00:39

Hello and welcome to the podcast. 

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If you are here and maybe within the last week or so, maybe even within the last 24 hours, you have found yourself feeling a little bit spread thin, wondering why and how you have so much on your plate, or maybe even feeling discouraged or overwhelmed with your business and even life-business balance. 

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If this is you and you can relate to this, this episode is for you. So I'm recording this as I'm preparing to speak at a summit in Austin, Texas. It's the Mom 2.0 Summit, and I'm going to be running some roundtable sessions where we're talking about peaceful profits and the importance of ensuring that you are building a business that not only fuels and funds your life, but fuels and funds your own well-being. 

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So that's what we're going to talk about today. This is something that you've heard me talk about before. My chapter in the book, She Rises, is wholeness over hustle, which is this idea that when we, when you are able to feel more whole, more healed, more taken care of mentally, emotionally, and physically, that that is when and how you are at your very best. 

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This is a lesson that I have learned over and over again, and I continue to remind myself and lean into it and really anchor into it. So this is what we're talking about. And in fact, I'm talking about those four fundamentals of lasting change that I always talk about and how they play into this. 

 02:47

So as we get started, I want you to just take a minute here. And if you're in a place where you're able to close your eyes, go ahead and do that. If not, if you're driving, you're working out, whatever, totally fine. 

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Do the best you can. Okay. So I want you to take a minute and think about the last time that you felt the most, I'm going to use a lot of words and I want you to kind of think about which, which of these kind of land for you. 

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And so as I describe this, you know, some of these words may land, some may not, but you're going to get kind of the gist of where I'm asking you to go. Okay. So I want you to think about the last time that you felt relaxed, at ease with yourself, within your life, within your business, kind of one of those moments of feeling really grounded, really solid. 

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One of those moments where you were really trusting yourself, trusting your ability to make decisions, trusting your ability to make the money that you want, to deliver what you want to your clients, and even maybe those moments of trusting in your ability to show up in your life or the people that you love in the best way. 

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I want you to think about that and let's really take it in for a minute and think about what it is like when you feel certainty, you feel confident, you feel grounded, you feel solid, you feel that sense of being fully capable. 

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And as you take that in, I want you to notice, and if you're referencing a specific time, you can think back to then. And if not, even if you're just right in this moment, as you're feeling all of this, I want you to notice how that impacts how you actually show up, how you actually make decisions, how you actually direct your energy in your life and in your business and what it is that that creates. 

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And the reason I'm asking you to think about this is that the truth is that when you are mentally, emotionally, and physically cared for, taken care of, healthy, balanced well. That is how you will leverage your greatest capabilities. 

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That is when and how you will access your greatest insights. And for some reason, right, somehow, we all get caught up in trying to outachieve our last achievement, outachieve the person next to us. And we can have so much fear. 

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And listen, if I were pointing the finger at you, I would be the pot calling the kettle black. The reason I speak about this so passionately is because I relate, because these are the places I am redirecting myself all the time. 

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Because we can get so much fear about being able to achieve what we want, to be of value. We can have so much fear around money. And no matter how much money we make, somehow that next level seems like the place where we'll feel more secure, more confident, right? 

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I know you relate to some of this, but the reality is that when we're in that place where we are trying to, where we are overgiving, we are over functioning, and we are in this activated state, even in states of fight or flight, the stress state that we're so used to that it seems normal when we're in that place. 

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We cannot, we are not operating from our most powerful place of creativity, ability to make money, ability to actually achieve what we want. And so I want to talk about and highlight these four fundamentals. 

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And today I want you to think about how they relate to you feeling more confident, more grounded, more balanced, more well, more whole, more well-rested, and more alive. Let's talk about number one. So when I'm talking about the four fundamentals, I'll just, if you're, this is the first time you're here listening to this podcast, I'll back up and tell you. 

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The four fundamentals of lasting change, the four fundamentals of true long-lasting transformation success are understanding and working with the mind, understanding and working with your emotional world, understanding and working with your nervous system, which is the backdrop of all of your thoughts and feelings, and understanding how to have the right type of plan of action and strategy that actually works from the lens of understanding our mind, our emotions, and our nervous system so that we can have a plan that we actually follow through on. These are the four fundamentals. So now coming back to this topic of ensuring that you can more regularly, more often be in a place of feeling whole, feeling grounded, feeling rested and creating what you want and dropping being spread thin, overwhelmed, all the nonsense we get caught up in. 

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Let's talk about number one, the mind. Question for you to consider. How aware are you of your mindset and your beliefs and the way they impact how crowded your schedule is? Do you have thoughts and beliefs about I need to work harder to make more money? 

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The only way I can make more money is if I spread myself thin. Do you have beliefs about needing to be everything to everyone? Really good to know. What beliefs do you have around money specifically? 

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What is your relationship with creating a busy schedule? Interesting thing to think about, right? What is my relationship with creating a busy schedule? Do I wear busyness as a badge of honor? Oh, I'm so busy. 

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I have so much going on. There's so much to do. There's so little time. Notice the things that you think, that you believe, and that you say when it comes to your schedule, your to-dos, your business goals. 

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How aware are you? And now, the second piece of this, when it comes to the mind, because I talk about the mind, I talk about mindset, I talk about thought work, but I talk about it in a way that we need to use it so that it is actually supportive of our growth, not a new way to beat ourselves up. 

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What do I mean by this? Not going to, I know I shouldn't be thinking this way. It's my fault. It's just my stupid beliefs that are creating this for me. That's not where we want to go. That's not supportive of the whole human being. 

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That's not compassionate. And it's not a way that awareness of thoughts and beliefs is actually going to give you traction and move you forward. So how aware are you of those thoughts and beliefs? And how much space and openness and compassion can you hold for them? 

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Let's talk about fundamental number two when it comes to more peace, more profits in your life, in your business, your emotional world. How often do you tune in to how you are feeling and get curious about why you're feeling this way? 

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I know that if you had said this to me maybe even 10 years ago, I would have wondered, what are you even talking about? Because we can see our emotions as an annoyance or something that we just need to change or fix or get over. 

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And what I know to be true is that your emotional world and the emotional needs you have and the things you feel really matter. They matter in terms of your sense of well-being. Your emotions and paying attention to them and attuning to them and attending to them matters when it comes to nervous system regulation. 

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Did you know that even naming an emotion, putting a label on it, saying it out loud, sharing it, can help to bring your nervous system activation down, just like that. So I want you to think about how much space do you make for your emotions to matter? 

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Do you ever ask yourself the question, what am I feeling and what am I needing? The more you can care about and attune to your own emotional world, the better you will understand yourself, the better you will care for yourself, and believe me, the more prepared and equipped you will be to show up for other people and the greater your capacity. 

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Let's talk about fundamental number three. Are you aware of the states of your nervous system? One of the phrases that we use in master coach training when my coaches are learning about the nervous system and they learn about it in many ways because we do tapping work with Melanie Fay and it's incorporated throughout the year. 

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And also we have Leah Davidson, who is just phenomenal and brilliant when it comes to nervous system work. And one of the things that she talks about is befriending your nervous system. Think about how frustrated we can be if we are on high alert. 

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And when our emotions run high, we're in this activated state. And sometimes, well, when we're in an activated state, oftentimes we are not exactly at our best, right? This is when we may snap at people. 

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We lose our temper, right? We have these behaviors we don't like. So how easy is it to be frustrated with ourselves within that, right? But when we can instead befriend our nervous system and understand what it looks like to be in a sympathetic nervous system state and why that is and what we're needing and how to regulate. 

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When we can understand our nervous system, befriend our nervous system, it allows you to have more of a say in the behaviors that you are exhibiting more often. And when you can work on your nervous system capacity, your emotional capacity, and when you can understand more about nervous system regulation, the better equipped you will be to say no to things that do not belong on your calendar and the more access you will have to your prefrontal cortex, which is going to allow you to make smart choices, to plan ahead, to be strategic. Okay, so I'm kind of going over this quickly, but this is a starting point for you to think about. Fundamental number four, when it comes to you having a schedule that is feasible, where your well-being is taken into account, where you truly are able to prioritize what is important to you in your life and business. 

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How much do you leverage creating routines and having action plans that make sense and make things easier? Sometimes action plans that we put together end up being just a new way for us to spread ourselves thin or expect perfection. 

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And I don't think those are useful. But what is useful is to say, what is one small habit I can create that is going to make everything easier and better? What is one small habit that I will allow myself to work on slowly and consistently for as long as I need to until it is hardwired into me. 

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When you can use strategies, routine, action plans, these kind of things can support a new identity for you. What I mean by this is, for example, having a small new habit or routine where you go through your calendar and you regularly ask yourself, what can I eliminate from this? 

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What can I, oh, the word outsource is coming to me. What's the word? I'm freezing here. Delegate. What can I delegate? Going through a list like that, think about this one little habit. Not only is it in a practical sense removing things from your list, but it is reinforcing and reminding you that you have permission to say no. 

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It is helping you build the identity of a person who knows how to make decisions and take care of herself. And so I think that when it comes to these four pieces of the puzzle, the mind, the emotions, the nervous system, and the action strategies, I think when you can have these four pillars front and center and you can learn the needs of these different parts of you and have a holistic plan for yourself, it allows you to manage your life and your business and everything much better. And as I wrap up today, it's interesting because I'm talking about this right from a personal perspective. And the reason why this is the formula, the framework, the method that I teach my coaches is that as a coach, you're having clients coming to you to change all kinds of things in their life, right? 

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Their relationship, their health, their finances, maybe their decluttering, whatever it is they're doing. And the reality is that as we are creating meaningful change, one of the most important things we as coaches can do, I'm speaking to those of you that are coaches, as coaches, that one of the most important things we can do is help our clients to better know themselves, better understand themselves, and to be able to better create the sense of peace and balance and self-connection so that they can truly have access to their greatest capabilities and follow through with change. Okay, this is what I've got for you. 

 18:42

Take this all in. Hey, and by the way, if you love this podcast, if you got something out of it, would you take a minute to leave a five-star review? It would mean so much to me. And it helps other people to be able to gather here and join on our journey of mastering our lives, which really means being with ourselves every step along the way. 

 19:04

All right, that's what I've got for you. If you're interested in master coach training, I am taking applications now. I am gathering a group for the fall. I am so thrilled to work with those of you who are ready to learn more about the four fundamentals of lasting change. 

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All right, I'll talk with you next week.