00:39

Hello, everyone. Welcome to this week's episode. We're going to be talking about the struggles that go along with building a business, whether you have a coaching business, a consultation business, any kind of dream that you're moving forward, that side hustle, whatever it is. 

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How do we stay steady? How do we stay the course? How do we handle, this is the big question, right? How do we handle what seems to be the roller coaster of emotions that happen when we are trying to create success in a profitable business? 

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So this is what we are talking about today. This was inspired by an opportunity I had yesterday. I was invited into a community to teach on this subject, to talk, to do some Q and A. And I thought, you know what? 

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I want to share this with my audience. So huge shout out to Tracy Hoth for inviting me into her community. Tracy is an organization coach. I love her work. I just love her vibe, everything about her. 

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And it was such an honor to be with them. So by the way, if you have some kind of community membership, I always love to be a guest to come in to bring insights and support and do Q and A and coaching. 

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So always reach out to my team if you're interested in that. Okay, before we dive any further into this, a few things I want to make you aware of. Number one, the deep reset retreat is happening the end of April. 

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It is an unmatched experience. I am telling you, if you were on the fence last time and you didn't come, jump at the chance. If you've been hearing about it, curious about it, I guarantee it is going to be one of the best choices of your life. 

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There is incredible power in being away, being in a space of stillness, being in a space of growth with the right support. And, you know, I think that I know many of you can relate to this, that as women, sometimes we can have a bit of trepidation or hesitation in really opening up with other women in community, especially if we have feelings of, you know, insecurity about maybe where our business is or, you know, how things are going in our life or relationships. And what I will say is that the incredible sense of safety and healing and growth that is possible when you bring together a group of heart-centered, supportive, kind, genuine women. 

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It's just beyond words. And that is truly what this experience is. Melanie Fay is a gifted EFT practitioner. We are going to do some of the same things that we did last time, a few different things. One of the things we are definitely bringing back to the retreat is an experience of some expressive art. 

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And if this freaks you out, believe me, I relate because I felt the same and many others felt the same when we started. And I will tell you that it ended up being such an experience that really cracked a lot of things open in the best way. 

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So all this being said, I would love to have you. The retreat is absolutely unmatched. It is a beautiful cabin, a beautiful space, incredible food, gentleness, rest, clarity. It's amazing. So check it out, mollyclare.com. 

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You can book a call with me if you have questions or you can just book right away. We have two private rooms left and we also have some beds and some shared spaces where you can get there at a bit of a lower cost if that's better for you. 

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So there's that. Also, make sure you're on my list. Check the show notes here because we have a one-day workshop coming up in March. We're going to be working on coaching skills. This is for those of you that are coaches. 

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You want some advanced skills. Maybe you weren't ready to commit to a full year certification, but you know you want to understand more about mind, emotion, nervous system, and action plans. This is for you. 

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We're doing a day workshop and there is also an opportunity to take an even deeper dive after that. So stay tuned, stay tuned, be on the list, and let's talk about staying the course in business despite the roller coaster of emotions. 

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So I want you to take just a minute to think about it is like for you. As a, of course, I'm speaking specifically to those of you that are entrepreneurs, that are building a business. You can relate this to whatever applies to you, always, always, always. 

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But I want you to think about what it is like for you as you have moved toward your goal in your business, what you've wanted to build, create, the impact, the money goals, how much profit you're making, the quality of life you want. 

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And wherever you are in your journey, there's likely been some level of ups and downs. And I know that I can say for me that the roller coaster of emotions, the ups and downs have been significant over the years. 

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And I want you to just think for a minute. What would be different if you could feel a little more peace and acceptance around a bit of a flow of ups and downs? If you felt more capable of handling the big emotions that come up. 

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If when you experience fear, doubt, spirals of negative emotions, if you were able to keep a bit of distance and perspective from it, if you were able to see the fears that may be wanting to swallow you up and yet hold steady and see those fears, see those doubts for what they are. 

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What would be different? And the reality is that whether we're talking about building a business or any area of life, ups and downs exist. Our emotions exist. We feel excitement. We feel motivation. We get excited about the vision. 

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And we experience disappointment. And we experience fear. And we experience failure. And so all of this is normal. And there are some key things that I want to highlight that can really help to make a huge, huge difference. 

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So when I spoke yesterday in Tracy's group, we were, of course, talking about this for an hour. There's so much to it, but I'm really giving you some highlights here. They're going to be super beneficial. 

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So let's get started. Number one, it is vital that you anchor yourself in the path where you are headed. And there are a lot of ways that we can do this. One of the things that I am specifically going to highlight here for you is the power in taking the time to see and understand and create your own ideal life business vision. 

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If you don't have a business, your own life vision. And I want to talk specifically about why this is so powerful. So for me, 100%, when I found coaching, when I found this career path, I knew it was for me. 

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I wanted to make a difference. This is the work I wanted to do. Like coaching and this work, it absolutely lights me up. Period. End of story. And a big part of my driver in making my business successful was because of the life vision that I wanted. 

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Becoming a single mom, stepping into raising my kids on my own, I did not want my single mom life to be what I had experienced as a child or what I had seen modeled. What I knew is that I wanted a quality of life where I was available to my kids, where I was able to be present with my kids, where I had time, freedom, and flexibility to participate. 

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I wanted to be able to provide with ease. Like these things were so important to me. And I'm so grateful that I had such a connection and conviction to how important this was for me and still is for me. 

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Because it has been hands down the biggest factor in me staying steady on my course. This isn't to say that I don't get distracted. This isn't to say that I don't get thrown off course, that I don't get down, that I don't have days where I think I should just go get a job. 

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It doesn't last very long, but I have those days. We all, all have those days truly, genuinely. No matter how confident I appear, you know, in my videos or when I'm talking and teaching to you, I'm very genuine right now. 

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And I feel all those things that you feel, all of them. And what I will say is this ideal life vision, when you can take the time to say, when I think about my life, what really matters to me? How do I want to spend my time? 

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Who do I want to spend my time with? What is the quality of well-being that I want to be mine? When you can do that and when you can have that as a focal point and as an anchor for you, it does a few things. 

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It allows you to keep that perspective and stay focused on the long term when the little moments don't measure up to what you want. It allows you to stay focused there when the little moments seem big and hard and even impossible. 

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The other powerful thing about this type of anchor is that it becomes a filter for your decision-making process. It allows you to say no to things that don't align. It allows you to say yes to things that you know are a yes to you, that you know will work for you, even if it goes against, you know, common, common ways of thinking or how we think we're supposed to do it. 

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When you are clear on what you want your quality of life and quality of existence to be, it allows a powerful way for you to make decisions and claim what you want. Okay? The next thing I want to talk about is skills. 

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Now, yes, you need skills and strategies in building a business. And here's what I want to say. Skills and strategy in building your business, they are actually absolutely important. I'm not skipping over them because they're not important, but I think that a lot of people talk about them and we all know they're important and I agree. 

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And the skills that I want to speak to you about is the self skills of managing your own internal world. The reality is that we will all experience dysregulation of our nervous system. We will all feel overwhelmed with our emotions. 

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We will all struggle with a stuck mindset. We will all have times and ways that our brain, our body, and our emotions will completely shut down on us. And having the business skills and learning the strategy is vital. 

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And having the skills and building the skills of learning to work with your own human biology, with your human psychology, rather than blaming yourself for the times and ways you sabotage or don't show up. 

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Working with yourself and having the skills of the self are going to be the thing that's going to keep you moving forward. Now listen, they don't have to be perfect. They never will be. You don't have to have them all in order to succeed. 

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But what you do need to do is you need to be aware of your current level of self-regulation skills and you need to constantly be working on them. What do I mean by this? You guys hear it all the time for me, my four-part framework, exactly what I teach my master coaches, right? 

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We need to understand our mind. How are our mind management skills? Are we aware of the patterns that we have in our brain? And do we have the tools and ability to work with our mind in a safe and effective way? 

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Next part of the framework, emotions. How in tune are you with your own emotions? Do you have an understanding of your emotional world? And every time I talk about this on the podcast, I always feel like we just need to go spend like months diving into this because learning your emotional world is something that most people don't know how to do. 

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We don't know. And this is something that I am really like, this is hands down my favorite part of all the work I do with my clients because it's one thing to be aware of our emotions. It's another thing to understand how we actually attend to and attune to our own emotions, how we work with ourselves emotionally, and how we have the level of awareness needed to make the decisions in our life to be supportive of us. 

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Okay, so that's the, that's the next thing. Your emotional world. How aware are you of your emotional world? Your nervous system. Are you familiar with your nervous system states? Are you able to have practices to ground yourself, bringing yourself into a parasympathetic state? 

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Are you aware? That's the big question here. And the other self-skill that I focus on is the ability to create plans of action that are going to work for you. And so, so skills, right? Skills and strategy. 

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You've got to learn the business skills and strategy and create the self-regulation, the self-management, the self-care, the working with self-skills that you have are hands down your greatest asset as an entrepreneur. 

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And by the way, your greatest asset as you navigate life and relationships and all the most important things. Okay. The next thing I want to touch on when it comes to navigating the ups and downs and the roller coaster is, do you have support? 

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Now, listen, I know because you're here, you are someone who's probably very independent. You take ownership of your life. You take ownership and responsibility of your thoughts, of your feelings. That's fantastic. 

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And guess what? As human beings, we are wired for connection. We are influenced by who is around us. Having a mentor, having a coach, having someone giving you guidance and support and helping you to understand your own internal world, it absolutely has to happen. 

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And I'm not just saying this because this is something I provide. I'm not saying this to sell you on this. Many of you aren't even a fit for what I would offer. So whether you work with me or whether you find the support system that's for you, you've got to have the right support. 

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For me, this means I have my coach, my tapping support, I have my mastermind, this group of four incredible women who are always there for me, who challenge me, who help me to have perspective. So what is your support system? 

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Look around you, your friends, your colleagues, coach, mentor, guidance. Support, it matters. The last thing I just want to highlight as I finish up, and I know that I touched on this a little bit with regard to the skills of self, is that one of the best things you can do to move yourself forward is to befriend yourself. 

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Learn more about how the brain and body works. Learn more about why you get stuck, why you sabotage, why you go to negative or unhelpful ways of thinking, and how can you work with yourself to make shifts? 

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I can't even begin to tell you the drastic difference between a conversation of self-blame and self-frustration. Why do I do this? I should manage my mind better. I know I'm in my own way. I shouldn't sabotage. 

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Criticize, criticize, criticize versus, I'm so curious about the patterns happening for me. I'm so curious about where or why or how I'm not feeling safe in my own body. I'm so curious about why I'm feeling afraid and how can I support myself in creating safety within so that I can move forward. 

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Work with yourself. Know yourself. Learn yourself. Thank you for being here. Here's what I want to leave you with. When you are working toward building a business, building a legacy, building creating impact, something that matters to you, it is inevitable that it is going to bring up a lot of big feelings. 

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It is inevitable that it is going to bring up a lot of things from your past that you maybe didn't even know existed or certainly didn't know they were still there. And what I will say to you is that taking these steps and taking this journey is worth it. 

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It is worth it. It is not easy. It is not easy. But it is worth it. Because you are stepping forward to saying yes to healing. Yes to growth. Yes to impact. Yes to putting more good into the world. And not just more good, but more of your own gifts and abilities, your own unique contributions. 

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You are bringing them to the world. And that is such a beautiful thing. All right. That's what I've got for you. I'll talk with you all next week.