Molly Claire 00:39

Welcome to this week's podcast. I am thrilled to bring you an interview, a conversation, with master certified coach Heidi Alsop. She is incredible. I have known her for quite a while now. You're gonna hear more about Heidi's story. And I want to tell you a little bit more about what you're going to hear. When Heidi and I first met, she had no clients. She had no idea how she was going to get clients. She had a first level, like, certification for coaching, but that's where she was. And fast forward, you're gonna hear about her journey today of now where she is, she has clients, and in fact, she and I were mastermind-ing last week about how she can have her plan in place to now scale so that she can work a little fewer hours and make more than twice the money. That's the plan, and that's where she's headed, and it's just going to happen. It's already happening. So, I'm so excited to share this with you. From zero to thriving business, and she does incredible work. Welcome to the podcast, Heidi.

​

Heidi Allsop 01:44

Thank you, Molly. I am so thrilled to be here. We've talked before, but this, this feels different.

​

Molly Claire 01:52

Yeah. Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 01:52

This feels different because I'm in a different place, and my business is in a different place.

​

Molly Claire 01:57

It's so exciting, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 01:59

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 01:59

Okay. So I do want to dive into your story, but first, tell the people, who are, who do you serve? Tell them about your business.

​

Heidi Allsop 02:06

Yeah. Absolutely. So my name's Heidi Allsop. I am a master life and parenting coach for moms raising teenage boys. I, myself, with my husband, we've raised five sons. My youngest just graduated from high school, and, uh, we have lived that journey ourselves, and now I get the great opportunity to talk to moms and help them raise their sons. I have a podcast that's called Raising Boys, Building Men, where I talk all things raising those teenage sons. My goal is to start a movement to raise better men, and it's happening, and the ball is rolling, and it's so, so very exciting.

​

Molly Claire 02:46

Yeah, yeah. And I would say, you say that's your goal. I think it's already happening. The movement is happening, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 02:54

Yeah. Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 02:55

And, you know, I wanna talk about your journey, but as you were talking, Heidi, one of the things that really stands out to me about our work together in particular is that the heart for what you do and who you help and how you help them has always been there.

​

Heidi Allsop 03:14

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 03:15

And it would have moments where it was clear to you.

​

Heidi Allsop 03:19

Mm.

​

Molly Claire 03:19

But then, of course, as we all do, we have this inspiration, we have this knowing, and then comes in the noise. Well, is this really good enough? Is this clear enough? Is this a good enough niche? Will this work? Am I wrong? Right? The doubt coming in.And, and I just remember several times early in our work together where we, we worked together to help you to be able to really anchor yourself in those moments of clarity and knowing, and, and that I think has become a guiding force for you.

​

Heidi Allsop 03:55

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 03:56

And it's really beautiful to see, because I think about those early conversations and what you shared about what mattered to you, and I think about where you are now on this podcast, and it's like it's such a beautiful thing to see that has been your guiding force.

​

Heidi Allsop 04:10

Mm, mm-hmm. Well, and it's funny that you talk about that, because I remember times-- I've been in your world for several years…

​

Molly Claire 04:18

A little while.

​

Heidi Allsop 04:18

... maybe three or four years, feels several, but I remember in the beginning, I was a stay-at-home mom for many, many years, raising... I mean, when you have five sons, you really, that's what you're doing.

​

Molly Claire 04:32

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 04:32

And I have a bachelor's degree in social work. I always had a love for helping other people. But my experience was raising these sons, and, and I have such a passion for it, and I feel like that I've taken a very deep dive, I mean, just living life, and also studying what is going on with these boys , what is, what happens in their brains.

​

Molly Claire 04:53

Right.

​

Heidi Allsop 04:54

And, and I was bringing that to the table, and at the very beginning as we started to work together, you would ask me a question, and I would answer that question, and I just wanted so desperately for you to say, "Okay, here. This. Do this."

​

Molly Claire 05:08

Yeah, yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 05:08

And you didn't. And you would say, "What do you think about this?" And which, uh, looking back, is what solidified, it is what anchored me.

​

Molly Claire 05:17

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 05:17

But at the time, I was kind of frustrated and mad, and thinking, "Come on, Molly, just tell me what to do." And in the brilliance of knowing that the answers were always within me, you asked me the questions, and that is what anchored me in this passion, and the confidence to become the person that helps moms with their teenage sons.

​

Molly Claire 05:42

Yeah. Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 05:42

I mean, that's a big hat to put on.

​

Molly Claire 05:46

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 05:46

And you helped me put that on because you helped me gain that confidence in this is not just something I think is nice to do, but this is what my purpose and my calling is going forward.

​

Molly Claire 06:00

Yeah. And I think, right, as we worked together to help you to really see and believe in your own clarity, that's exactly what your clients need to do, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 06:13

Exactly.

​

Molly Claire 06:14

I do remember one time in particular, you had posted for me on Slack, and I remember it was kind of like, "You know, listen, Molly, like, if I'm really being honest, this is really what I wanna say about my message", right?

​

Heidi Allsop 06:26

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 06:26

But there were, there was this idea in your mind like, "Oh, maybe it wasn't niche enough," or, "It wasn't clear enough," or, "It wasn't a problem to be solved enough," right? But you were like, "If I'm being honest, this is what it is."

​

Heidi Allsop 06:38

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 06:39

And I do remember reading that, and I do remember that I, I knew it was the thing because I could feel it in what you wrote, but I, what I remember saying to you, "Tell me why you're saying this and tell me what you think and feel about this." And I, I just, I mean, it's probably funny to you that I even remember that because it was in the midst of, like, a whole but I remember these things.

​

Heidi Allsop 07:11

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 07:11

And I remember you, and I remember it being the first time that I saw you really step into standing up for what you knew was true for you, standing up for your own clarity which was the beginning of this path where you are a very self-led woman.

​

Heidi Allsop 07:33

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 07:33

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 07:34

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 07:34

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 07:34

Yeah. We're remembering the exact same experience because you responded to that Slack message, and that's where I thought, "Why doesn't she just tell me?" Gosh, Molly, this is why, this is why we're working together is so that you can tell me what to do.

​

Molly Claire 07:50

You're right.

​

Heidi Allsop 07:50

But once again asking me those questions is what anchored me and is what helped me speak my truth. Like you said, this is what I now help the moms that I work with do. Like, I don't know how they should raise their kids, but they do, and I help them land in that space where they become so much more confident. And there's two parts of this, Molly, because the part about my clarity and who I help and how I help them, that was one of the things. But I also remember specifically you had an in-person. And here's the truth for everybody that's listening. I jumped into Molly's world, and then I, I did everything that you offered. I mean, I really have. You said, "We're- I'm doing this, this class. Come to Dallas." I was on a plane, and I came to Dallas.

​

Molly Claire 08:41

Mm.

​

Heidi Allsop 08:41

And I think that's part of, um, of what has propelled my growth in my business is that I, I just decided to be all in. I'm in.

​

Molly Claire 08:52

Yeah. Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 08:52

And I, I trust Molly. I know that she's gonna help me find what's within me. But I will never forget being in Dallas in a, it was like a boardroom or a conference room.

​

Molly Claire 09:02

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 09:02

And I remember it being freezing cold. I don't know what it was, but remember how cold we were? We had, like, every particle of clothing we were wrapped up in. But, but we walked in-

​

Molly Claire 09:11

We had no heat, and we had more food than we could eat in, like, a month.

​

Heidi Allsop 09:15

It was so great, so great. But I'll never forget you walking in. I can picture you. I can picture what you were wearing, and you walked in, and you owned the room, and you said, "We're starting with you, Heidi, because I know you don't believe this right now, but I believe this for you, and you just lean into my belief until you believe it." And I, it was something clicked in me, and I was like, "Wow, if Molly Claire thinks I can do this, maybe it's possible." And I did lean into your confidence in, in me, and but that started my budding like, I have confidence in many parts of my life.

​

Molly Claire 09:50

Sure.

​

Heidi Allsop 09:50

I mean, I've raised these boys. Like, I have confidence, but I'd never built a business before. And so it was, I was really holding onto this belief, "I don't know what I'm doing. There's a right and a wrong way to do this." And, and you coming into that room and saying, "We're starting with you, Heidi. I know you don't see this, but I see it for you, and you just, you just lean on me until you see it for you, too," and, and I did. And it didn't happen overnight, but over the course of time I really told myself several, on several occasions that, "Molly thinks I can do it, then we're just gonna do it."

​

Molly Claire 10:23

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:23

"We're just gonna do the next thing."

​

Molly Claire 10:25

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:25

And, and I have. There's so much room for growth, but I see a path.

​

Molly Claire 10:33

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:33

And it's so much fun.

​

Molly Claire 10:35

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:35

And I think that turning point was in that freezing cold conference room when you said to me, "I see this for you, Heidi."

​

Molly Claire 10:42

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:42

"And you're just gonna need to trust me."

​

Molly Claire 10:44

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:45

So good.

​

Molly Claire 10:46

I love it. I love it.

​

Heidi Allsop 10:47

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 10:48

And I think, you know, a- as you're talking and we're talking about this self-trust, the ability to know ourselves, to differentiate, um, and see when we have clarity is such a big deal, and it's, it's one at... Like, from the beginning in the course of master coach training that is one of the main things that we are working on week over after week, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 11:12

Hmm.

​

Molly Claire 11:12

Like, all throughout the program, yes, we study different niches. Yes, we study the mind, the nervous system, the emotions. I talk a lot about that stuff, but the thing that I would say is woven throughout all of it is know yourself.

​

Heidi Allsop 11:26

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 11:26

Right? Find your clarity and be able to trust your knowing as a person in your personal life, as a business owner, and in your coaching abilities, right? And, and I just... So I think it's a big thing, and I think this is, like those of you listening, one takeaway, like, what is your level of self-trust and self-knowing and being able to get the clarity on your path that you need to move forward?

​

Heidi Allsop 11:56

Hmm.

​

Molly Claire 11:56

Because it's, it's gotta be there.

​

Heidi Allsop 11:58

Mm.

​

Molly Claire 11:58

And boy, doesn't it make it easier when it is?

​

Heidi Allsop 12:01

So much easier.

​

Molly Claire 12:02

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 12:02

I go into coaching... I'm not nervous when I get, when I click the Zoom link I'm excited.

​

Molly Claire 12:08

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 12:08

I just can't wait to see what, what comes of this conversation between my client and I and where she's going to take it and how it's going to improve her life. And that absolutely comes from week after week after week in master coach training and all of the experiences that we've had together, you and I, in, um, that self-trust, that owning that I am capable, and I have all of the tools that I need. And more importantly, my client has all of the tools that she needs and we just need to work together.

​

Molly Claire 12:43

Yes.

​

Heidi Allsop 12:43

We're just working together. I'm asking her questions so that she can, the same that you did for me, help me unveil those things that I needed to move forward. That's exactly the work I'm doing with my clients.

​

Molly Claire 12:53

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 12:54

What is next for you in your relationship with your son? Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 12:57

Yeah. That's right. And that's what I love about coaching so much, right? It's like, it's like I do the work for myself, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 13:04

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 13:04

And then the things I'm able to learn and cultivate, I'm able to extend that to my clients, right? And as I'm teaching in master coach training-

​

Heidi Allsop 13:11

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 13:11

I'm teaching all of my coaches to be better coaches. But guess what? That starts by applying all of it to you.

​

Heidi Allsop 13:18

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 13:18

Right?

​

Heidi Allsop 13:19

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 13:19

Because when we understand the inner work of knowing ourselves, seeing what we desire, believing that we can move toward it, and actually making it happen, that's when we can lead others to do it and see it. We can't really skip over that part.

​

Heidi Allsop 13:34

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 13:34

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 13:34

Absolutely. Yeah. And, and that's, that's the fun of watching growth in people. That just lights me up in ways... And I haven't told you this, Molly. This is kind of a fun story because over the course of, of master coach training and, and our time together, uh, my husband, who is in corporate America, he'll ask me questions about different situations. Like maybe somebody me- one of his employees or someone, an owner of a billion-dollar company that he's working with and, and trying to help in different varieties and aspects. And he'll come to me and say, "What, what, what do I do here? Like, you know people. What do I do here?" And this is, that's what I tell him. You need to understand, Brent, that this person is, their nervous system is out of whack. You can't, you can't talk to them the same way when their nervous system is heightened. You need to help them calm down, and then you can go in here. But it's, it's been fun to talk with him. So anyone listening to this that's in a leadership role and thinking, "Well, maybe I don't coach," yes, you do. I coach my kids. I c- my husband coaches his employees. He coaches the people that he works with. I think this work is important in every aspect of our life because we understand ourselves and so we can better understand people.

​

Molly Claire 15:00

Exactly. Exactly.

​

Heidi Allsop 15:01

And unless you live under a rock in the wilderness, you need this work because you're always engaged with people. And if you can understand people, you can help them thrive in a way that they want to be around you.

​

Molly Claire 15:17

That's right. That's right

​

Heidi Allsop 15:19

Yeah. It's been fun.

​

Molly Claire 15:19

Well, listen, you tell Brent we've got a spot for him in master coach training.

​

Heidi Allsop 15:23

Yes. Yes.

​

Molly Claire 15:23

You know, I mean, as you were talking, I'm thinking about Steph, another one of my master coaches who you're friends with.

​

Heidi Allsop 15:29

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 15:29

And I had a conversation with Steph and her husband, Phil, and same thing. He's like "I can't believe how much I'm using this, how this impacts our family, how this impacts my work." And, and so it's, it really is true. And like right now in master coach training, um, you know, I have a man in there who has his own business. He's not coaching. But he's wanting this so he can do a better job with his consulting that he does and the people he leads. And I have another woman coming in this fall who, you know, she is like, she is assistant to the CEO of this firm, and he's wanting her to learn this for herself to have that ripple effect. So it's, it really is so powerful. I feel like it should be required for all of us.

​

Heidi Allsop 16:11

I agree. I've never used geology in my real life, although that was required in college. But wow, I sure could have used this in many aspects of my life. Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 16:24

Yeah. Okay. So another thing I wanna talk about with regard to your success, which you have done so beautifully and powerfully is really owning your expertise.

​

Heidi Allsop 16:38

Mm.

​

Molly Claire 16:38

And, you know, we can talk about this in terms of niche. And I know people kind of freak out about that, and what's my niche, and is it clear enough, and all of that. And we'll just put the freakout aside. What I wanna focus on here, because certainly in master coach training, right, we dive into different niches. You learn parenting. You learn about relationships, about grief, productivity. So that's really fantastic to have that. And I do think claiming a message is important. But I wanna speak even more to just setting yourself up as the expert and owning that. And that's another thing that I work with my coaches on, and you and I, right? And w- when you came in and... I'm telling you, Heidi, like I'm like, "This is how you do it," and you'd say, "Okay," right? And you did it. And you've claimed your expertise. Tell me how it has impacted you as you think about building your business, being willing to start a podcast, being willing to claim this. How has it impacted you to step into your expertise and being an expert?

​

Heidi Allsop 17:42

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think there's s- several components in this. I think number one was borrowing that belief, right? Increasing, increasing my belief that, that I'm capable of doing this, that this is what I'm moving forward with, and borrowing that from you until I really did ingrain that into every fiber of myself. And then I remember someone saying once when I was going through all of the niche drama myself, someone saying, "What could you talk about all day long every day? And because that's what you'll be doing."

​

Molly Claire 18:13

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 18:13

And I thought I am so passionate about raising sons.

​

Molly Claire 18:20

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 18:20

I am so passionate about helping other moms raise sons, but I never wanted to be a parenting coach. I was like, "That's just, I don't know." But you tell me, telling people, you know, how to raise their kids, I don't, I, I, I'm kind of a hot mess sometimes, and I don't know. Eh, but the more I dove into this and really understood that, once again, I'm not telling them how to raise their kids. I'm helping them see their best path. They are the experts.

​

Molly Claire 18:50

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 18:50

And that lights me up, and that helps me realize that, yeah, I can do that. I can claim that all day long, every day of the week, because I'm actually helping moms become more confident.

​

Molly Claire 19:04

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 19:04

So that's why this is a movement. It's not just people need Heidi. No, no, no. This is a movement. This is moms claiming their own path, their own way that they raise their sons and daughters and, and becoming more confident. And in doing that, it's the fastest, most effective way to get their son's behavior to improve and to help their sons become great men. So once I understood that that is what I'm doing, then all of a sudden standing up and owning that, I'll do that all day long. I'll scream that from the rooftops.

​

Molly Claire 19:39

Yeah, yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 19:40

Right? Moms you know what you're doing. You just forgot. You're just looking outward. You're just trying to get the information from everyone else, kind of like I was trying to do from you in the beginning. And so doing this work for myself has helped me to step up into, yeah, all day long I'll talk about this. I don't have any doctor behind my name or in front or wherever you put that. But I've been in the trenches, right?

​

Molly Claire 20:06

That's right.

​

Heidi Allsop 20:06

I've been in the trenches for 31 years. I'll have this conversation with anybody.

​

Molly Claire 20:11

And your clients are having incredible transformations and results.

​

Heidi Allsop 20:15

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 20:16

And what a gift because what a ripple effect, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 20:19

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 20:19

You're impacting them. You're impacting their sons, and then it just carries on and on.

​

Heidi Allsop 20:23

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 20:23

It's so incredible.

​

Heidi Allsop 20:25

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 20:25

And, you know, as you're talking, and just, it, it's, it's kind of leading up to what I wanna talk about next, which is, um, you know, the deep work of master coach training with the nervous system and the emotions and the fact that as you're helping your clients to be more grounded, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 20:42

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 20:42

To be more regulated, what a difference it makes. So we're gonna talk about that here in just a minute.

​

Heidi Allsop 20:47

Mm.

​

Molly Claire 20:47

But what I wanna say, uh, you know, as a follow-up to what you were just talking about with this expertise is I wanna point out to those of you listening that stepping into your expertise, owning your expertise, being an expert in the coaching space does not necessarily mean that you have the answers for someone, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 21:15

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 21:15

I mean, and every coaching business is gonna be a little bit different, and for some people, they do give a certain protocol, right? With exercise or food, and so I'm, at, uh, I'm not saying that.

​

Heidi Allsop 21:24

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 21:24

But I think that what I really encourage with my coaches and teach is that when you know your process of coaching, right? For, so for my coaches typically, right, they are an expert in understanding how to help their client see themselves, right? How to help their client, uh, take a look at how they're feeling, what it's coming from, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 21:52

Mm.

​

Molly Claire 21:52

Having, helping their clients to have that awareness, helping to see thoughts, those kind of things, right? So you can be an expert in the process without the pressure of being an expert in where this goes or what advice is given.

​

Heidi Allsop 22:08

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 22:08

And I think that applies to, like, those of you especially, you know, I have a lot of followers still from the Life Coach School, where it's like, well, we don't wanna have an agenda when we're coaching, right? We're coaching not to get our clients to a certain place we think they should go but we're coaching to hold space, and this is exactly it. I'm an expert in holding space. I'm an expert in the process, and that's all I really have to do. Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 22:31

Well, and I'm an expert in helping them dig into their inner wisdom.

​

Molly Claire 22:36

Exactly.

​

Heidi Allsop 22:37

That's, that's the key.

​

Molly Claire 22:38

Exactly. Exactly.

​

Heidi Allsop 22:38

That is the answer. That is that's the whole point because then they're not relying on me to parent their kid, but they're relying on themselves. All of a sudden now they realize that, "I do have the answers. I do know what I'm doing."

​

Molly Claire 22:52

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 22:52

"I do know how to connect with this child." And that's the key.

​

Molly Claire 22:57

Yeah, yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 22:58

That's the beautiful part.

​

Molly Claire 22:59

Because, I mean, really truly, no offense to you, Heidi, but they're gonna do a better job parenting their kid than you are, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 23:05

1,000%. I don't know what their kid needs.

​

Molly Claire 23:07

They're the ones that are supposed to be doing it.

​

Heidi Allsop 23:09

A lot of times I never meet their kid. Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 23:11

Exactly, exactly.

​

Heidi Allsop 23:12

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 23:12

So then, right, you are the expert in helping them be the best them that they can be, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 23:19

Yeah, yeah.

​

Molly Claire 23:19

By, by all, all this work that we do. So anyway, so let's talk a little bit more about that. In terms of master coach training, your experience of master coach training and how it's expanded your ability to help your clients.

​

Heidi Allsop 23:33

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 23:33

I know that's, like, a big, broad statement, but tell me a little bit about that.

​

Heidi Allsop 23:37

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 23:37

How has master coach training enhanced your ability to help your clients?

​

Heidi Allsop 23:42

Yeah, yeah. Well, uh, several ways. Several ways. One is the, um, continuing education classes that you do on just coaching, just coaching skills.

​

Molly Claire 23:53

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 23:53

Coaching mastery. I'm pretty sure that's what you call those, those classes, is coaching mastery, and that is huge.

​

Molly Claire 24:01

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 24:01

And bringing, bringing a situation that I currently have with a client and walking through that with you is so helpful.

​

Molly Claire 24:07

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 24:07

Helps me think about my coaching in a different way, helps me up-level my skills.

​

Molly Claire 24:12

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 24:12

But there are a couple other things that really made a huge difference in my experience as a coach, and I use it, I use these skills every day is the work that Leah Davidson does with us in Master Coach Training in terms of the nervous system. I really do feel like that is the missing piece. And with all of my moms, you know you can't you can't have a good conversation with your son if you're dysregulated and he's dysregulated.

​

Molly Claire 24:38

No.

​

Heidi Allsop 24:38

It's just, that's the first step, right?

​

Molly Claire 24:40

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 24:40

So I, I help my clients see, okay, here, here's what we need to do first before we can get here.

​

Molly Claire 24:47

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 24:48

And that's, that, that was integral. And it was interesting that, um, you have a component in Master Coach Training about grief, and I thought that was going to be interesting, but I didn't realize how much that was going to impact my coaching because there is so much grief in motherhood.

​

Molly Claire 25:05

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 25:05

There's grief as they grow. There's grief as they make decisions that maybe don't align with your family values. There's grief when maybe your child doesn't respond in the way you want. There is a lot of grief in motherhood.

​

Molly Claire 25:20

Yes.

​

Heidi Allsop 25:21

And that was, that was much more impactful to what I do than I thought it would be.

​

Molly Claire 25:25

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 25:25

That was a very big component. I thought it was gonna be interesting. I thought this was fascinating.

​

Molly Claire 25:31

Sure. And maybe this'll be interesting if one of my clients happens to experience loss while I'm with them.

​

Heidi Allsop 25:35

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they do. I mean, we lose different stages of our child. They're holding your hand and walking through the grocery store one day, then they don't want to talk to you the next, and there's some grief in there.

​

Molly Claire 25:48

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 25:49

So that's another component of the course, the Master Coach Training, that has been so valuable that I didn't anticipate but it's been a, just a great value add to my business.

​

Molly Claire 25:59

I wanna talk more about that one because before you said it I was actually thinking I was like, "I'm gonna ask Heidi about grief," because I remember conversations we had.

​

Heidi Allsop 26:07

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 26:07

You brought a case study call, and we're looking at this, right? And do we need to work with the emotions? Do we need to work with this? What is it? And it's the grief. And I have another episode all about, uh, helping your clients with grief. It's an interview with Krista St-Germain, who teaches in Master Coach Training, and Mickey Gardner and Sharon, and, and it's a conversation around that because I think this is a place where a lot of coaches, without a broader understanding and a, and more d- a depth of understanding of emotions, can get really stuck with clients.

​

Heidi Allsop 26:39

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 26:40

Right? Because what we don't realize is that grief is anytime there is a perceived loss, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 26:46

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 26:46

And so for your moms, for example, for those of you listening, I'll give you s- some specific examples, right? When a mom thinks their relationship with their child would have been a certain way and it isn't, there's a grief there.

​

Heidi Allsop 26:58

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 26:58

When a mom thinks their child will turn out a certain way and they don't, there's a lot of grief there. And without recognizing it and being skilled enough to hold space for and process that grief, you can be, you can be working with a client where there's actually a lot of constant dysregulation going on and frustration.

​

Heidi Allsop 27:18

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 27:18

And, and in my experience with those situations, no matter what flavor of grief a client is experiencing, we have to be able to recognize it and support them through it, and that is the only way that they're really going to be able to get more grounded and more clear on what needs to happen next.

​

Heidi Allsop 27:40

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 27:41

It's huge. It's huge.

​

Heidi Allsop 27:42

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 27:43

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 27:43

It's huge. It has become a much bigger component to my coaching than I anticipated.

​

Molly Claire 27:46

Yeah. Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 27:47

And I, what a, yeah, what a great asset that now I can offer to my clients that they never realize. We just don't realize when we're in it that oh, that could be grief. And now I know what to do with that. I can move through it, move past it, and move on.

​

Molly Claire 28:04

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 28:05

And what a gift to give to my clients, is the ability to move on in that relationship in that space.

​

Molly Claire 28:12

And I think sometimes we think, well, we just need to accept what is and quit arguing with reality and kind of get over it and move on. But guess what? You're not gonna move on if you haven't been with the grief. That is how you move through it.

​

Heidi Allsop 28:23

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 28:23

Right?

​

Heidi Allsop 28:23

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 28:23

That is how we don't stay stuck in the past, actually.

​

Heidi Allsop 28:27

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 28:27

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 28:27

Yeah. Absolutely.

​

Molly Claire 28:28

Thank you for this interview. I know we're, we're gonna wrap up here in a minute, but I just, I wanna speak to also, um, how cool it is when, you know, with, uh, just, as you have, like, a greater depth of understanding, not only does it help you to help your clients more effectively, but it's just been so fun to see you bring this into your podcast as well, right?

​

Heidi Allsop 28:54

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 28:55

Allowing you to speak more intelligently, more articulately, and to really identify and name some of these things that your clients couldn't see otherwise.

​

Heidi Allsop 29:04

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 29:05

And it's just, it's so cool. I just, I'm so honored to be, like, a small part of your journey, and it's like, it was so cool the other day when we were talking about your business strategy, and I remember the first Zoom call we had, and I'm like, "Oh, I wanna go back to that Heidi and say, 'Hey, Heidi, guess what?'"

​

Heidi Allsop 29:22

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 29:23

"Guess what we're gonna be doing in a few years," right?

​

Heidi Allsop 29:26

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 29:26

And you're gonna be following a big dream of yours pretty soon.

​

Heidi Allsop 29:30

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 29:30

Which is pretty exciting.

​

Heidi Allsop 29:33

So exciting.

​

Molly Claire 29:34

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 29:34

It's so exciting, and I wanna touch on that because I think it's a big part of this conversation, Molly, because I remember when I decided to do Master Coach Training, you had already done one, maybe two cohorts of Master Coach Training, and I was still in your world and doing some things for you. And, uh, I went to a business conference with my husband.

​

Molly Claire 29:54

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 29:54

We were in Boston. And you smile because you remember when I called you.

​

Molly Claire 29:59

I do.

​

Heidi Allsop 30:00

We are sitting at dinner, and my husband is talking about... He goes to this conference every year. It's required to keep his certifications that he has.

​

Molly Claire 30:09

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 30:09

And we're there, and I had been working on editing a podcast in the day while he was off at his classes, and we went to dinner. And I remember saying to him I owe it to my business to get continuing education. Like, it feels like the right thing to do for my business and for my clients. You do this, it's a no-brainer.

​

Molly Claire 30:31

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 30:32

It's like what we do every year, and, and I owe it to my business, to myself, to my clients, to continue to be educated. And I know the next step, and I also know the financial investment.

​

Molly Claire 30:46

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 30:46

But there is for him, too. And there's just no question on whether or not he's going to this conference every year. It's just what he does to stay up on his business.

​

Molly Claire 30:56

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 30:56

And that is when it clicked for me. I'm either running a business or I'm not. I'm either helping people or I'm not. And I'm in, and I'm jumping in with both feet, and this is what we do. We continue to be educated. We move forward in our field of study. Every business does that.

​

Molly Claire 31:21

Every, every professional field has it as a requirement, right.

​

Heidi Allsop 31:24

Exactly.

​

Molly Claire 31:25

Right.

​

Heidi Allsop 31:25

Exactly. And, and I owe that to everyone involved in this business, myself, my business, my clients. And that's when I called you from Boston. I said, "I'm in. Let's go."

​

Molly Claire 31:34

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 31:35

"Where do I pay?"

​

Molly Claire 31:36

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 31:36

And I, I haven't regretted it one second since that because it was a- and still is a, such a great move. Personally, I grew so much personally, and, and I appreciate that so much. But also, the gift that it has been for my clients and for my business.

​

Molly Claire 31:53

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 31:54

It’s just, that's what you do. You continue to be educated. So anyone listening right now that maybe is on the fence and like, "Oh, I don't know. I've already invested so much," you have. That's what business is.

​

Molly Claire 32:06

Yeah, yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:06

That's what it looks like to help people and to move forward. And I just remember that, that click in my brain that was like well, this is what you do.

​

Molly Claire 32:18

Yeah, yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:18

You run a business.

​

Molly Claire 32:20

Yeah. That's right. That's right.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:21

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 32:22

Oh.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:22

So I love it.

​

Molly Claire 32:22

Thank you so much, Heidi, for sharing your story.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:26

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 32:26

Um, you know, for, for coaches out there who you find yourself in that place where you're like, "Is this really gonna work? Is this real?" Yes, yes.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:34

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 32:35

And Heidi's one example, and I have other client examples as well where it, it is real. You really can do this.

​

Heidi Allsop 32:41

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 32:41

Right?

​

Heidi Allsop 32:41

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 32:41

And those of you listening, if, if you're feeling called to this, you know, you can tell that there are some gaps in your education, gaps in your skills, gaps in your own ability to have self-trust and to be self-led, and your ability to claim that expertise, this is the place to do it. So, you know, Master Coach training is open. I will just shout it from the rooftops because, I mean, hands down, I can say it will be the best time and, and money invested in the self, in the business, everything, so.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:12

Everything.

​

Molly Claire 33:13

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:13

Absolutely. And I'm just gonna add, not even if just, if you see gaps, but if you just want to become the best at what you do like, this is where you do that.

​

Molly Claire 33:26

Because here's the truth. When I have continued my education and gone deeper and expanded what I knew rarely did I realize the gap was there before I did it.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:36

Exactly.

​

Molly Claire 33:37

That's what's actually true.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:38

Yeah. Uh-huh.

​

Molly Claire 33:38

It's like it's only in the filling of the gap that I'm like, oh, my gosh, I was missing that. I didn't even know.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:44

Yes.

​

Molly Claire 33:44

Right? So I'm so glad you brought that up because yeah, I mean, spoiler alert, we always have more to learn. Wherever I am now, a year from now, my, my awareness and my skills and a- abilities are gonna be bigger. They're gonna be deeper.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:58

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 33:58

Hopefully.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:58

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 33:58

Right? That's how it should be, that we're always adding.

​

Heidi Allsop 33:59

That's the goal. That's growth. That's growth.

​

Molly Claire 34:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 34:02

And that's, that's the beautiful part about life is we keep learning and growing and, and pushing forward. And to have a program that walks you through that, holding your hand every step of the way, just walking you through this is what's next, this is what's next. Let's put it into practice. Let's talk about it.

​

Molly Claire 34:19

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 34:19

What a gift. It's amazing.

​

Molly Claire 34:21

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so listen, those of you ready for Master Coach training, Master Coach training, you can find it on mollyclair.com. It's there. I have resources for you. You can email [email protected] and ask for resources. The process is that you apply. We do a call. We make sure it's right for you. That is the path. That is the path for you, and I really wanna make sure it is a good fit.

​

Heidi Allsop 34:44

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 34:44

Those of you that are interested in Heidi, Heidi, before we go, tell people again the name of your podcast. We'll, of course, have it in the show notes, but tell them where they can find more about your work.

​

Heidi Allsop 34:53

Yeah. Thank you so much. Uh, my podcast is Raising Boys, Building Men, and you can find it on any, any of your podcast platforms. My website, Raising Boys, Building Men. Come over there. It will tell you everything that I do. If you wanna know more about what I do, or you have a teenage son that you're like, "Oh, my goodness, I don't even know how to talk to this boy anymore," I offer a free call. It's a reconnection strategy call, and it's usually one of three things. We sit there and figure out which one it is for you, and we can move forward.

​

Molly Claire 35:23

Mm-hmm.

​

Heidi Allsop 35:23

It's very productive, that call.

​

Molly Claire 35:25

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 35:25

You walk away with value. I just love helping moms. Moms are amazing, aren't they?

​

Molly Claire 35:33

Aren't they amazing?

​

Heidi Allsop 35:34

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 35:34

Aren't they amazing?

​

Heidi Allsop 35:36

They're amazing.

​

Molly Claire 35:37

I mean, it's like our, our bodies house another human being, provide food for another human being.

​

Heidi Allsop 35:44

Mm-hmm.

​

Molly Claire 35:44

It's really pretty incredible. And the, the mental and emotional load that we carry, it's just, it's so much, and I'm so grateful for the work you're doing for these women and for these boys that can grow into really good men.

​

Heidi Allsop 35:58

The reason this work has come to fruition, Molly, is because of you…

​

Molly Claire 36:02

Well, sort of.

​

Heidi Allsop 36:05

I really think I would've given up a long time ago and just said, "You know what? This is too hard." And I didn't, and you didn't let me, and I appreciate that.

​

Molly Claire 36:14

Yeah.

​

Heidi Allsop 36:14

'Cause now I'm on the other side of it, and it's so fun.

​

Molly Claire 36:16

This is your movement. This is your mission. This is your purpose.

​

Heidi Allsop 36:19

Yeah.

​

Molly Claire 36:21

Thank you, my friend. Thank you so much

​

Heidi Allsop 36:22

Thank you for having me. I loved chatting with you so much.

​

Molly Claire 36:24

Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you, all of you, for being here, and I hope you're as inspired as I am by Heidi's story. So I will talk with you all next week. Have a good one.