00:39

Hey, everyone. Welcome to this week's podcast. I feel like it has been so long since I've actually been here with you, speaking to you on the podcast, speaking with you. And, you know, over the last couple of months, you've been hearing some interviews that have been airing and some rebroadcasts, but me actually being here, speaking to you live in real time, it's been a little while.

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01:01

And I'm glad to be back. And I'm going to tell you a little bit about why it's been that way, what's been transpiring, and the implications of all of this for you and what I hope to bring to you and what I hope to teach you today as we are talking about how do we stay steady, stay anchored, stay regulated in the midst of what seems to be the chaos of life sometimes, when, as they say, life happens.

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01:30

So that's what we're talking about today. I'm going to share just a little bit about what's been going on in my personal life behind the scenes and probably share a little bit more next week, just because, you know, the reality is that we are all living a very messy life at times.

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01:46

And as you know, this podcast, Life, Mastered, it's such a funny and ironic title. I love the title. And also, it's always just such a funny thing to think about, that when we think about Life, Mastered, we think about, you know, this pretty picture of life and checking the boxes, right?

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02:03

And this achievement and how good are we doing? How impressive is our life? And the reality is that mastering life is a much messier and much more nuanced experience. And life mastery is truly about living a life where we are intentionally fully alive and open to what life is bringing us.

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02:32

It is understanding how to take in the lessons and the growth that is available to us and therefore live a life of more expansion, more depth of emotion, more capacity and capability to handle the ups and downs.

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02:54

And it's kind of like living a life that is so intentional. For you here, right? You are a go-getter, you're an achiever, you're into personal development. And I really genuinely believe and have experienced that–living a life where we are intentional, where we are connected with ourself, where we are leaning into the growth and the expansion, in one way, it's not an easy road, right?

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03:21

It's going to challenge us. And I believe it is a superior road. And I don't say superior, meaning that we're better than or there's some hierarchy. But I can say for me, it is a superior way of experiencing life because I am fully living.

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03:45

And I believe, I know to be true in my experience and working with so many clients that this is true for you, that this is true for all of us, that when we lean in and we open up and we're willing to sort through and sift through the really challenging emotions that present themselves.

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04:05

It allows greater peace than we've known before. It allows a greater sense of feeling whole. It invites more depth of connection and aliveness than we can otherwise experience. So that's my spiel. Let's talk a little bit about the last couple of months.

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04:27

I'm actually going to just share a little bit about what happened in the fall. I'm probably going to share more about what's been going on most recently on next week's episode. So stay tuned for that.

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04:36

So in the fall, I was all geared up for my Master Coach training launch. Okay. And I want you to think about when you've experienced something like this where you're just, you're ready to go. So this is what was happening.

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04:49

In the fall, last year, I had some incredible coaches graduate as holistic master coaches. They're doing the work. They're feeling better about their own life, their own relationships. They're feeling more whole.

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05:02

They're loving the work they're doing with their clients. 12 of my master coaches co-wrote a book with me. We launched it. It became an international bestseller, right? So this is all happening. I'm just absolutely on Cloud Nine and so ready to fill my next Master Coach training group.

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05:19

Ready to go, hire a new marketing team, enter: a car accident. So in the fall, unexpectedly, of course, as is always the case, right, with a car accident, I got in an accident on one Saturday morning and my friend and I were both in the car.

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05:37

We were on the toll road going at the point that we had impact, we were probably going about 50 miles per hour and we ran into a guardrail on my side. And I feel and am grateful that it was a miracle that it was not worse for either one of us.

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05:55

Of course, the car was totaled and I got out, you know, physically, certainly some scratches and bruising, et cetera. But the worst part was a concussion. And as many of you know, right, you relate to what it's like when you get injured or something happens and you think you're fine and you think, oh, it won't be that long and I'll be able to get back to it.

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06:15

And we kind of have this idea that we're superhuman. And then lo and behold, we're not superhuman. And this is exactly what happened for me. I was pretty thrown for a loop with the whole thing and had to pull back, you know, from the business for the week.

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06:30

And I say the week, knowing that as I'm talking about this, obviously that week turned into much longer. But this was my thought, right? I'm okay, right? I'll take the time away for the week. I'll address this.

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06:42

I'll get feeling better. I'll rest. I'll go to the doctor. I'll get treatment, et cetera. I'll have someone come in and cover things. Well, of course, the week turned into two and two turned into three.

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06:51

And I at a certain point came to the realization that I needed to severely limit screens, that my brain could not function the way that it was, and that I needed help. Not only did I need to pull back, I needed to cancel one of my launches entirely, putting it off until the coming year.

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07:08

I had to rely on my team. I had to bring in help. And I had to be willing to potentially disappoint my clients and my team by needing to pull back. Now, were my clients and my team disappointed? No, of course, this was in my mind, right?

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07:24

But that's how it can feel. And I want to just pause here and just acknowledge and normalize how challenging it can be for every one of us when we feel as though our capabilities and our capacity is limited and we have to pull back and we can't do as much and we fear disappointing people.

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07:47

And sometimes it is very true that by pulling back and doing less, others have to step up and do more. And I know this can be so challenging and uncomfortable. And what a normal thing to experience. And certainly what I experienced.

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08:01

So backing up a little bit, going through this was very challenging for me, brought up a lot of past grief in relation to my chronic fatigue and how that was for me. And really what I will say is some of the beautiful lessons in it that came about for me were reminders of how important it is that each of us learn to rely on other people.

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08:24

How important it is that we are willing to take care of ourselves when we need to be taken care of. And the power in some of the key principles in getting through these kind of times. So I'm going to talk about the key points of this episode.

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08:42

And then I'm going to tell you a little bit more about what's been transpiring because the life, you know, quote unquote, right, life happening, life being thrown at me has continued to happen. And what I continue to see again and again is how grateful I am for the principles that we talk about and teach on this podcast, for the principles and concepts that my clients are learning and implementing for themselves and for others.

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09:04

Because the reality is that we cannot control what comes toward us in life. We can definitely decide how we show up, the energy we bring, what we put out. We can definitely determine where we are channeling our mind, and we do not control everything around us.

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09:24

And there will be things in life that will challenge our ability to stay focused, challenge our ability to stay on track, challenge our ability to emotionally regulate. And what a gift that you are here, that we are all here, and that we can understand how to better maintain our well-being and stay on track no matter what happens.

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09:45

So that's what we're talking about. So I want to highlight a couple of things. If you're listening to this, you can probably relate to those times when life seems to be coming at you full speed. One of my clients this last year, it was unbelievable how many things kept happening with her family members, with her pet, with her own help, bringing up so many things.

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10:09

It was almost like she started the year so ready to go and so clear. And it was almost like, okay, let's double down on this woman and give her the greatest growth opportunities of her life. And it was a lot.

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10:22

And I know many of you can relate to that. And I want you to think about that. In fact, if you can right now, whether you're going through it now or whether you are a member of time, I want you to think about what that experience is like when you feel as though you're trying to move forward and you're on a track and the world around you does not seem to be helping you move forward and what that can feel like.

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10:45

And oftentimes it can feel discouraging. It can seem as though you're not able to make progress, that you'll never make progress. It can seem as though everything is working against you. How many of you can relate to these things?

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11:00

So I want to share with you three things just to help you kind of have some perspective. And then we're going to talk about the keys to staying steady no matter what's happening. Okay. So these three things I want to highlight for you.

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11:10

One is remembering that the brain prioritizes threat over progress. Right. And so when we're going through life and situations arise that are bringing our emotional activation up, bringing like creating that stress response, the cortisol goes up.

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11:29

That is when the brain is going to prioritize. There are threats here. I need to survive over progress. And so remember that, that if you are getting off track with things, when things are happening around you, it is because you are normal.

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11:42

It is because that is the way your brain works. Period. End of story. The second thing I want you to be mindful of, if you've ever felt discouraged in these situations, is that having a greater cognitive load makes progress very hard to perceive.

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11:58

So if you think about this, if you are maxed out on the amount of things that you are holding in your mind and holding emotionally, there isn't a lot of bandwidth there to actually acknowledge and see the growth and the progress.

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12:14

It's just not there. It's not that the progress isn't happening. And in fact, a lot of the progress we don't really see until later on. But just having that cognitive load be greater is automatically going to make it harder for the progress and the growth to actually be seen, to actually be perceived, very normal.

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12:35

And the third thing I want to mention in terms of giving you perspective, if you feel frustrated with this, is that stress, and specifically when we're thinking about the stress hormone cortisol, it narrows our attentive, like our perception and attentive focus.

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12:54

And this is very helpful, right? Think about when you're up against a deadline, cortisol goes up, we narrow in, right? We have that tunnel vision and we can get something done. And so if you think about it, when we're having that greater stress response, we're going to have that narrower field of view, which again, makes it harder for us to see the big picture and to understand how what we're doing is moving us forward.

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13:18

So I want you to remember those things. It is very normal to, first of all, sometimes have progress. I hate to even say have progress stunted because I actually really believe that some of the progress and growth we make underneath when the external progress doesn't seem to be happening is some of the greatest growth.

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13:38

So I'm going to rephrase that. It is normal that some of the tangible evidence and those measurable markers of progress to be slowed in the moment, to go kind of off like on the back burner when you're experiencing all of this.

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13:57

So that is normal. And also remember that part of it is that we can't really see the big picture. And so we just have to remember, even when we think we're not making progress, more than likely there are ways we are making progress we don't see or realize yet.

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14:13

Okay. So a few things to think about. Now let's go ahead and dive into how do we, when we think about, so as we're talking about this, right, all of you relate having these kind of experiences happen in your life, every single one of you, right?

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14:28

So how do we stay steady? How do we stay steady when life is throwing things at us? So let's talk first about the value and importance of being anchored in a destination. Now, when life happens, right, when I get in a car accident and I have a concussion, is it a great time to be thinking about exactly what I want or where I'm going?

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14:48

Maybe, maybe not, right? So I'm not suggesting that, but what I'm saying is overall right now in your life, as you're listening to this, are you anchored in the direction you are going in your life? There is incredible power in being clear on that as often as you possibly can with intention.

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15:09

Because when you are firmly anchored in where you are headed and these situations come up that can challenge us, that can bring these growth opportunities. Because you are anchored in your mind to where you are headed, all of that growth can move you toward that.

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15:28

So here's something I want you to take away from this. When you set your intention on what you want in your life, in your business, in your relationships, and you continue to revisit and anchor in that as often as possible with routines and practices.

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15:51

You will be amazed at how the subconscious mind is moving you toward it even in times when you feel distracted by life being thrown at you. So something to consider today. Are you anchored in where you're headed?

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16:08

And even if you are, how can you double down on that? What are the practices that you use regularly? Journaling, tapping, talking about, putting together a group of masterminders. How are you staying focused on where you're headed?

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16:24

Okay. So being anchored in, one of the key ways we stay on track, even when life happens, even when progress seems to be non-existent. The second thing that I want you to really think about in terms of being able to stay on track is, are you able to continually bring yourself back to being present and letting go of what you cannot control?

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16:51

One of my clients had significant health issues last year that came up, and she felt very much out of control with so many aspects of it. No answers, waiting, possibilities that were very fear-invoking, it bringing up the past.

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17:14

And we all can relate to this, right? We can all relate to this. And I think about my concussion in the fall and it feeling very out of control. I wanted my brain to be working. I wanted to be able to be focused.

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17:26

I wanted to make the plans. I wanted to launch the thing. I wanted to show up for my clients. And it was very much out of my control, what was happening for me physically. Now, there are parts of that that I can take control of, and we're going to talk about that in a minute.

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17:41

But as a practice now, whether you feel as though life is being thrown at you or you're in a period of more calm in your life, how are you able to see the world in a way where you can accept what is, where you can release control of trying to change things that are outside of your control?

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18:06

And how are you able to be present with yourself and present with what is within your control? What can I do within this situation? What is possible right here, right now? If I wasn't worried about what might happen and I wasn't worried about the past, but I could just be present right here, right now, and make the best use of my current capabilities and capacity.

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18:41

What would I do? This type of grounding experience is going to help you not only to regulate emotionally, not only to lower your stress levels, but it's going to allow you to have the greatest possible access to your prefrontal cortex, to your ability to make good decisions.

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19:10

It feels a lot better, and it's going to be the most effective thing for you. All right. So we've talked about being anchored. We've talked about accepting what is, releasing control, and being present.

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19:26

And the last thing I want to offer you today, when you are thinking about how can I stay steady no matter what life is bringing me, is the concept that is the one I am most passionate about, the one that is woven throughout every personal development program that I offer, that is woven throughout master coach training, every advanced training, literally everything I do.

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19:52

This is the thing you will hear me talk about over and over again. And it is the caring for self. And I'm not just talking about a bubble bath. I'm talking about committing to caring for yourself and your needs in such a profound way that your entire body, your mind, your heart, your soul, your nervous system can feel relaxed and at ease and safe so that you can make the most possible progress and expansion in your life.

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20:39

Now, what does caring for self mean? This could be, you know, many episodes, one after the other, but we're going to talk just really briefly about what this can mean for you today. When we take a look at this scenario, we're talking about the concussion, right?

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20:58

There were obvious things for me. Getting more rest, being willing to get off of screens, right? There are those things we can look at in those ways. And also, what I really needed and what I really needed to do to double down on caring for myself was allowing myself to feel what I felt and to process the feelings.

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21:19

And instead of getting things covered, but continuing to feel a tension and a guilt and a worry, acknowledging and being with those feelings and working with my own coach and using all of the practices that I teach to help me to be able to care about how I feel, to be able to support myself emotionally through the hard things that I was needing to accept.

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21:48

Caring for self in such a way that you are willing to say, my well-being, my peace of mind, and my help matters. And I know that for people, like many of my listeners here, you're someone who it is much easier for you to take care of other people than yourself.

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22:09

And what I want to tell you loud and clear is that when you can commit to caring for self, learning what that means, mastering your ability to care for yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and truly make space for you and your well-being to matter.

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22:35

100%. That is when and how you can be the most available to do good in the world. It is how you can be the most present and available for connection in your relationships. It is how you will be able to expand your life and create the greatest possible impact and the greatest possible success.

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23:00

It absolutely has to begin with caring for self. And I just want to acknowledge something I said at the very beginning, which is right, the brain prioritizes threat over progress. The cognitive load is going to automatically, it's putting us in more of a stress state.

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23:18

So what we're talking about here really is advanced skills, advanced practices that when you can continue to anchor yourself in where you're going, when you can over time continue to master the art of letting go of control and accepting what is and being present, and when you can commit to caring for self and learning and understanding what that really means, this is when you will be able to expand your life and relationships in the way that you most desire.

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23:59

All right. So good to be with you today. I can't wait to share more with you next week. I'm so happy to be back with you. Before I let you go, I make sure that you are on my email list. We are opening up the Masterful Coach Collective Community Membership right now.

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24:14

This is a place for you to have regular support every single week, not only with accountability calls every week, but coaching skill mastery, personal coaching where I'm there coaching you an opportunity to get that live experience where I can support you.

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24:28

You're going to get business training. You're going to have tapping with the amazing Melanie Faye. You're also going to have 90-day planning sessions. So I'm just kind of highlighting the key points of this, but if this is something you're interested in, if you are a coach, if you are a consultant, if you are a personal development junkie, this is the place for you.

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24:46

So check it out in the show notes. I would love to have you there in that community and sending you all so much love today. I'll talk with you next week.