trying to keep everything afloat and feeling a bit lost myself and not understanding how to get out of that. 

Meg Kuhnle 15:59

Yeah, it's uncomfortable. It's scary. But then to know that there are people that can help. What a resource. What a lifeline. 

Molly Claire 16:12

Yeah, yeah. So I wanna shift gears a little bit because I know we've talked about, right, we're talking about little kids, right? The work and the intensity and all of that stuff. And I think that sometimes we can kind of segment these periods of our life, right? And sometimes I think we can believe that when our kids are younger, when we perceive that they are demanding more of our time, that we can kind of think that parts of us need to just be on hold, right? It's like, okay, well, this is a season. And I'm not saying there's not merit and good ways of using those ways of thinking as well. But I think that what I wanna highlight here is sometimes we can believe that, okay, during this time of my life, I have to give up some parts of me. I need to be really self-sacrificing. This is just like a time. And then when further down the road, I'll be able to be me again. I'll be able to have time for me again. And I don't think this is very helpful for us to think this way. What are your thoughts on this, Meg?

Meg Kuhnle 17:24

Oh, yeah, so by putting ourselves on hold, by putting ourselves last, it is just so defeating, right? It is just so hard to show up every day, every week, put in the effort in yourself, in with your family, in with your community, your connections, whatever it is, when we think that we get to have our turn later, right? Because it is so important and it's so much more fun and fulfilling, right, to experience the journey with them. And so much of our lives as moms, as parents, is helping them, right, helping them learn, helping them grow, pouring into them. And by putting ourselves last, right, we don't get to have any of that fulfillment in life, right, but by, you know, learning ourselves, whether it's through coaching, learning about yourself, whether it's just trying different hobbies, saying yes to the two opportunities you're invited to do, and allowing yourself to experience joy in them, right, it just makes the journey so much more exciting. And then, you know, as you're getting older, your kids are getting older, we're not looking back and going, okay, now I get to be the person I was before kids. Well, problem, right, you've changed too, right? I am no longer a collegiate athlete, which is who I was before kids. And if I think that I'm gonna step onto a field and play sports again, I would be mentally excited but my body would have other opinions about that, right? So it's just, it's important to keep that connection with yourself all along the way so that we don't feel so lost and like the rug's been ripped out from under us when we're not, you know, on duty all the time.

Molly Claire 19:27

Yes, yes. And I think that that is, I think that is one of the biggest challenges that we can experience as women when we move into motherhood. And especially because I mean, let's be honest, you have other human beings depending on you for their lives, right? For so many needs. So I just want to pause for a minute. And if any of you are judging yourselves or criticizing yourselves or thinking, well, what am I supposed to do? I must be doing this wrong. That is not what this is about. This is about talking about a real struggle that makes a lot of sense that we experience it, where we are trying to understand where and how do I fit in a situation where there are new and real demands from another person. But I think that something you said, Meg, that I want to make sure all of you are taking in here is that when we are not allowing space for ourselves to be ourselves, to still feel alive in who we are, I believe that it dampens our spirit. And ultimately, I think it actually limits our ability to be our very best in whatever role we're playing, right? So in this case, as a mom, when, you know, when I was certainly doing this without my awareness, right, but shutting down parts of me and putting them on hold and being self-sacrificing, I was dimming my light, I was shutting down my energy, and I wasn't bringing some of the best parts of me as a mom. And I feel like I did a good job, I brought a lot of great things, but how much better could it have been and how much more fulfilling for me had I been able to keep myself alive within even those most challenging moments? 

Meg Kuhnle 21:29

Right. And what I'm not saying is, right, you need to have a life separate from mom. You should have all these kind of external things. 

Molly Claire 21:39

That, it's like that can be the case, right? That can be. But it's like that's the point. This isn't prescribing a certain form that this takes. 

Meg Kuhnle 21:49

Correct. It's right. It definitely can be anything. But, you know, if I think about me and my personal interests, I love cooking and baking. Okay, I will tell you right now, I don't like making dinner every night. But when you say when I get to do something creative, it will typically be around food. And when I can invite that opportunity with my kids, and kind of glow in that space, and I can teach in that space, they get to learn about me too. Right? They get to have that connection. They get to know that, oh, yes, mom does love baking. And I hope, you know, years down the road, they're going to remember that about me. That is something that is me. Yes, it's hard sometimes to do it with extra people. Right? But I can also lean into my love for it and my love for my family. And I can make it the best experience possible. Not saying it's always a great experience, right? But I can have my light in that zone and not, you know, kind of squash it. 

Molly Claire 22:52

Yeah, yeah. So I wanna ask you a little bit about, I know one of the things that you do as you work with moms in all of this, right? In helping them to have a better handle on, right? How they're managing everything, be more confident as a mom, you know, show up as a mom in the way that they want to. And within all of this, I know a core piece of it is you helping them to know themselves, to connect with themselves. Tell us a little bit about that. 

Meg Kuhnle 23:25

Yeah, that is absolutely the root of what we do. And there's so many ways to kind of uncover that true self that's in you. But that's always where we have to start. It's me and whoever I'm coaching, just starting that relationship. Help me understand you. Help me understand your beliefs, your values, your vision, your just dreams of what you want. And also look into what you love, what do you believe your gifts are? What are your strengths? And let's lean into those things. And I don't know what is right for anyone, right? I don't have the magic wand. But I can certainly help mom understand herself more, create that vision of how she really wants to be. But also, as I said, really lean into those gifts and talents and ability that are so unique to her as we create this plan and as I support her through coaching. 

Molly Claire 24:39

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh my gosh. So I want to share a couple thoughts that I just had. And then, Meg, any last things you want to offer as we wrap up this conversation. Have those in mind because I want to make sure you have that opportunity. And then, of course, you can tell everyone where to find you as well. But just as you were talking, I was thinking about how quick we are to want to invest time, energy, and resources into developing our kids, right? And what can we give them? How can we support them? My oldest son is a musician. And I remember driving him across town to be a part of some orchestra, you know, when I was a single mom and like, okay, we do this and we do this. And how do I build up belief in him? And my middle son was into sports, right? And he did tournament teams. And we're going all over the place. And my daughter does theater. And it's like, I know I can say for me, and I know many moms feel this way, we want to support them in their development and give them every opportunity. And something that we don't often remember, and that I thank goodness it is being talked more and more about is that we as a parent, as we are developing self continuously, nurturing self, caring for self, there are enormous benefits for our kids, that they cannot get any other way that they cannot get from being signed up for the latest and greatest program. And a couple of these at all highlight is number one, when we as a parent, have greater emotional regulation, we are setting our kids up for success. That is what we are doing because they cannot get that another way, right? Meaning like the impact it has on a child when they have a parent who has an understanding of themselves and is grounded, and has good emotional regulation, the benefit is enormous. The other thing is that our kids are seeing and experiencing a living breathing example of a human being who is expanding and reaching their potential. And so I think that investing in ourselves as parents, moms, dads, investing in ourselves, growing ourselves, and continuing to be a fully present human being, that is absolutely one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids. 

Meg Kuhnle 27:22

Hands down. And if anyone listening is like me, value, right? What's the value? Okay. Not only am I absorbing whatever I need in my coaching, right? It is reaching to each of my three kids and my husband, right? So I'm like, but it's good. It's going five different directions, right? And just by, by that, right, as they grow and they interact with people, right? They're examples for whether it's their peers, their coworkers, whatever. If they choose to have kids one day, right? So it's, it's, it's this, this bit of work. It just, it's a snowball and it's amazing. Absolutely amazing to witness.

Molly Claire 28:07

Absolutely. I mean when I think about all of the many things that I've you know tried to do as a mom and and all of the effort I've put in, I can say hands down the greatest gift that I've given my kids and my youngest is you know the greatest recipient of it is working on my own well-being and being in a place now where I have a teenage daughter and with all the ups and downs that she experiences I'm so strong and steady and present because of this work and that is the greatest thing that that I can give her so. Okay Meg, any final thoughts, final words for my audience? 

Meg Kuhnle 28:46

I would like to ask a favor for your audience, okay. So I have, I'm challenging myself. I love competition. As I told you, I was a collegiate athlete and that continues here in my coaching zone. And my goal is to coach someone in all of the states and see how far I can go. So I would love to have the opportunity to coach people from all over. And I want to hear about the shenanigans that the kids are doing. I don't care how old the kid is. I want to hear about the shenanigans. And then I also want to help you. I want to help you. It could be with your energy. It could be with that handling the shenanigans, right. How I can help you show up in a way that you're just proud of at the end of the day. That you know that your kid is observing and witnessing and experiencing so that they too can mimic that behavior. So I would absolutely love to coach the moms in all of the states. And the way to do that is to simply send me an email with your state name in the subject line. And my email is info at mega thrive coaching.com. So again, subject line, your state, and then send it to [email protected]. 

Molly Claire 30:09

Oh my gosh, what an awesome challenge. I'm just like imagining, I could like see the map in my mind and I can see all the dots like all across the country. 

Meg Kuhnle 30:18

I think I need to put it up somewhere. I think. 

Molly Claire 30:21

So I think so too. What a fantastic mission. So listen, my listeners rise to the occasion, right? Reach out, send your space. And what an awesome, awesome challenge. Meg, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for the work you do. I know having, you know, trained and mentored, Meg, I know the heart you bring to helping women to improve their sense of well-being and everything in their life. So thanks for what you do. And thanks for being here. 

Meg Kuhnle 30:55

Yes, thank you. Can I also share my socials and my website for anyone that may be interested? Thank you. So my website is megathrivecoaching.com. So my name is Meg, megathrivecoaching.com. And then it's the same on Facebook and Instagram. And then my name is Meg Kuhnle on LinkedIn. So I look forward to meeting you. I really look forward to the emails and coaching people in all the states. So please take me up on the offer. It will be absolutely my pleasure. 

Molly Claire 31:26

I know, and you're going to have to keep me posted on these dates and what you get. And of course, everything that Meg just shared is in the show notes as well. So reach out to her. She's amazing. Thanks, Meg. All right, everyone. I'll talk with you next week.