Molly Claire 00:37

Hey, everyone. Welcome to this week's podcast. I'm thrilled to bring you an incredible interview today. So Neill Williams is going to be talking with you about how to be productive, how to manage your time. And trust me when I say her angle is completely different than anything you have heard before. One of the things that I love and admire about Neill is that she is an advocate of taking care of yourself and really building a business that supports you. And in her business, she has made the courageous and brave decision to scale back her business so that her business really is exactly what she needs and is what is in her best interest, which allows it to be in everyone else's best interest, too. So this is kind of a little side note. Neill and I connected a few months ago because I myself was feeling a bit overwhelmed with some of the complexities in my business. And I knew that Neill would be a great person to connect with and say, “Hey, let's chat. What was your experience like?” And in that conversation, it just reiterated to me again, just what a good human being she is and just how gifted she is in being a guide for others. So all that being said, let's go ahead and dive into this phenomenal interview. It is so good. Hello, everyone. Welcome to this episode of Life Mastered the Podcast. I am so excited to bring Neill Williams to you today. She is the host of the podcast, Success Genius. And I love, you're going to love, and I love the way that she brings in science to understand how we can be more effective. So she's a coach for female entrepreneurs. And just welcome to the podcast. I know we met several years ago in the coaching world, which seems like a lifetime ago, but welcome. Tell my audience a little bit about you and the work you do.

Neill Williams 02:39

Thanks Molly for having me here. So excited to be here. You and I met first in coach training and specifically when I went through master coach training, you were one of the mentor coaches there. So our paths have kind of crossed throughout the years. Yeah, and currently I'm working with primarily female entrepreneurs, although I have a few male entrepreneurs that I work with as well. And I help them with productivity, efficiency, performance things.

Molly Claire 03:07

I love it. Love it. And one of the things I really love about it is that, you know, we can say that you use science in your approach. And we know that productivity and effectiveness, it speaks to a very cerebral experience, right? Being very cognitive, very productive. And I happen to know from our conversations that you have a similar view or similar approach that I do, which is really understanding the whole human being in front of you when you're helping them with productivity.

Neill Williams 03:42

Yeah, yes, I think that typically when we hear time management and productivity, we think cerebral, right? We think like, I'll make a plan and I'm gonna beautifully color block my calendar and I'm going to use all these tools. And do you, are they effective? Totally, but they don't tell us the whole picture about our relationship with time. So I find for a lot of the people that I work with, they'll have a beautifully color-coded time-blocked calendar and their experience of their time is abysmal. It is like, I just feel rushed. I feel so much urgency. I don't know how to prioritize. I'm completely drained by the end of the day. I felt like I sat here for 10 hours and I literally got nothing done. So when I started to see that in my clients, I was like trying to figure out what is going on here. Why are these tools not working, right? And what I learned is something that you talk a lot about where there is a holistic approach, right? It's not just a cerebral experience. So our relationship with time isn't just about external time. That's what I call clock time. There's also mental time and body time. So there is the mindset aspect to it, but there is also physiology involved in it, which is not something anyone really thinks about when they think about productivity.

Molly Claire 05:07

I know you just think about the calendar that's color-coded and being effective using your prefrontal cortex to be really effective.

Neill Williams 05:16

That's right. If I get all of the things on my list crossed off by the end of the day, then I nailed it. Right? But how often does that actually happen? And then what happens is then we start to have this really miserable experience with time. I have so much to do. I don't have enough time. I'm constantly rushing. I'm burning myself out and completely ignoring what my needs are for the sake of crossing something off of my ticket list.

Molly Claire 05:43

Yes, that's right. And one of the things I want to speak to and would love your take on is, you know, I think about my listeners who are typically pretty ambitious, go getters, really interested in improving themselves. And I think about how many of us spend most of our life trying to outdo, outachieve, create, you know, cram more in. And, and we beat ourselves up for not doing a great job of just kind of trying to overproduce, honestly, like beyond, beyond what's reasonable for us.

Neill Williams 06:20

Yeah, or realistic even.

Molly Claire 06:22

Yeah, yes. And so I know I can just I can say that for me, I know that I enjoy achievement, I enjoy doing it because there is a really positive aspect of that for me. And also I know that the messages that I heard early in my life, Oh, Molly, she's responsible. Oh, look at what you've done, right? We achieve and then well, now I'm safe. Now people love me. Yes, value me. And so I think that I know one of the challenges I see in my clients and something I've had to, you know, really truly work through at a nervous system level for myself is it's safe to relax. It's safe to- I feel like the very moments that I think that I need to be, you know, doubling down on my work and doing more and more and more is the exact time that I need to stop and remind my body that I am safe, which allows me to be way more effective. So tell me your thoughts on that.

Neill Williams 07:33

Yeah, no, it's so true. The nervous system has such a powerful impact on how productive, how we perform and what state our nervous system is in, but also the state of our biology. So there's something that I call a body budget. And depending on the state of your body budget, it's going to really have an impact on how effective you are. And so when we're in, let's just talk about the nervous system. Because you do a lot of this work when we're like hyper in the nervous system, that's where like urgency, we're like multitasking, probably not making the best decisions with our time in terms of what matters most, but really just like seeking that achievement feeling. So we're like checking email or responding to Slack messages or the things that make us feel productive and accomplished. Whereas when we're in kind of like that resilient nervous system state, we're able to prioritize, we're much more clear because we're operating from a calm, confident place. And we're just more effective. We have our prefrontal cortex is actually available to us to help us make decisions and actually implement the things that we really want to do on our calendars. So the nervous system really, really matters, but also our physiology overall matters. So for instance, Molly, you've probably had this experience. I have it a lot. You have a really poor night of sleep. You wake up the next day, you look at your calendar. You're like, there is no chance I can execute on this, right? Like you're feeling very tired. Your body budget is down. So your thought patterns aren't going to be super helpful necessarily. They're going to be maybe more towards the negative. You've probably experienced overwhelm, maybe a little defeat or something along those lines. Versus if you have a great night of sleep, everything's going well. You have lots of energy. You're like, I'm nailing this. Like it's no problem, right? Your experience is totally different. Yes. What happened? There was literally nothing that changed on your calendar, same calendar, but your experience of that is wildly different depending on the state of your physiology.

Molly Claire 09:57

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I love that you bring that up and remind all of us, well, a few things. One is, yeah, what is the state of our physiology, right? And it matters and how important it is to take that into account so that we don't, like, make the situation worse, right? So instead of potentially acknowledging and accepting where we are and what our capacity is and or how to, like, care for our needs as we're accomplishing whatever we are, right? If we're judging ourselves on top of that, then it's just gonna make it even worse, right? Totally. Yeah.

Neill Williams 10:38

Yeah, because the way we tend to judge ourselves is, did I execute on this plan that I had for myself in the way that I made the plan? But the thing we tend to forget is, okay, we made the plan under a certain physiology, under a certain set of circumstances. Is that the same physiology instead of circumstances that I'm now living with that plan and having to execute on in the day?

Molly Claire 11:05

Yeah, so what, what would you say to someone who's like, you know, I'm imagining my listeners thinking, okay, well, so then what, like, what do I do? Right? When my physiology is not fair, where I get to be, what then do I do with this list?

Neill Williams 11:19

Yeah, I think there's a couple of ways to approach it, and it's different, probably depending on the circumstances. So one would be like recognizing, okay, my physiology, I'm just not feeling my greatest. So my choice is, do I ask myself to do things that are going to be super challenging for me to actually do today? And maybe the answer is yes, sometimes that is true. It's like, no, this just has to get done. And so I'm willing to do that. And other times it's like, okay, no, I'm not actually going to ask myself to do this when I'm not physiologically able to execute it in the way that I really want to be able to do that. So it's going to have to go somewhere else on that calendar. And I'm going to have to live with the consequences of that.

Molly Claire 12:02

Yeah.

Neill Williams 12:02

Now, the other thing you can do is there are tools that can help us boost our physiology in ways. And when I say that, what I'm really talking about, when we're talking about performance and productivity, I'm talking about focus and energy and there's biochemicals associated with that, our motivation. So dopamine is associated with motivation. Acetylcholine is associated with focus, adrenaline with energy. And in fact, cortisol is also an important part of this too, because that helps us perform. And I know cortisol gets a really bad rap, but cortisol is there to help us. It's just that we don't shut our cortisol down. So we have the chronic impact of stress. But there are ways to bolster those biochemicals within the body in situations where you're like feeling not so great, where those just aren't really working for you. So there are tools to be able to use as well.

Molly Claire 13:01

And what are some of those or how do you work with your client?

Neill Williams 13:05

So, like, let's just take focus, for example, because a lot of people I work with are like, I just can't focus, like, I just can't, you know, I find myself looking at a million different things. So, interestingly, the nervous system, as you know, Molly, is responsible for a lot of this. And the two pieces of the nervous system that are outside the body are the eyes. And the eyes have everything to do with focus. And we can actually manufacture a little more acetylcholine in our system to help us focus just by doing some visual exercises, like looking at your screen in template for like 30 to 60 seconds, that helps visually focus. And so then you are mentally focused, which I think is so cool, like all these tools that are available are free and easy to use. Like you don't need an app, you don't need anything fancy, right? Another thing you can do is wear a hat. So this is- I had my son do this in school a lot because he had a hard time focusing. He's not a kid that can sit very well for long periods of time. So school's torturous for him. So you wear a hat and that your visual focus is straight ahead versus up around. And so that's, you know, you're able to focus mentally just by doing some little trick like that.

Molly Claire 14:28

One thing that's coming to mind, as you're saying this, which also relates to what you were saying earlier about operating in that stress state is that these tools that can help and are easy and are free, also require us to pause and make a decision to use. That's right. And I think that I can definitely say this is true for me. And I'm guessing many of my listeners, I think that for a pretty long time in my life, I didn't even recognize how often I was in a state of just overdoing and overworking and working really in a stress state and believing that was normal productivity. And so now it's like, and this is one of the things that I've, you know, done very, like, I'm very conscious about and conscientious and conscientious in helping my clients with it as well, is more of that slowing down more of that pausing to check in on what our state is. And so, and it's interesting, like even those of you listening, do you notice like what's coming to mind when you're thinking about how you work and get in that stress state? And what would possibly be different if there was a bit more of a pause, a bit more of a slowing down feeling a little more calm and present, right, to think about how that would impact your productivity.

Neill Williams 16:06

Yeah, and the reason I think one of the main reasons that we don't do that is because we're so attuned and believing that speed is associated with productivity. So slowing down, and for many of us is like, if I slow down, I'm gonna be worse off, right? I'm gonna get less done because we believe that speed has something to do with our productivity and efficiency. So that's part of that mindset work. Mindset is also very, very powerful for your relationship with time and your performance, but it is the slowing down that is really important because then we get to make conscious choices. I think, I don't know if this is true across all women, but I think for me, for sure, as a high achieving, like I've always been that person that has like set the big goals and gone after them, really making a conscious choice if that's what makes sense for today versus just subconsciously believing that is always the way that I work. If that is always the way that I work, that's the habit of working that I'm always going to be in. And there could be potentially long-term consequences to that.

Molly Claire 17:25

Yeah, I love this conversation. And those of you listening, if you notice, you know, we're bringing in these four fundamentals of change that I talk about all the time, right? The mind, she's mentioned the mind. You've mentioned some of the strategies as well that you use with your clients and the nervous system. And tell me a little about emotions and sort of how do you work with your clients in the emotion space? Yeah.

Neill Williams 17:50

The emotions like we have had this discussion before and I know you've talked on your podcast before about the nervous system and the nervous system role like 20% of inputs come from our brain to our body but 80% from the body up and the same is true with emotions. So depending on how we're feeling where our emotions are going to kind of track with that. So if I wake up feeling very depleted it's very likely that my natural emotional state is going to come from what we call in the literature it's called affect. So the negative affect bucket meaning I'm maybe gonna feel a little bit down maybe a little apathetic. Overwhelm is much more likely versus if I wake up and my body budget my physiology is in a good state I'm much more likely to feel joyful and motivated and excited and so I think what is unfortunate in the productivity and time management industry is the complete ignoring of the body and the role of that in our own effectiveness.   It plays a huge role and I think when we don't know that if we are feeling really down and we like look at our counter like I don't really want to do any of this then we start judging and blaming ourselves that there's something wrong with us for feeling that way but in reality it could just be you know what your body's a little bit tired or something's going on and so that's just kind of the natural little trajectory that your emotional state is going to take for today it's not a big deal.

Molly Claire 19:30

Mm hmm. And I think it's interesting because, you know, as, as you're talking, it's, it's like I keep seeing this theme of this nuance sort of magical combination of acceptance of what is right acceptance of where my body is, where my mental and emotional state is where you know where my body is, and that acceptance and the power within that, that we do have to improve it. Yes, because I think sometimes we can sway to one side of, you know, the like we go over here to this end of the spectrum where it's like, you know, I can always feel great, I can always think this way, right, where we're just trying to control everything and really denying some of what's going on underneath for us, right? Physiologically. And then we can swing over to this side and say, well, if I don't have a good night's sleep, or if I'm not feeling well, I'm just like completely doomed. Right. But I think that it's like, as you were talking about, when we can accept the state of where we are, it actually minimizes any compounding negative effect to that, right, where we're either believing that we're stuck or we're criticizing ourselves for feeling that way. Yeah. Yeah.

Neill Williams 20:52

And I think it gives us the ability to make a conscious choice like, okay, here's where I'm at today. Now, how do I want to approach this? How do I want to approach my calendar? How do I want to approach my to-do list? Yeah, that's right. A much healthier, I think way of thinking about it.

Molly Claire 21:11

Yes, where you're really, you're really finding solutions with yourself, right? Expecting what is and now within this, where is my choice? Where is my power within the current situation? Right? Yeah.

Neill Williams 21:24

It's like, what do I need? Okay, if I ask this of myself, then maybe what I need is a nap in this afternoon, you know?

Molly Claire 21:31

Seriously, that's great. Let's do that

Neill Williams 21:35

Right? But I think because we get so stuck in these like ways of thinking like, I have to do this, this has to get done. And we kind of tie in our self-worth with our achievements. I know for me, that has definitely been the case. Like what you were saying earlier about those messages you received of being like a responsible person, a high achiever for me too. And especially like, I don't know if this happened to you, Molly, but it did for me is like, look at Neill, see how she's doing this, see how she's blah, blah, blah. So then you're like, Oh, it's my responsibility to be this model of this perfect high-achieving human. And so then we think that that's what we need to do, or that's the way that it looks. And so then achievement becomes kind of like our metric, right? That's what we're running towards all the time.

Molly Claire 22:28

Mm-hmm. That's right. That's right. And the new book that's come out with my coaches, those of you listening, if you haven't heard about it before, it's She Rises, and we each have a chapter in there. And my chapter is about wholeness over hustle. And it is talking about this very idea of, can we be whole and healthy day-to-day in this space, and as we are more whole and as we are more grounded and taking care of ourselves and our needs, that's when we're going to be most productive. That's when we're going to be able to utilize, like, use the genius within us, right?

Neill Williams 23:07

Yeah, for sure. And the other thing I would say to that is, we also have a natural 24-hour rhythm. I've seen this happen with many women. And that's called a circadian rhythm, everybody can Google it, you can find your own. It's based on genetics. It's not something you can change. But it's super interesting to know kind of what yours is. But I see this in women all the time that I work with, they'll be like a morning person. And then they're like judging themselves because at three o'clock, they're tired. And they're like, I just can't, I just can't work anymore. And there's something wrong with me. I'm like, no, that's your biology girl. Like that's just your normal rhythm. That is the way nature made you to function. Or the other way in our society, I really feel like the evening types are so judged, you know, they have bad habits and they need something wrong with me. I'm lazy. I'm unproductive, because I don't really get started and get in my groove till like noon. And there's something wrong with me. Yeah, right. So just understanding kind of what your natural 24-hour cycle is and learning how to work with it. And how biology changes throughout the day. And that's as it should be. And you can work with it to be even more effective in a holistic healthy way.

Molly Claire 24:31

Yeah. This is so awesome. What an amazing conversation. And I just, I definitely, I am a morning person. And in the afternoon, I felt, you know, I've had my fair share of conflict in my mind about ending my work day early. And is it really allowed? And it's like, why would I not work when I'm most productive? So this is funny. So Neill, I know, you know, my sister, Amy, as well. And Amy and I had a business together for about three years. And she is a night owl and I am a morning person. And so there were just a few times, we're in different time zones, right? Oh, yeah. Pacific and I'm central. So there would be a few times where I would have gotten up really early. And she was up really late. And we would both be online at the same time. And she'd say, I'd say, what are you doing up? And her response, of course, was, what are you doing? So it's just, you know, it's just how we naturally are.

Neill Williams 25:34

Yeah. And I think finding power in that versus there's something deficient in me because I am built this way. Yeah, that's right.

Molly Claire 25:47

Yeah. Well, this has been such a great conversation with so many great nuggets. I would love for you to share any last thoughts, last words of wisdom, and then of course tell everyone where they can find you.

Neill Williams 25:59

Yeah, I think when you're thinking about your relationship with time, what I would say is it's not just about the external time. It's not just about what's on the clock. What's more important is what's happening inside of you and really learning to embrace that and accept it and use it as part of your efficiency power versus like there's something wrong with me. I should be doing it the way someone else is doing it, right? You know, honoring that uniqueness and if somebody wants to do some work on their own relationship with time, their productivity performance, you can find me at my website www.neillwilliams.com or you can listen to my podcast. It's called success genius.

Molly Claire 26:44

Awesome, awesome. Thank you so much for being here. What a great conversation.

Neill Williams 26:51

Thanks Molly.

Molly Claire 26:53

All right, and as you're all taking this in, I really want to emphasize to pay attention to you. Pay attention to the things that work for you. Pay attention to your own rhythm. Really give yourself permission to have the best answers for you as far as how you can grow and move forward. That's what I've got for you all and I'll talk with you next week.